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Looking for some support please
(Preview)
Hello everyone - after being on and or still regularly reading these boards for the last two years, I am back and looking for some support please until I can get to my next f2f meeting. Long story short, but I have separated from my AH. Things at home had been calmer and AH has reported he had stopped drin...
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Bettertomorrow
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17
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2480
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Courage to Change January 1
(Preview)
Happy New Year, MIP! In today's reading, the author reflects on the "instant-ness" of our society and how the habit of getting other things (instant coffee, money from an ATM, instant breakfast, etc.) in an instant can impact our desire to get instant answers when coming to Al-Anon. Recovery from...
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Skorpi
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4
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2297
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New attitude
(Preview)
Good morning MIP. Need to vent for a moment. Im away on my usual after XMas getaway which Ive done for the last 20 or so years. I suffer with a horrible back and its being HORRIBLE! Also, my A seems to be stuck in misery mode, as she cannot tolerate my living apart from her half the week, which I started ab...
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Lyne
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13
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770
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C2C Reading 12-31
(Preview)
the C2C reading for today, 12-31 speaks about the end of the year and the importance of taking the time to review the year and contemplate our progress We can then thank hp for our success and review what we did to contribute to our success. We will discover that we do play an important ROLL IN OUR...
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hotrod
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6
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2242
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Letting him sink, letting go and letting god
(Preview)
Hi, all, and happy holidays to you. As ever, I am so grateful for this group. I dont post often, but get much support from just reading. i dont have a lot of contact with my ex AH these days but we have a young adult daughter on the autism spectrum who lives with me. He lives in the same town, 5 minutes away. Whe...
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norasq
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12
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4690
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C2C, 12/30
(Preview)
The reading for Monday, 12/30, is about the choice we have of letting what other people do or say destroy our peace of mind or ruin our day. Do we have to respond to the words of a sick person as though they were the ultimate truth or authority? Do we enjoy the martyr role? Do we need attention and pity? Th...
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Lyne
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3
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1436
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Patterns
(Preview)
I was reading on line and I just had a thought cross my mind and wanted some feedback. When it comes to dating, I noticed I pick men who are loners, no friends, no close friendships. They are often alone and disconnected from family. It could be because they destroyed those relationships but I seem to be...
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joker
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8
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1328
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A Christmas miracle
(Preview)
I seldom invite people to my house ... not because I don't like people, but because I want to be a "perfect" hostess and am not sure I know how to do that, and I believe it would be too stressful for me. Last night, Christmas Eve, I decided to go to the Al-Anon meeting that's nearest my home. It's usually a b...
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Freetime
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10
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443
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Hope for Today Dec 29
(Preview)
Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about the idea of balance, accepting things we cannot change, and finding our sense of serenity. The writer describes having had difficulty with physical balance until a time that he/she felt a connection with the earth and the physical pull of gravity. T...
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yanksfan51
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3
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1497
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Hi, new member here
(Preview)
Hello everyone! I'm very grateful to have the opportunity to learn from you all. I'm walking down a road that I've been down before and can certainly benefit from any wisdom/experience shared here in this forum.
To give you a little history, I was married to an alcoholic for fifteen years. Our marri...
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wvlady
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24
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6929
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HOPE FOR TODAY, 12/27
(Preview)
The author of today's reading learned at an early age to be in charge of everything. Because adults in the family were not handling the houshold responsibilities, the author had to take it all on. By participating in Al-Anon, they saw how people in the group shared responsibilities. People signe...
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Freetime
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5
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843
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Just here to wish...
(Preview)
For everyone in my Al anon family: I wish you the happiest of holiday season. No matter where or who you are I ask for peace to lead the way of all your celebrations. I hope that however you celebrate, please remember to seek serenity in all you do! Don't let the hustle & bustle get you stressed over may...
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Hoot Nanny
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5
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1698
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Today's Hope December 25
(Preview)
Hello mip! In today's reading in today's hope, the author reflects on their beliefs about love. In the past, the author experienced relationships with people who were not able to give love freely. Love was used to manipulate or control. Love didn't seem like a positive thing, because it had been use...
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Skorpi
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4
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1281
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Courage to Change 12/26
(Preview)
Today's reading discusses being a victim vs. a volunteer. A very useful lesson learned by most in Al-Anon is that if we don't want to be a doormat, we have to get up off the floor. While we have no control over what others say, do or think, we are responsible or our own choices. The writer suggests that in...
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Iamhere
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3
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1350
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C2C, 12/23
(Preview)
The reading for Monday, 12/23, tells an interesting story. The author went to their first alanon meeting to support a friend, found themselves identifying with all the shares, and kept going back. The author felt like an imposter though, because they were positive they didn't even know any alcoh...
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Lyne
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3
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3199
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Me and treatment, as a family member. [Trigger- reference to suicide.]
(Preview)
Hi Y'all... some things I go over, again and again... I have noticed lately that the list of these things is getting shorter and shorter. In theory I favour therapy in tandem with time in our 12 Step groups. 100% I always say too- that we are works in progress, and sometimes our groups, also are...
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DavidG
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8
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2977
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Steps 11, and 12...
(Preview)
Hi y'all... Christmas day did not got smoothly- but IT WAS sorted out along the way. I feel that i have something to offer ALANON, and any other 12 step group- in fact, any other people. I believe that charity begins at home- so this happens primarily around friends and family. This, of course includ...
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DavidG
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0
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1389
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How do the Steps work?
(Preview)
In another programme we are told- "we guess at what normal is." Living with an addict- a drinkers does scramble up anybodies' boundaries. Broadly I felt that the steps gave me norms to live by- and the traditions gave me boundaries. Just reflecting on this stuff. Planning to demonstrate this a bit...
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DavidG
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10
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3738
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Merry Christmas
(Preview)
To all who celebrate, wishing you a day filled with serenity and love. TT
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tiredtonite
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3
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2876
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Hope for Today, 12/20
(Preview)
I don't often dip into the Hope For Today reader, but I am glad I looked at it today. The subject is detaching with love. The writer assumed they would never achieve it. THey couldn't imagine living without resentment. Bitterness was part of their identity. With Al-Anon, they slowly began to real...
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Freetime
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6
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761
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Wonderful Memories of Christmas
(Preview)
Hi, I wanted to share one of my many memories of Christmas, that I have had through out my Life, some Good, some not so good. This one however,always brings a smile to my face when I think of it. When 4 of my Grand Children were younger, I decided to do something very different, I really liked the American w...
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WendyP
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5
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3762
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Life, Love and Recovery
(Preview)
I am back @ Step One - admitting that I am powerless, simply because I am a person in recovery and it feels like the right place to be. My Thanksgiving was extremely different than expected, planned or even remotely considered. I've learned in recovery to keep my expectations low, and do reasonably we...
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Iamhere
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19
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3616
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I think a new thread with my good news may be needed.
(Preview)
Posted this as part of my last, but I do want those of you who have been praying for me and pulling for me to know.. I got the best news yesterday. All clear and nothing scary in residence. And I don't have to have radiation. Thank you all--I know the prayers and support made all the difference. And it sus...
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Temple
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16
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2499
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We Really are like Family
(Preview)
My homegroup received some sad news last week about one of our members. They'd been absent from the meeting a few weeks. Another member updated us that our meeting member has been diagnosed with lung cancer. Of all of our members, I would say this meeting member is likely the strongest in service to our...
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tiredtonite
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10
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1178
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A quick Step 10...
(Preview)
In my years in Alanon I have seen a lot of outside changes. The emancipation of women, for example. I saw this clearly- in the life of my mum. She left home the day after our youngest brother left school- and she crafted a life and a career for herself. This week i had 100% quality time with our oldest old ti...
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DavidG
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1
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3181
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Nadolig Llawen, Feliz Naidad, Kai Karaiti Hari, Mele Kalikimaka, Happy ChrIstmas, Y'all...
(Preview)
To all my friends here in MIP ALANON... For this of us who celebrate this day... cheers!
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DavidG
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0
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2810
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Hope for Today 12/22
(Preview)
Good morning everyone- This page begins with the writer describing some discomfort around praying at the close of meetings. In the writers experience there were expectations around prayer, in the sense that there are rules in certain religious/prayer settings and the feeling that there are rig...
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yanksfan51
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4
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477
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I failed
(Preview)
My husbands one year anniversary of his sobriety and I didnt make a big deal about. Hes upset but honestly I did not I was supposed to have cake. I did congrats him but for him it wasnt enough. I feel so bad. I guess I need to learn more about this journey and join a group to help me as he is private about his jour...
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MyTwoMiracles
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14
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4118
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rough weekend
(Preview)
Hi all. I just came to unload and park awhile. This was a taxing weekend with the AH. I am here just to refocus on me, so I am not going to say anymore about him in this post. This time of year is always taxing, but 2019 is proving to be doubly so. This past week I had many moments where I was walking through a st...
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Fedora
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14
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4245
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Time for a holiday break... [a ramble]...
(Preview)
This time I worked through Christmas and New Year- up on the mountain maintaining an old mining race- which is used, today, for irrigation. I know when to quit- unlike other times in my life. I am 68 now- and had a lifetime of strenuous work. I need to relax now; potter around and keep fit- and...
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DavidG
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2
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2330
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Taking those steps...
(Preview)
I am thinking of this idea, found in Courage To Change, for the 1st of April: ~awareness, acceptance, action~. And, looking back the cover steps 1 thru 3; steps 4 thru 9; and then steps 10, 11, and 12, together. Currently I am thinking of stepping into oldtimer territory, which means working th...
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DavidG
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1
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1715
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Courage to Change 12/19
(Preview)
Good morning MIP! Today's reading is a wonderful and timely reminder about self-care in recovery. As alcoholism is a three-fold disease - physical, emotional and spiritual - we need to check on our own well-being in these areas as we've been affected! The reading has a lovely checklist that I'll l...
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Iamhere
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3
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2418
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Courage to Change December 18
(Preview)
Hello MIP! In today's reading from C2C, the author reflects on a saying used in places where people depend on camels for transportation: "Trust in God and tie your camel to a tree." The author shares how vital it is to trust in our HP and to accept what HP chooses for us without resigning ourselves to ou...
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Skorpi
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7
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2542
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C2C 12-17
(Preview)
the C2C reading for today, 12-17 speaks about holding resentments. It points out that once we start feeling anger and resentment about an incident we must learn new ways of viewing the happening so as to let go of the negative feelings the reading suggests that instead of feeling the resentm...
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hotrod
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5
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1929
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New Here
(Preview)
I have been surfing the topics here and doing a ton of reading. I really like the format of this group and thought maybe I should introduce myself a bit. I am a mom of 4 and a wife of 24 years to an alcoholic. I have been working the program on my own (there are not many meetings near my home) since 2016. My AH wen...
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oddsunflower
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6
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2132
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C2C, 12.16
(Preview)
The reading for Monday, 12/16, is about what the author has learned in alanon: they are not responsible for everything and everyone. Some examples are: -You dont have to understand everything. -You may show your feelings. -One doesnt have to feel threatened by the future. -One doesnt have to feel...
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Lyne
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7
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427
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Gratitood...
(Preview)
Hi y'all... ... ... we live 50 mins away from a popular international resort. For that reason we sometimes had international AA or Alanon members speaking at our assemblies held there. [And, I expect some were also double winners! ] One speaker got up- and what a silver tongue! Mo...
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DavidG
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4
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730
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Hope for Today 12/15
(Preview)
Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about detachment, and what a difficult concept it can be, especially for those of us new to Alanon. As I was reading this page I was thinking that for those of us who have lived with and/or loved an alcoholic, this idea is difficult because so much of our energy h...
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yanksfan51
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6
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1328
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Hello and an Update
(Preview)
Hi MIP members! It's been awhile since I've visited the board, but it's great to see some familiar names still here and active. I am so grateful for all the gifts I've received from Al-Anon. And these gifts just keep on giving. I'm feel so much more happy and content in my continued recovery after losing...
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Green Eyes
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4
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2797
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Gaslighting- an ultimatum passed...
(Preview)
My SO used to gaslight me something horrible. Especially telling me I am angry- when she is. This time last year she had family over from Florida. We were 100 miles from home and she ordered me out of the truck- and left me there. She does this regularly- and I suspect it is a replay of how her FOO used to op...
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DavidG
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13
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2395
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ODAT 12/13
(Preview)
The December 13 reading in ODAT tells about a someone who came to Al-Anon in despair, really worked the program, made friends, gained serenity, and achieved a better life. Then it asks the question: Does this person have an obligation to the group, the fellowship, and to newcomers who need help? Th...
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Freetime
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3
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2833
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First things first...
(Preview)
One of the sixteen Alanon slogans- conference approved. I used to fear saying the wrong thing- that someone would jump down my throat. Because that was a predominant fear in my FOO. Had to be constantly on my guard. I try hard to stick to Alanon policy- and sometimes I try far too hard! Another slogan i...
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DavidG
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1
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2413
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Courage to Change 12/12
(Preview)
Good morning MIP family - happy day to one and all. Today's reading talks about how we can limit ourselves if/when we close our minds based on past experiences, relationships, patterns, habits, etc. The writer speaks from the Alateen perspective and shares doubt about Al-Anon adults, simply bec...
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Iamhere
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1
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1611
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it doesn't have to be sad...
(Preview)
I am kind of sad today. Letting go of people is not easy for me. I have a cousin who won't call me only write me letters via mail. Sometimes I just want to stop writing just to see what would happen. I love her dearly. I don't want to lose touch. When I started to write this post, I really didn't know what I'd say...
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Hoot Nanny
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5
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962
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Shifting sands often reveal ordinary things...
(Preview)
I like growing potatoes, tomatoes and asparagus. They are all three related- and grow naturally on sands behind the tide line. Because I live far inland, the dustbowl of 1878 created the sands and sand dunes here. So when I am on the coast I collect sea weed. I rot it in a barrel and apply it...
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DavidG
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4
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2669
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Still here--still blessed
(Preview)
Love to everybody! Made it though again--surgery and recovery went better; they believe me now that a little anesthetic goes a long way with me. Wasn't as perky when I got home, and have no complaints. I'll find out next week what the pathologists have found. Hope to be up to speed to drive Hubs home from...
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Temple
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5
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5028
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Courage to Change December 11
(Preview)
Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author reflects on the importance, or rather lack of importance, of money. The author shares that they had previously thought that their troubles would end if they won the lottery. But, would the lottery winnings take away the impact of alcoholism on the family? M...
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Skorpi
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4
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3196
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Expectations
(Preview)
Hi, I would like to share about expectations that I had versus reality. I am really struggling at the moment, with Christmas,quickly approaching. With the way it seems to be advertised,in Catalogues,etc. What it looks like it supposed to be. Family, closeness, happily ever after. Well, for me tha...
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WendyP
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15
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3386
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C2C Reading 12-10
(Preview)
the C2C reading for Dec. 10 speaks about having the courage to look closely at ourselves so as to see and admit our difficulties. The reading points out that often we focus all our attention on the alcoholic and do not see what we do that hurts us.. We will enjoy spiritual growth by practicing self h...
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hotrod
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4
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408
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Let Go and Let God
(Preview)
I'm curious what this slogan looks like for you. What does letting go and giving your will and life over to the care of your HP mean to you? Do you have any favorite passages from our CAL that sum this up for you perfectly? I'm going to be leading a meeting soon and thought I'd like to touch on the topic Let Go a...
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Aloha
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5
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1465
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C2C, 12/9
(Preview)
The reading for Monday, 12/9, reflects upon attraction rather than promotion as alanons public relations policy. We are asked to keep the focus on ourselves, and do our best to live this program one day at a time. We can try to demonstrate recovery to the best of our ability. By setting a good example...
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Lyne
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2
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360
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Step 12
(Preview)
https://stepwork.activeboard.com/t66118175/step-12-alanon-12-9/
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hotrod
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1
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447
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Struggling
(Preview)
Needto release as I am seriously loosing it. My boyfriend has been addicted off & on for many years he had been clean almost 11 months and relapsed. He said once he started to trying cope with life on normal terms he had slowly become more & more depressed. Said once he used he realized he never wa...
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amisfitlife
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4
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798
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Hope for Today Dec 8
(Preview)
Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about how tradition 5 can help transform resentment into compassion. As our program is about keeping the focus on ourselves, compassion starts with self as well. The writer describes being compassionate toward ourselves by working the steps and working...
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yanksfan51
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4
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714
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just another Thanksgiving & a reason to be grateful!
(Preview)
Today is 2 days before Thanksgiving & this year I kind of feel a little less grateful! I guess I have been projecting too much; I think about the future w/o children & not being able to have kids to take care of me in my old age. I am only 53. I guess I just don't feel comfortable. I am trying not to feel...
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Hoot Nanny
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7
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728
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A tough time- but hope...
(Preview)
Hi y'all... ... I have this personal rule- which I call 'the two call rule'... I might visit or call up to two times- but if there is no response after that- I find it it time to move on- fresh grazing... ...it applies to family too, really. The terms for me- "goody-two-shoes" and 'beating my head aga...
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DavidG
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9
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2097
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Courage to Change, 12/6 - Anger
(Preview)
Today's reading is about anger. The writer went through stages of first denying that they ever felt anger, then being able to recognize it when it was happening, then blaming their anger on the alcoholics and feeling worse than ever. Once they learned to bring the focus back to self, they could look a...
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Freetime
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4
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1075
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Courage to Change 12/5
(Preview)
Good morning MIP family. I love today's reading....it's about unconditional love, gratitude and letting go of fantasy/fairy tale thinking. The reminder: If I can't recognize the love that already exists in my life, would I really appreciate receiving more? Let me acknowledge what has alread...
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Iamhere
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1
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1636
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Enabling
(Preview)
I was wondering what your thoughts are on enabling. I had never really heard the term or understood it. I struggle at times with it. My sons disease has progressed over the last few years. Progressed in a way that looks like he has regressed back to being a teenager that's out of control. After 7 years in a...
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el-cee
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14
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2276
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Courage to Change December 4
(Preview)
Hello MIP! In today's reading from C2C, the author reflects on past decision making. Prior to AlAnon, many of us learned to make decisions based on our feelings, as if feelings were facts. Part of the author's Al-Anon recovery is learning that feelings are not facts. Humans are complex, fascinatin...
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Skorpi
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4
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441
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