Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

missmeliss · missmeliss

Just to clarify, I assumed A was going to stay at his brothers when he moved his big furniture out. I didn't know he planned to come back, but I have no legal right whatsoever to have him leave, he's a joint tenant, I'm not sure exactly how people think I would prevent him from coming and going from a house h...

LinSC · LinSC

There is a wisdom on this board that is given free with no attachments....this is a beautiful thing.

gardengal · gardengal

Made a searching and fearless inventory of ourselves......."Step 4" The greatest fault of all is to be conscious of none. In the past we have, perhaps, lived with the conviction that we were "always" right. Our tendency to self-justification may stem fromt hat. This situation may become complic...

jmsas · jmsas

Hello Everyone, I am a new member to this group. I have a few questions that I would greatly appreciate others feedback. First off, I am a single mother of 2 boys and have been single for about 3 years. A few months ago I began dating a guy who was upfront with me that he was a recovering addict. I thought...

Truth · Truth

Wow I don't even know long it has been since I posted!! I hope all is well in everyone's world......sending you all some light and love!!

Jerry F · Jerry F

Have been speaking with another one of us and listening; comparing notes and experiences part of which is the mental, emotional and physical side affects that event he non-drinker can suffer from directly related to "our part in it". The member caused me to inventory and remember wha...

Luiza · Luiza

Apparently I did voodoo... Would be funny if it wasn't sad. He has lost many phones and wallets over the years..I used to get so upset. Today I don't care. It is not my problem if he needs to spend money to buy a new one. It is so good to be free! By this time, next Sunday, this home will be all mine and I will pro...

jitsuka · jitsuka

Hi Been a while since I've posted or been on here ... life still plodding along but I seem to have had a bit of clarity of thought. The relationship in my mind has changed a bit. I used to say to myself that I still love the person, hate the disease etc etc ... I'm not so sure now. I've been feeling resentful, no...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Guts are better! Not as weak. Friends helped me get feed and grain. Pouring rain but we laughed a lot and had fun. They helped me bring it in. Then had a great lunch with my I love so much friend. Just had noodles, and splurged on the egg flower soup. I am a vegan but not radical. I needed that soup! (c: She is A b...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I just want to say to whomever wrote the post about the joy down in their heart & peace that passes understanding, thanks for bringing that up! It takes me back to when I was younger & we used to sing that song all the time. Right about now I need that peace. So much anxiety is passing through me that...

Fairlee · Fairlee

I had a long talk with AH last Friday. I calmly told him that even though I am no longer obsessing or talking (or nagging) about his drinking, I am still very concerned and not happy about it. I don't want to give him the impression that, just because I am learning how to cope more maturely with MY life, that...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I want to thank you Cathy for putting up the link you did for me. It really helped. I really like getting on my phone now that I know how to do it. You are a gem! Thank you too, for all the insight you have that you share on here. Kathleen

Jen61 · Jen61

I have not posted for a while so I thought I would talk about my meltdown. We moved to the Southern part of our state almost 5 months ago. Weather is gorgeous, clean air, no snow and we love it. I have not been to a F2F meeting in over 6 months either. I guess I thought going to the online meetings, reading...

ToBeFree · ToBeFree

Hello all, first time post to the MIP board. I have visited here for a few months and attend the Sat am meetings on line. [Have missed the last 2 weeks and f2f are hard to attend] My work and family schedule keep me busy, throw in living in a rural area and well, here I am. I love that this outlet is here and I can...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Where is Catherine ( grateful2be ) Is she on vacation or something. Missing her..

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I figured out last night I REALLY don't like being in the passenger's seat .. LOL! So my daughter is driving and bless her heart hasn't been getting a lot of driving time mostly because we are always in a hurry OR honestly the girl just isn't home. Yesterday I asked her drive us around .. I try to do it on t...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

Friday was awful. I feel like a failure. Staring at a drunk bum on my couch, I could no more detach than I could grow wings and fly. Here it was,my opportunity to release all the anger,confusion,hurt. Oh its 6 in the morning,well who cares,this can't wait. I'm off. Its almost a blur. No need for details,t...

likemyheart · likemyheart

My mom had bladder removal surgery; her kids, four of them anyway, sat around a table in the waiting room playing pinochle and giggling like we always do; I'm sure some of the other people waiting thought we were horribly irreverent but it was our way of getting through it. She got through it, it took ove...

Jerry F · Jerry F

nicely. Ever been to a conference or service assembly? Then you know what I'm going thru. Our Fall Service assembly is about over. I'm home early cause I got an appointment that takes the last 3 hours off the assembly...yuk. I'm missing the goodbye stage...you know the hugs and the kisses and s...

el-cee · el-cee

i was introduced to this pamphlet tonight at my meeting. wow it really amazed me how ive played my part in the story. what did you think of this?

Bombshall · Bombshall

Hello, I'm new here, just reading and trying to figure things out. I'm very confused. My ABF of a year is currently sober after a being in rehab a few months ago but the honeymoon period is running out and I am starting to realise that he's a jerk when he's sober too. The last time my mother saw him until a few...

MarkLH22 · MarkLH22

Hello! My wife is an alcoholic, and made the incredible decision to enter rehab, on her own, two weeks ago! We have four kids together (6, 8, 10, 12), and while the last two weeks with her in rehab have been kinda tough on all of us, it is still WAY better than the last year and a half of her drinking hard. I...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

You know how someone is so unpredictable they are predictable? Well, I always can tell when my Ex is being coached .. and boy is he being coached .. unfortunately for him .. again .. he tells exactly the amount of truth to cause him more issues. He tried to put me in a position of stating something in text...

serenity47 · serenity47

Having a lot of difficulty coping with daughters alcohol abuse. I know I am not responsible raised her right in fact I feel rather resentful that I am having to even deal with this as put a huge amount of time and effort into parenting and now I feel cheated. I guess I had convinced myself that if I did all...

lightblue2 · lightblue2

I have been living apart from my ah for 4 yrs and about two weeks ago he seemed to decide that he wanted to come back. The week before this he had a really embarrassing incident as a result of his drinking on the football grandfinal day. I have been trying to understand why after 4 yrs of him living his life...

Overcome · Overcome

Sunday Morning Meeting scheduled in the Al-Anon chat room. Topic: Chapter 3 of the Al-Anon book, "Having had a Spiritual Awakening". Or "Open Topic" related to Al-Anon. Today's reading: "Seeing Events in a New Light" I grew up in a family affected by alcoholism...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have not been able to recover from a meeting I went to on Weds. I know that it was several days ago but I haven't been able to post on here how I feel. It is very hard to post on my smart phone even though I like it. So, a few times a week on get on this library computer. Anyhow, I had put too much pressure on myself...

Mattie · Mattie

I have been separated from my A for more than a decade, but we have stayed technically married so he can be on my health insurance. He has various health conditions that made it impossible to get insurance here in the US (think stuff like diabetes which would count as a pre-existing condition). The de...

Luiza · Luiza

So, yesterday, Thursday is the busiest day for my daughter. She has school, then drama school then Brownies (a girl-guiding thing). I don't drive so we keep hoping on and off public transport and walking loads. Her A dad wasn't working yesterday so he said he would take her for all the after school stuf...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

I know that detachment is very important in Al-Anon. I physically detach by leaving the house when my AH drinks, go out with friends, go shopping or just stay in the house in another room reading, watching television, talking on the phone or cleaning and doing laundry. This is easy. However, where...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have a smart phone & accidentally clicked on the site but I want to get back to mobile. It is so much easier to read on my phone. It was pretty simple to get on when I first did. I had a hard time trying to get back to where I can see the posts in a much easier to read format. I am on our library computer right n...

deacon · deacon

Or so it seems. Older sister has two children, son is 47, daughter is 44. My sister and her husband worked responsible jobs all their lives until retirement. They are now in their seventies and 'would' and 'should' have had a comfortable life. The daughter is married and living abroad with her husb...

missmeliss · missmeliss

He has done nothing. NOTHING for the last 2 weeks, he hasn't lifted a finger. The he got drunk and kept me awake for the last 2 days. I am so tired I am almost dead. Now my parents are due to arrive any minute and he's dancing around with a broom, come on Mel, what are you doing, your parents will be here soon! H...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Excuse me babbling a lot. Alone in the house, big final move tomorrow, SO much change. Its huge, and no-one to talk to except for the animals, and you good people. In the morning my parents come to take the last few things back to store in their garage...my washer and our mattresses and cookware etc, and t...

neshema2 · neshema2

A few years ago, i wold have bailed on this job and not looked back.... Today i had to go in and teach wife how to do some stuff w/her payables and how to do payroll liability payments correctly.....She is good learner and absorbed my teaching and we got a LOT of stuff done...I had her chasing down vendor in...

Sallygcoe · Sallygcoe

Today I realized how important it is for me to detach. Tonight after getting home from a long dat at the hospital with my 82 yr. old mother, I came home to find that my 30 yr. old A son had helped himself to the vodka in our pantry. He does not live with us but knows where the key is. Be fore al-anon I would have p...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

My best friend is having a mammogram tomorrow due to possible breast cancer. She is going through a lot with her teenage son too...she is really stressed out. I watched her daughter tonight while she worked. She has been there for me for many years and encouraged me to leave AH. I am praying her mammogra...

Aloha · Aloha

https://celebrity.yahoo.com/blogs/celeb-news/alcoholism-contributed-to-elizabeth-pe%C3%B1a-s-d...

mjferg · mjferg

I am new here,Just starting my journey.Life became unbearable so i decided to go to therapy and my therapist suggested alanon.I have gone to three meetings and it is good to know I am not alone.I have decided not to take my ex back this time as it is always the same ,there are promises to get help but always...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Tomorrow is my last day at work. My boss is coming in from another office to take me out to lunch. She told me to invite whoever I wanted to come along. I gathered quite a few people - mostly people in the same sort of position as myself. My old boss adjusted her appointments to come and one of my old teammate...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

Last night AH came home under the influence. I asked him where he went after work and he said no where. I said I smell alcohol on you and I know by your behavior after all these years that you were drinking. He responded with No, No, No. Finally he told me where he went and what he drank. I told him I was cal...

iwishuheaven · iwishuheaven

Last night was my first Al-anon meeting :) It was scary at first. when I pulled into the parking lot, I sat in the car for a couple of minutes with butterflies in my stomach. I almost passed when it came to my turn to introduce myself. It felt good to get it out to peers that are living the same thing I am and t...

Lake · Lake

Hello friends, Nice to find this site. Over 30 years ago when I was 14 my mother married a man with 5 and 8 year old girls. They have lived happily ever after....except for relationships with his children, one of whom started drinking at 12 and is stage 4 alcoholic close to death multiple times. She has 8 y...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

After attending a F2F meeting this week that I hadn't been to in a while and realizing how far I have come in my 5+ years of Al-Anon, I looked back on some of my previous posts on this board. This one is from April 2012. Wow, I'm so grateful to have this program. I hope this post will be helpful to some of you who...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

I was taught many years ago that control was a response to feeling powerless. Enter steps one to seven. Its pretty hard sometimes to work steps 3 and 6 when you are a raging control freak. I am resisting the urge to hurt myself by playing spy. Gee this is hard! Old habits become entrenched relatively quic...

Debb · Debb

Want to thank you all at MIP, Al-Anon and the 12 step program and relate some really good progress due to all the help provided to me through your generosity!! Have recently stood up for myself when I told AH that his verbal abuse was unacceptable and that going forward an apology would be necessary if h...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I feel like an absolute failure this morning. I feel like I flushed everything I have learn in Al-Anon down the toilet last night. My ah drank yesterday. He came home and went to bed. No arguments, no anything. Nothing unusual. I knew I needed to get away from the house for a while, so my mom and I went sho...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I am making progress with detaching from my AH. After seeing that nasty website stuff, it has actually helped me detach even more. I am able to ignore stuff he says or texts to me. I don't find myself getting upset as much as I used to. I have to live in the here and now. he and I both mad a mistake by getting mar...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

A friend of mine's daughter and granddaughter were killed in a car accident this morning. Second granddaughter is in the hospital in critical condition. They were hit by a traitor trailer truck. I cannot even begin to imagine or understand the pain my friend is in. My heart aches for her. My problems...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

aargh the damn eggshells and cobwebs of this existence. Since beginning alanon (again!) this stupid ridiculous dis-ease hovers like a gathering cloud. I explained to the ah that doing nuts does not become me,and mrs doesn't stand for Mother Replacement System. I didn't want to explain anything bu...

neshema2 · neshema2

I have this ANGER , over having to stay till i find another job, putting up w/abuse....I am soo angry that i have to "take it" till i can leave......I just can't leave $200 minimum a month , can't do it no matter how i try to work budget, so here i am , knowing I must, i am willing to give up to send awa...

hotrod · hotrod

STEP 6 HAS BEEN POSTED TO THE STEP BOARD--PLEASE JOIN AND SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t58...

neshema2 · neshema2

I sure know how to pick them.... I have my Friday boss who think you are NOT a parent if you adopt (i inherited this article when his dad whom i love decided to hand the reins over to the sons) but at least the guy isn't a psycho my Wednesday client is a LOVE...but totally irresponsible and his off. mgr. a...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I put an add on the supermarket noticeboard a while ago, mum kid and pets seeking a place etc because, you never know. I never did hear a word from anyone until this morning, a man called me to say he has a place and would I like to come and see it. Well I'm not going to get all excited, because, you know. But I'l...

el-cee · el-cee

Step 3 is a hard one. Easy to say, give your will over to the care of god as you understand him. My will is annoying me, its everywhere, im seeing my will in action more and more. In conversations, when I think im being funny and jokey, my will, im wanting attention or self gratification. In most conversat...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So you start a job on 10/20 when do you think his 90 days are up for probation? I know a weird question if you only knew the answer he gave me and told me to learn to do my math .. OMGOSH .. what a MORON!! It's hurting my son because this is all about the fact he can't play basketball now and I'm just furious .. I'm...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Things are going really well in so many areas, but with my busy life, school, work, kids and now a boyfriend I try to see once a week, my lack of time I am noticing things happening with my 16 year old, lack of communication and with my 6 year old behaviorally acting out at school and boys and girls club...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I appreciate those who helped me thru this dilemma. It came down too I am way too stressed from the tenants. I have done all I can do. It may be they have to leave. Then my renting my pasture is not settled. And now my 4 H people cannot find calfs to raise yet. so she may not rent. I talked to my son who told me to t...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I am admitting something that is causing me a lot of pain. Whenever I feel sad and lonely I go to a website my AH posts on...to wake me up to the reality of how sick he really is. I just finished looking at some very disturbing images he posted. It's a site where anything goes...and people are really sick. Th...

el-cee · el-cee

I feel as if my home meetings are getting a bit stale. We have different speakers sharing on different topics, we have occasional workshops, we use different booklets but I would like to try something different. Any ideas?

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Last ride on the crazy train. Oh by the way the man was nice but the lady is nicer. (Preview) Just to clarify, I assumed A was going to stay at his brothers when he moved his big furniture out. I didn't know he planned to come back, but I have no legal right whatsoever to have him leave, he's a joint tenant, I'm not sure exactly how people think I would prevent him from coming and going from a house h...	missmeliss	24	825	Oct 28, 2014 by Sweet Stanley
	What I Know (Preview) There is a wisdom on this board that is given free with no attachments....this is a beautiful thing.	LinSC	4	241	Oct 28, 2014 by cloudyskies
	OUR TENDENCY TO SELF-JUSTIFICATION (Preview) Made a searching and fearless inventory of ourselves......."Step 4" The greatest fault of all is to be conscious of none. In the past we have, perhaps, lived with the conviction that we were "always" right. Our tendency to self-justification may stem fromt hat. This situation may become complic...	gardengal	10	3515	Oct 28, 2014 by neshema2
	what to expect (Preview) Hello Everyone, I am a new member to this group. I have a few questions that I would greatly appreciate others feedback. First off, I am a single mother of 2 boys and have been single for about 3 years. A few months ago I began dating a guy who was upfront with me that he was a recovering addict. I thought...	jmsas	7	521	Oct 28, 2014 by Mattie
	So Grateful for Today!! (Preview) Wow I don't even know long it has been since I posted!! I hope all is well in everyone's world......sending you all some light and love!!	Truth	5	241	Oct 28, 2014 by andromeda
	Don't take this disease lightly... (Preview) Have been speaking with another one of us and listening; comparing notes and experiences part of which is the mental, emotional and physical side affects that event he non-drinker can suffer from directly related to "our part in it". The member caused me to inventory and remember wha...	Jerry F	10	602	Oct 28, 2014 by Flower49
	He lost his phone and says it is my fault... (Preview) Apparently I did voodoo... Would be funny if it wasn't sad. He has lost many phones and wallets over the years..I used to get so upset. Today I don't care. It is not my problem if he needs to spend money to buy a new one. It is so good to be free! By this time, next Sunday, this home will be all mine and I will pro...	Luiza	6	560	Oct 28, 2014 by jitsuka
	My A partner slipped outside, gone to A+E ... maybe a step nearer rockbottom. (Preview) Hi Been a while since I've posted or been on here ... life still plodding along but I seem to have had a bit of clarity of thought. The relationship in my mind has changed a bit. I used to say to myself that I still love the person, hate the disease etc etc ... I'm not so sure now. I've been feeling resentful, no...	jitsuka	17	701	Oct 28, 2014 by jitsuka
	all is well and share about my A friend (Preview) Guts are better! Not as weak. Friends helped me get feed and grain. Pouring rain but we laughed a lot and had fun. They helped me bring it in. Then had a great lunch with my I love so much friend. Just had noodles, and splurged on the egg flower soup. I am a vegan but not radical. I needed that soup! (c: She is A b...	Debilyn	5	469	Oct 27, 2014 by bud
	who wrote on a post about peace that passes understanding? (Preview) I just want to say to whomever wrote the post about the joy down in their heart & peace that passes understanding, thanks for bringing that up! It takes me back to when I was younger & we used to sing that song all the time. Right about now I need that peace. So much anxiety is passing through me that...	Hoot Nanny	3	281	Oct 27, 2014 by LinSC
	so today is supposedly the day (Preview) I had a long talk with AH last Friday. I calmly told him that even though I am no longer obsessing or talking (or nagging) about his drinking, I am still very concerned and not happy about it. I don't want to give him the impression that, just because I am learning how to cope more maturely with MY life, that...	Fairlee	8	524	Oct 27, 2014 by bud
	for Cathy (Preview) I want to thank you Cathy for putting up the link you did for me. It really helped. I really like getting on my phone now that I know how to do it. You are a gem! Thank you too, for all the insight you have that you share on here. Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	1	182	Oct 27, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Meltdown (Preview) I have not posted for a while so I thought I would talk about my meltdown. We moved to the Southern part of our state almost 5 months ago. Weather is gorgeous, clean air, no snow and we love it. I have not been to a F2F meeting in over 6 months either. I guess I thought going to the online meetings, reading...	Jen61	8	450	Oct 27, 2014 by bud
	Seeking Sponsor (Preview) Hello all, first time post to the MIP board. I have visited here for a few months and attend the Sat am meetings on line. [Have missed the last 2 weeks and f2f are hard to attend] My work and family schedule keep me busy, throw in living in a rural area and well, here I am. I love that this outlet is here and I can...	ToBeFree	2	403	Oct 27, 2014 by Cindy2b
	Grateful2be (Preview) Where is Catherine ( grateful2be ) Is she on vacation or something. Missing her..	Cathyinaz	28	846	Oct 27, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Driver's Seat .. (Preview) I figured out last night I REALLY don't like being in the passenger's seat .. LOL! So my daughter is driving and bless her heart hasn't been getting a lot of driving time mostly because we are always in a hurry OR honestly the girl just isn't home. Yesterday I asked her drive us around .. I try to do it on t...	SerenityRUS	2	400	Oct 27, 2014 by Fairlee
	im just FINE (Preview) Friday was awful. I feel like a failure. Staring at a drunk bum on my couch, I could no more detach than I could grow wings and fly. Here it was,my opportunity to release all the anger,confusion,hurt. Oh its 6 in the morning,well who cares,this can't wait. I'm off. Its almost a blur. No need for details,t...	aquamom23	15	894	Oct 27, 2014 by Fairlee
	The After Al-Anon Side of Life (Preview) My mom had bladder removal surgery; her kids, four of them anyway, sat around a table in the waiting room playing pinochle and giggling like we always do; I'm sure some of the other people waiting thought we were horribly irreverent but it was our way of getting through it. She got through it, it took ove...	likemyheart	7	462	Oct 27, 2014 by Fairlee
	Withdrawing... (Preview) nicely. Ever been to a conference or service assembly? Then you know what I'm going thru. Our Fall Service assembly is about over. I'm home early cause I got an appointment that takes the last 3 hours off the assembly...yuk. I'm missing the goodbye stage...you know the hugs and the kisses and s...	Jerry F	3	298	Oct 26, 2014 by andromeda
	merry go round called denial (Preview) i was introduced to this pamphlet tonight at my meeting. wow it really amazed me how ive played my part in the story. what did you think of this?	el-cee	17	1217	Oct 26, 2014 by Jerry F
	Introduction... Feeling confused (Preview) Hello, I'm new here, just reading and trying to figure things out. I'm very confused. My ABF of a year is currently sober after a being in rehab a few months ago but the honeymoon period is running out and I am starting to realise that he's a jerk when he's sober too. The last time my mother saw him until a few...	Bombshall	3	315	Oct 26, 2014 by Bombshall
	AW in Rehab (Preview) Hello! My wife is an alcoholic, and made the incredible decision to enter rehab, on her own, two weeks ago! We have four kids together (6, 8, 10, 12), and while the last two weeks with her in rehab have been kinda tough on all of us, it is still WAY better than the last year and a half of her drinking hard. I...	MarkLH22	6	470	Oct 26, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Visitation .. (Preview) You know how someone is so unpredictable they are predictable? Well, I always can tell when my Ex is being coached .. and boy is he being coached .. unfortunately for him .. again .. he tells exactly the amount of truth to cause him more issues. He tried to put me in a position of stating something in text...	SerenityRUS	4	507	Oct 26, 2014 by PP
	alcoholic children (Preview) Having a lot of difficulty coping with daughters alcohol abuse. I know I am not responsible raised her right in fact I feel rather resentful that I am having to even deal with this as put a huge amount of time and effort into parenting and now I feel cheated. I guess I had convinced myself that if I did all...	serenity47	6	535	Oct 26, 2014 by serenity47
	mixed (Preview) I have been living apart from my ah for 4 yrs and about two weeks ago he seemed to decide that he wanted to come back. The week before this he had a really embarrassing incident as a result of his drinking on the football grandfinal day. I have been trying to understand why after 4 yrs of him living his life...	lightblue2	3	326	Oct 26, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	SUNDAY MORNING SPIRITUAL MEETING: 10 A.M. E.S.T. - "Seeing Events in a New Light" (Preview) Sunday Morning Meeting scheduled in the Al-Anon chat room. Topic: Chapter 3 of the Al-Anon book, "Having had a Spiritual Awakening". Or "Open Topic" related to Al-Anon. Today's reading: "Seeing Events in a New Light" I grew up in a family affected by alcoholism...	Overcome	0	323	Oct 26, 2014 by Overcome
	feel like I am going down... (Preview) I have not been able to recover from a meeting I went to on Weds. I know that it was several days ago but I haven't been able to post on here how I feel. It is very hard to post on my smart phone even though I like it. So, a few times a week on get on this library computer. Anyhow, I had put too much pressure on myself...	Hoot Nanny	2	476	Oct 25, 2014 by hotrod
	Thoughts / ESH on my choices? (Preview) I have been separated from my A for more than a decade, but we have stayed technically married so he can be on my health insurance. He has various health conditions that made it impossible to get insurance here in the US (think stuff like diabetes which would count as a pre-existing condition). The de...	Mattie	15	432	Oct 25, 2014 by bud
	Very proud of my daughter. (Preview) So, yesterday, Thursday is the busiest day for my daughter. She has school, then drama school then Brownies (a girl-guiding thing). I don't drive so we keep hoping on and off public transport and walking loads. Her A dad wasn't working yesterday so he said he would take her for all the after school stuf...	Luiza	9	2749	Oct 25, 2014 by PP
	What is emotional detachment in a marriage? (Preview) I know that detachment is very important in Al-Anon. I physically detach by leaving the house when my AH drinks, go out with friends, go shopping or just stay in the house in another room reading, watching television, talking on the phone or cleaning and doing laundry. This is easy. However, where...	wifeofalcoholic	7	1678	Oct 25, 2014 by Lyne
	want to get back to active board mobile. Does anyone know how to do it? (Preview) I have a smart phone & accidentally clicked on the site but I want to get back to mobile. It is so much easier to read on my phone. It was pretty simple to get on when I first did. I had a hard time trying to get back to where I can see the posts in a much easier to read format. I am on our library computer right n...	Hoot Nanny	2	169	Oct 25, 2014 by Hoot Nanny
	This disease makes sober people crazy! (Preview) Or so it seems. Older sister has two children, son is 47, daughter is 44. My sister and her husband worked responsible jobs all their lives until retirement. They are now in their seventies and 'would' and 'should' have had a comfortable life. The daughter is married and living abroad with her husb...	deacon	2	494	Oct 25, 2014 by hotrod
	You're kidding. (Preview) He has done nothing. NOTHING for the last 2 weeks, he hasn't lifted a finger. The he got drunk and kept me awake for the last 2 days. I am so tired I am almost dead. Now my parents are due to arrive any minute and he's dancing around with a broom, come on Mel, what are you doing, your parents will be here soon! H...	missmeliss	10	496	Oct 25, 2014 by milkwood
	New Eyes (Preview) Excuse me babbling a lot. Alone in the house, big final move tomorrow, SO much change. Its huge, and no-one to talk to except for the animals, and you good people. In the morning my parents come to take the last few things back to store in their garage...my washer and our mattresses and cookware etc, and t...	missmeliss	13	555	Oct 25, 2014 by hotrod
	The power of communication (Preview) A few years ago, i wold have bailed on this job and not looked back.... Today i had to go in and teach wife how to do some stuff w/her payables and how to do payroll liability payments correctly.....She is good learner and absorbed my teaching and we got a LOT of stuff done...I had her chasing down vendor in...	neshema2	3	453	Oct 25, 2014 by neshema2
	Detachment is a must (Preview) Today I realized how important it is for me to detach. Tonight after getting home from a long dat at the hospital with my 82 yr. old mother, I came home to find that my 30 yr. old A son had helped himself to the vodka in our pantry. He does not live with us but knows where the key is. Be fore al-anon I would have p...	Sallygcoe	4	334	Oct 25, 2014 by pinkchip
	Worried about my friend...prayers needed (Preview) My best friend is having a mammogram tomorrow due to possible breast cancer. She is going through a lot with her teenage son too...she is really stressed out. I watched her daughter tonight while she worked. She has been there for me for many years and encouraged me to leave AH. I am praying her mammogra...	Newlife girl	5	236	Oct 25, 2014 by Green Eyes
	Media reporting alcoholism as the cause of a celebrity death (Preview) https://celebrity.yahoo.com/blogs/celeb-news/alcoholism-contributed-to-elizabeth-pe%C3%B1a-s-d...	Aloha	6	435	Oct 24, 2014 by Hoot Nanny
	new to alanon (Preview) I am new here,Just starting my journey.Life became unbearable so i decided to go to therapy and my therapist suggested alanon.I have gone to three meetings and it is good to know I am not alone.I have decided not to take my ex back this time as it is always the same ,there are promises to get help but always...	mjferg	12	658	Oct 24, 2014 by mjferg
	Feeling Really Stupid (Preview) Tomorrow is my last day at work. My boss is coming in from another office to take me out to lunch. She told me to invite whoever I wanted to come along. I gathered quite a few people - mostly people in the same sort of position as myself. My old boss adjusted her appointments to come and one of my old teammate...	tiredtonite	8	638	Oct 24, 2014 by tiredtonite
	Called my husband's Sponsor (Preview) Last night AH came home under the influence. I asked him where he went after work and he said no where. I said I smell alcohol on you and I know by your behavior after all these years that you were drinking. He responded with No, No, No. Finally he told me where he went and what he drank. I told him I was cal...	wifeofalcoholic	5	526	Oct 24, 2014 by Jerry F
	First Al-anon meeting last night (Preview) Last night was my first Al-anon meeting :) It was scary at first. when I pulled into the parking lot, I sat in the car for a couple of minutes with butterflies in my stomach. I almost passed when it came to my turn to introduce myself. It felt good to get it out to peers that are living the same thing I am and t...	iwishuheaven	3	240	Oct 24, 2014 by milkwood
	Want to disown stepsister and her son without disowning my mother (Preview) Hello friends, Nice to find this site. Over 30 years ago when I was 14 my mother married a man with 5 and 8 year old girls. They have lived happily ever after....except for relationships with his children, one of whom started drinking at 12 and is stage 4 alcoholic close to death multiple times. She has 8 y...	Lake	9	436	Oct 24, 2014 by lgnutah
	Looking Back on My Journey (Preview) After attending a F2F meeting this week that I hadn't been to in a while and realizing how far I have come in my 5+ years of Al-Anon, I looked back on some of my previous posts on this board. This one is from April 2012. Wow, I'm so grateful to have this program. I hope this post will be helpful to some of you who...	Green Eyes	3	614	Oct 24, 2014 by el-cee
	control (Preview) I was taught many years ago that control was a response to feeling powerless. Enter steps one to seven. Its pretty hard sometimes to work steps 3 and 6 when you are a raging control freak. I am resisting the urge to hurt myself by playing spy. Gee this is hard! Old habits become entrenched relatively quic...	aquamom23	5	539	Oct 23, 2014 by aquamom23
	Am Exercising My Boundaries (Preview) Want to thank you all at MIP, Al-Anon and the 12 step program and relate some really good progress due to all the help provided to me through your generosity!! Have recently stood up for myself when I told AH that his verbal abuse was unacceptable and that going forward an apology would be necessary if h...	Debb	8	520	Oct 23, 2014 by Debb
	I relasped last night. (Preview) I feel like an absolute failure this morning. I feel like I flushed everything I have learn in Al-Anon down the toilet last night. My ah drank yesterday. He came home and went to bed. No arguments, no anything. Nothing unusual. I knew I needed to get away from the house for a while, so my mom and I went sho...	cloudyskies	25	685	Oct 23, 2014 by cloudyskies
	I'm getting it...finally (Preview) I am making progress with detaching from my AH. After seeing that nasty website stuff, it has actually helped me detach even more. I am able to ignore stuff he says or texts to me. I don't find myself getting upset as much as I used to. I have to live in the here and now. he and I both mad a mistake by getting mar...	Newlife girl	10	635	Oct 23, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	please pray for my friend (Preview) A friend of mine's daughter and granddaughter were killed in a car accident this morning. Second granddaughter is in the hospital in critical condition. They were hit by a traitor trailer truck. I cannot even begin to imagine or understand the pain my friend is in. My heart aches for her. My problems...	cloudyskies	8	313	Oct 23, 2014 by cloudyskies
	dry drunk,coda funk. (Preview) aargh the damn eggshells and cobwebs of this existence. Since beginning alanon (again!) this stupid ridiculous dis-ease hovers like a gathering cloud. I explained to the ah that doing nuts does not become me,and mrs doesn't stand for Mother Replacement System. I didn't want to explain anything bu...	aquamom23	12	765	Oct 23, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	update to workplace abuse (to ANY body who has to "defer" their escape) (Preview) I have this ANGER , over having to stay till i find another job, putting up w/abuse....I am soo angry that i have to "take it" till i can leave......I just can't leave $200 minimum a month , can't do it no matter how i try to work budget, so here i am , knowing I must, i am willing to give up to send awa...	neshema2	3	438	Oct 23, 2014 by el-cee
	STEP 6 (Preview) STEP 6 HAS BEEN POSTED TO THE STEP BOARD--PLEASE JOIN AND SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t58...	hotrod	0	165	Oct 23, 2014 by hotrod
	Abuse at the workplace (Preview) I sure know how to pick them.... I have my Friday boss who think you are NOT a parent if you adopt (i inherited this article when his dad whom i love decided to hand the reins over to the sons) but at least the guy isn't a psycho my Wednesday client is a LOVE...but totally irresponsible and his off. mgr. a...	neshema2	9	626	Oct 23, 2014 by neshema2
	Lol. (Preview) I put an add on the supermarket noticeboard a while ago, mum kid and pets seeking a place etc because, you never know. I never did hear a word from anyone until this morning, a man called me to say he has a place and would I like to come and see it. Well I'm not going to get all excited, because, you know. But I'l...	missmeliss	12	542	Oct 23, 2014 by Breakingfree
	battle of wills (Preview) Step 3 is a hard one. Easy to say, give your will over to the care of god as you understand him. My will is annoying me, its everywhere, im seeing my will in action more and more. In conversations, when I think im being funny and jokey, my will, im wanting attention or self gratification. In most conversat...	el-cee	4	309	Oct 23, 2014 by Breakingfree
	OT - What does 90 day probationary period mean to you .. (Preview) So you start a job on 10/20 when do you think his 90 days are up for probation? I know a weird question if you only knew the answer he gave me and told me to learn to do my math .. OMGOSH .. what a MORON!! It's hurting my son because this is all about the fact he can't play basketball now and I'm just furious .. I'm...	SerenityRUS	17	649	Oct 23, 2014 by pinkchip
	Lately I just come to read, but today I need to post... (Preview) Things are going really well in so many areas, but with my busy life, school, work, kids and now a boyfriend I try to see once a week, my lack of time I am noticing things happening with my 16 year old, lack of communication and with my 6 year old behaviorally acting out at school and boys and girls club...	Breakingfree	10	516	Oct 23, 2014 by milkwood
	little update (Preview) I appreciate those who helped me thru this dilemma. It came down too I am way too stressed from the tenants. I have done all I can do. It may be they have to leave. Then my renting my pasture is not settled. And now my 4 H people cannot find calfs to raise yet. so she may not rent. I talked to my son who told me to t...	Debilyn	12	540	Oct 23, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Sick website...are "most men" like this??? (Preview) I am admitting something that is causing me a lot of pain. Whenever I feel sad and lonely I go to a website my AH posts on...to wake me up to the reality of how sick he really is. I just finished looking at some very disturbing images he posted. It's a site where anything goes...and people are really sick. Th...	Newlife girl	27	789	Oct 22, 2014 by Newlife girl
	alanon meeting ideas (Preview) I feel as if my home meetings are getting a bit stale. We have different speakers sharing on different topics, we have occasional workshops, we use different booklets but I would like to try something different. Any ideas?	el-cee	7	4151	Oct 22, 2014 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.