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It's amazing how fast...
(Preview)
3 years of program work can disappear on me. I'm the one who made the decision to leave my AH. I'm the one who has chosen not to respond to correspondence since I ended joint counseling. I'm the one who made the mistake of responding to an I love you text that I received this Tuesday after finding out Sunday...
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Jackie11
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10
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739
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Back again...
(Preview)
Hello all again, last time I was here was in 2009 fast forward to 2014. Things have gotten worse this time the AH is sitting in jail as he has another DUI this time during work, the one thing i am so proud of myself I didnt move heaven and earth to bail him out..and when another family member was going to i stat...
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Aquastrm
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3
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374
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When you date someone who is a recovering from something
(Preview)
And they tell you I am an alcoholic or a recovering addict, why do they tell you? What are they really saying? " If you stick with me I may relapse, I may slip? Are you gonna stick with me and give me your all? Can you enable me? Why do they come forth and tell you who they are on the very first meeting or dat...
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LinSC
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10
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550
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saying sorry
(Preview)
When I lived with my ex ah I used to say sorry quite a lot. I took the blame quite a lot, usually to keep the peace or to end the silent treatment or sometimes because the guilt got the better out of me. I never really meant it. I never really believed I owed it not really. I always thought my bad behaviour or har...
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el-cee
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9
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571
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role models
(Preview)
I listened to a talk talk today by a real life explorer, he was amazing to listen to. He went to the south pole alone and he frequently goes to the north pole and hes like us, he has that spiritual thing going on that we have. It got me thinking that maybe its only through a really hard journey are we able to see...
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el-cee
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11
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383
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Scrambled Eggs
(Preview)
Hi everyone, been a bit since I have been here and I can tell you I notice the difference of relaxing in my recovery! Right now I feel like scrambled eggs for sure! I have my AH in a 3/4 way house who wants me to just go along with everything they do and say even if it doesn't feel right to me. So for example, he is...
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Flower49
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2
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370
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What do you do?
(Preview)
Hello all, Scanning the threads I see a lot of topics from folks who are in a place I remember being. I like where I am at and for me it is important to my recovery to not forget about where I have been least I forget what that path looks like and make choices that lead me back there. I know me and I know my form of t...
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Mandy123
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8
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494
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I am having a hard time right now in my life
(Preview)
I generally cycle into a funk at the end of October, 12 years ago it started with losing a pregnancy in my second trimester and the next day my dad died suddenly while we were on our way driving across country to live with him for a time until we got jobs lined up, but my exAH started drinking heavy with the...
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Breakingfree
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24
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786
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so good to get a break
(Preview)
I had a lovely three hours to myself without children. This doesn't happen often enough. I think its the fourth time in two years. Sometimes one or two of my little ducklings will be at daycare and that's half a break. But time completely alone,no pram to navigate,no toddler to chide for squealing in a p...
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aquamom23
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8
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417
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I am so angry And I want everyone to know the truth!!
(Preview)
Please help me have some self control. I see my AH talking with people on facebook and I want to spit. Ok, I'm going to just come out and say it. Maybe I already have, I don't remember. AH and I were coworkers. He got fired in March. I am still there, working at the same place and trying not to lose it!! Some da...
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Newlife girl
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7
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498
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What rewards did you get from the victim role?
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
This question was asked in my meeting tonight. I thought I would share it with you and see what you think.x
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el-cee
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44
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1641
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skipped 18 years of meetings
(Preview)
That's a lot of meetings to miss after ten years of alanon. It will be interesting to see how far astray I am as this disease tears it's ugly monster head at my son. My Dad was a 30 year AA member. He died on April 30 this year. I messed up with my son today. I fee terrible. I don't deserve help tonight, but I am so...
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eriegroupgirl
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10
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480
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lol
(Preview)
It's not even 24 hours and his brother is messaging me. OMG, we can't do this, we're getting married, we need our house back. He left here having drunk 1 bottle of wine, he bought 3, I guess he drank the rest on the way and at their house. I feel sad for him, I know how to handle him, but it isn't my job anymore. ...
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missmeliss
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17
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676
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I'M NOT JOKING!! I nearly got into a fight today
(Preview)
This is so unreal I go to goodwill to donate some clothing and i hear this "squeak squeak" sound and i know its an animal, most likely a dog and so i follow the sound...i find a dog in 77 degree weather, in the sun, locked in a black dodge caravan NO windows down, not even a crack and doggie sees...
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neshema2
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13
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549
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Also a little update about Michael Douglas
(Preview)
This will sound deranged but, Cat Lady reared her head again just as we were moving out. Michael Douglas escaped and didn't come back for a couple of days and I started recieving messages from Cat Lady again. It had been months since I had heard from her. I was so upset and so worried, but her messages were...
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missmeliss
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12
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374
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trying not to react
(Preview)
I received a phone call from a mutual friend of my ex today, she lives with his brother and she hadn't seen me in a while.She told me she saw my ex with an old girl friend the other day, I am thinking that was awful fast we just broke up.I want to call and give him a piece of my mind so bad but I am sure it would only...
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mjferg
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6
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447
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physical detachment / emotional detachment
(Preview)
Detachment is a very important tool in my Al-Anon tool box. I live with active alcoholism, so I use detachment often. However, until recently I was not discerning the difference between physical and emotional detachment. When my husband drinks, I do something that helps me think about me. I love t...
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cloudyskies
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6
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1162
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Such a change!
(Preview)
Hello all, I joined this forum around December last year when I was at Rock bottom with my BF drinking habits. Everyone was really fantastic and helped me through such a bad time but the one thing I kept hearing was try and find a local meeting. I didn't know if I had the nerve and was unsure if I would be abl...
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Hopingfor
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4
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327
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Heavy denial, about animals too
(Preview)
I have been lurking a bunch since posting midsummer. First I want to say how moved I DMV by the deep reservoir of patience, kindness and honesty some of the regulars demonstrate here to person after person!! Truly remarkable. I feel badly to take up people's time and then disappear. One reason is I usua...
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oceanpine
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4
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306
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Healthy Socializing?
(Preview)
Just wanted to share about this to work through some things. We went to a wedding yesterday. It was for the daughter of of one of my former coworkers. My recovering abf is trying to get more accustomed to being in the presence of alcohol and being ok with it. So we're seated with some strangers who were als...
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tiredtonite
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5
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460
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really need to get well
(Preview)
I went back to the doctors. The last one was dismissive,your stressed,stop it. Yeah,that's gonna happen. I've been attending meetings online, I need a sponsor,I'm praying. Today I found another quack,he was kindly. He prescribed meds. I feel upset but I also know this hsomething I sadly need for th...
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aquamom23
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7
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514
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The program sinks in
(Preview)
So I picked up a 6 year medallion at one of the groups I used to attend in my first year. Yes, it's AA, but it's still the 12 steps and the journey is not so different, as I was leaving an A at the same time and working on tremendous codependency issues also. In any case, the overwhelming feedback from all th...
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pinkchip
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21
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655
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Al-Anon helps me
(Preview)
I've been in Al-Anon just a little over 2 years. August was my birthday month. I just have to say, that the experience, strength and hope I get from the program and the people of the program are just great. It's a day at time but just for today it's a good day. I wanted to share what I shared at my meeting and to...
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alwaysLP13
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6
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4810
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new here..very new
(Preview)
Ive been on another site for 3 years..It was an infidelity site..Now our lives have shifted once again...ANd I no longer belong there...I have for the last 6 years, gone thru every emotion imagineable. Trying desperately to figure out why my marriage was falling apart. Why I no longer recognized my H...
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one and only
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9
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465
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Drama and flirting
(Preview)
Some days, like today, I find myself feeling angry towards everyone. I just get sick of the same things over and over. I am realizing my best friend and her issues with her son are driving me nuts. Long story short, he is almost 18 and under house arrest with an ankle bracelet for drug possession. He is t...
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Newlife girl
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4
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499
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Forgiveness
(Preview)
I am working on forgiveness for my dry ah. First i need to forgive myself for my own past sins then forgive my ah for his current sins of adultery. I need to do this to move on, i will forgive him and hand him over to the care of God To deal with Him.I can not sit in judgement of AH it is not my job. i am doing this...
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Mirandac
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16
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507
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Last ride on the crazy train. Oh by the way the man was nice but the lady is nicer.
(Preview)
Just to clarify, I assumed A was going to stay at his brothers when he moved his big furniture out. I didn't know he planned to come back, but I have no legal right whatsoever to have him leave, he's a joint tenant, I'm not sure exactly how people think I would prevent him from coming and going from a house h...
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missmeliss
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24
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834
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What I Know
(Preview)
There is a wisdom on this board that is given free with no attachments....this is a beautiful thing.
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LinSC
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4
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250
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OUR TENDENCY TO SELF-JUSTIFICATION
(Preview)
Made a searching and fearless inventory of ourselves......."Step 4"
The greatest fault of all is to be conscious of none. In the past we have, perhaps, lived with the conviction that we were "always" right. Our tendency to self-justification may stem fromt hat. This situation may become complic...
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gardengal
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10
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3732
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what to expect
(Preview)
Hello Everyone, I am a new member to this group. I have a few questions that I would greatly appreciate others feedback. First off, I am a single mother of 2 boys and have been single for about 3 years. A few months ago I began dating a guy who was upfront with me that he was a recovering addict. I thought...
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jmsas
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7
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530
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So Grateful for Today!!
(Preview)
Wow I don't even know long it has been since I posted!! I hope all is well in everyone's world......sending you all some light and love!!
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Truth
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5
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252
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Don't take this disease lightly...
(Preview)
Have been speaking with another one of us and listening; comparing notes and experiences part of which is the mental, emotional and physical side affects that event he non-drinker can suffer from directly related to "our part in it". The member caused me to inventory and remember wha...
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Jerry F
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10
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613
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He lost his phone and says it is my fault...
(Preview)
Apparently I did voodoo... Would be funny if it wasn't sad. He has lost many phones and wallets over the years..I used to get so upset. Today I don't care. It is not my problem if he needs to spend money to buy a new one. It is so good to be free! By this time, next Sunday, this home will be all mine and I will pro...
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Luiza
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6
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575
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My A partner slipped outside, gone to A+E ... maybe a step nearer rockbottom.
(Preview)
Hi Been a while since I've posted or been on here ... life still plodding along but I seem to have had a bit of clarity of thought. The relationship in my mind has changed a bit. I used to say to myself that I still love the person, hate the disease etc etc ... I'm not so sure now. I've been feeling resentful, no...
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jitsuka
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17
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712
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all is well and share about my A friend
(Preview)
Guts are better! Not as weak. Friends helped me get feed and grain. Pouring rain but we laughed a lot and had fun. They helped me bring it in. Then had a great lunch with my I love so much friend. Just had noodles, and splurged on the egg flower soup. I am a vegan but not radical. I needed that soup! (c: She is A b...
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Debilyn
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5
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480
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who wrote on a post about peace that passes understanding?
(Preview)
I just want to say to whomever wrote the post about the joy down in their heart & peace that passes understanding, thanks for bringing that up! It takes me back to when I was younger & we used to sing that song all the time. Right about now I need that peace. So much anxiety is passing through me that...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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289
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so today is supposedly the day
(Preview)
I had a long talk with AH last Friday. I calmly told him that even though I am no longer obsessing or talking (or nagging) about his drinking, I am still very concerned and not happy about it. I don't want to give him the impression that, just because I am learning how to cope more maturely with MY life, that...
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Fairlee
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8
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535
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for Cathy
(Preview)
I want to thank you Cathy for putting up the link you did for me. It really helped. I really like getting on my phone now that I know how to do it. You are a gem! Thank you too, for all the insight you have that you share on here. Kathleen
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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197
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Meltdown
(Preview)
I have not posted for a while so I thought I would talk about my meltdown. We moved to the Southern part of our state almost 5 months ago. Weather is gorgeous, clean air, no snow and we love it. I have not been to a F2F meeting in over 6 months either. I guess I thought going to the online meetings, reading...
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Jen61
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8
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461
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Seeking Sponsor
(Preview)
Hello all, first time post to the MIP board. I have visited here for a few months and attend the Sat am meetings on line. [Have missed the last 2 weeks and f2f are hard to attend] My work and family schedule keep me busy, throw in living in a rural area and well, here I am. I love that this outlet is here and I can...
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ToBeFree
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2
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413
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Grateful2be
(Preview)
Where is Catherine ( grateful2be ) Is she on vacation or something. Missing her..
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Cathyinaz
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28
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858
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Driver's Seat ..
(Preview)
I figured out last night I REALLY don't like being in the passenger's seat .. LOL! So my daughter is driving and bless her heart hasn't been getting a lot of driving time mostly because we are always in a hurry OR honestly the girl just isn't home. Yesterday I asked her drive us around .. I try to do it on t...
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SerenityRUS
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2
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409
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im just FINE
(Preview)
Friday was awful. I feel like a failure. Staring at a drunk bum on my couch, I could no more detach than I could grow wings and fly. Here it was,my opportunity to release all the anger,confusion,hurt. Oh its 6 in the morning,well who cares,this can't wait. I'm off. Its almost a blur. No need for details,t...
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aquamom23
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15
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904
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The After Al-Anon Side of Life
(Preview)
My mom had bladder removal surgery; her kids, four of them anyway, sat around a table in the waiting room playing pinochle and giggling like we always do; I'm sure some of the other people waiting thought we were horribly irreverent but it was our way of getting through it. She got through it, it took ove...
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likemyheart
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7
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473
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Withdrawing...
(Preview)
nicely. Ever been to a conference or service assembly? Then you know what I'm going thru. Our Fall Service assembly is about over. I'm home early cause I got an appointment that takes the last 3 hours off the assembly...yuk. I'm missing the goodbye stage...you know the hugs and the kisses and s...
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Jerry F
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3
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309
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merry go round called denial
(Preview)
i was introduced to this pamphlet tonight at my meeting. wow it really amazed me how ive played my part in the story. what did you think of this?
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el-cee
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17
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1229
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Introduction... Feeling confused
(Preview)
Hello, I'm new here, just reading and trying to figure things out. I'm very confused. My ABF of a year is currently sober after a being in rehab a few months ago but the honeymoon period is running out and I am starting to realise that he's a jerk when he's sober too. The last time my mother saw him until a few...
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Bombshall
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3
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327
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AW in Rehab
(Preview)
Hello! My wife is an alcoholic, and made the incredible decision to enter rehab, on her own, two weeks ago! We have four kids together (6, 8, 10, 12), and while the last two weeks with her in rehab have been kinda tough on all of us, it is still WAY better than the last year and a half of her drinking hard. I...
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MarkLH22
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6
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475
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Visitation ..
(Preview)
You know how someone is so unpredictable they are predictable? Well, I always can tell when my Ex is being coached .. and boy is he being coached .. unfortunately for him .. again .. he tells exactly the amount of truth to cause him more issues. He tried to put me in a position of stating something in text...
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SerenityRUS
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4
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518
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alcoholic children
(Preview)
Having a lot of difficulty coping with daughters alcohol abuse. I know I am not responsible raised her right in fact I feel rather resentful that I am having to even deal with this as put a huge amount of time and effort into parenting and now I feel cheated. I guess I had convinced myself that if I did all...
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serenity47
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6
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543
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mixed
(Preview)
I have been living apart from my ah for 4 yrs and about two weeks ago he seemed to decide that he wanted to come back. The week before this he had a really embarrassing incident as a result of his drinking on the football grandfinal day. I have been trying to understand why after 4 yrs of him living his life...
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lightblue2
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3
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335
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SUNDAY MORNING SPIRITUAL MEETING: 10 A.M. E.S.T. - "Seeing Events in a New Light"
(Preview)
Sunday Morning Meeting scheduled in the Al-Anon chat room. Topic: Chapter 3 of the Al-Anon book, "Having had a Spiritual Awakening". Or "Open Topic" related to Al-Anon. Today's reading: "Seeing Events in a New Light" I grew up in a family affected by alcoholism...
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Overcome
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0
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334
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feel like I am going down...
(Preview)
I have not been able to recover from a meeting I went to on Weds. I know that it was several days ago but I haven't been able to post on here how I feel. It is very hard to post on my smart phone even though I like it. So, a few times a week on get on this library computer. Anyhow, I had put too much pressure on myself...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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489
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Thoughts / ESH on my choices?
(Preview)
I have been separated from my A for more than a decade, but we have stayed technically married so he can be on my health insurance. He has various health conditions that made it impossible to get insurance here in the US (think stuff like diabetes which would count as a pre-existing condition). The de...
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Mattie
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15
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442
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Very proud of my daughter.
(Preview)
So, yesterday, Thursday is the busiest day for my daughter. She has school, then drama school then Brownies (a girl-guiding thing). I don't drive so we keep hoping on and off public transport and walking loads. Her A dad wasn't working yesterday so he said he would take her for all the after school stuf...
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Luiza
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9
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2972
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What is emotional detachment in a marriage?
(Preview)
I know that detachment is very important in Al-Anon. I physically detach by leaving the house when my AH drinks, go out with friends, go shopping or just stay in the house in another room reading, watching television, talking on the phone or cleaning and doing laundry. This is easy. However, where...
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wifeofalcoholic
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7
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1695
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want to get back to active board mobile. Does anyone know how to do it?
(Preview)
I have a smart phone & accidentally clicked on the site but I want to get back to mobile. It is so much easier to read on my phone. It was pretty simple to get on when I first did. I had a hard time trying to get back to where I can see the posts in a much easier to read format. I am on our library computer right n...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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177
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This disease makes sober people crazy!
(Preview)
Or so it seems. Older sister has two children, son is 47, daughter is 44. My sister and her husband worked responsible jobs all their lives until retirement. They are now in their seventies and 'would' and 'should' have had a comfortable life. The daughter is married and living abroad with her husb...
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deacon
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2
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505
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You're kidding.
(Preview)
He has done nothing. NOTHING for the last 2 weeks, he hasn't lifted a finger. The he got drunk and kept me awake for the last 2 days. I am so tired I am almost dead. Now my parents are due to arrive any minute and he's dancing around with a broom, come on Mel, what are you doing, your parents will be here soon! H...
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missmeliss
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10
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507
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New Eyes
(Preview)
Excuse me babbling a lot. Alone in the house, big final move tomorrow, SO much change. Its huge, and no-one to talk to except for the animals, and you good people. In the morning my parents come to take the last few things back to store in their garage...my washer and our mattresses and cookware etc, and t...
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missmeliss
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13
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569
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