The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have just been in a deep and intense family situation with my cousins and extended family.
I realise that Alanon has taught me good boundaries- "...let there be no gossip or criticism of each other... " ... ...
Chinese whispers can kill a family- lies and half truths. Even truths, if they are used in a mean or callous way.
I was thinking this morning how i deal with this in Alanon. If I know a member in common, say, Margaret X...
we do ask after here, and talk about her- sometimes- in a general sort of way. Like- how is M, getting on.
Then there is that arena- where we might have hear M. sharing which is a no go zone. If there is any stuff
needing discussed there it is absolutely with M. herself. A great test.
In my middle years in Alanon I was afraid to mention or discuss anything- in case I got something wrong.
Most likely a hangover from my FOO. Now I know the programme fairly well I am much more relaxed. Today I have a good idea about where the boundaries lie
But when push comes to shove- it is in the meetings, be they online or F2F. And I have the right to be wrong sometimes, and can take a hold of Step 10.
It is fairly easy to discern, these days where the boundaries are, and the freedom and pleasure we can experience within these, in my view.
I have a key cousin to whom I am close- and we are getting closer... that golden territory of emotional intimacy. Trust and respect.
Hi David-Gossip and criticism=bah, humbug! Learning good boundaries, go team go! Life lessons for all of us that take practice. Progress, not perfection for me. Lyne
David, I love reading about your journey of healing!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
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