The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
He has done nothing. NOTHING for the last 2 weeks, he hasn't lifted a finger. The he got drunk and kept me awake for the last 2 days.
I am so tired I am almost dead. Now my parents are due to arrive any minute and he's dancing around with a broom, come on Mel, what are you doing, your parents will be here soon!
He's sweeping cobwebs from the outside windows. he literally has done nothing but lie in his room being a lump of poo for 2 weeks and the he got drunk and set fires, , I slept in a car-park last night and suddenly he's dancing around, come on, what's wrong with you, you cant go to sleep now, fire up!! We have to be out of here today! What's wrong with you?
I want to drive a PICK AXE THROUGH HIS SPINAL COLUMN.
This is ridiculous.
I don't even care if anyone believes him or his crap.
This is just so wrong, I'm so tired, now he's fired u the leaf blower, he's going to pretend like he's trying so hard and I'm doing nothing after he kept me awake for 2 days.
This will pass, it will pass. Like everything, it will pass.
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Makes me think of my donkey following the carrot on the stick days - one foot in front of the other until the storm passes, and it will Mel - remember these times, use them to never put yourself through it again!
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
That was so bad, to begin with.
I fell asleep waiting for them (I haven't slept much, the last time was in the car) and woke up to my mum shouting 'where is she, why isn't she out here doing stuff", and when I got out there she was chatting away to A like he was an old friend, and accusing me, what's WRONG with you do you know what TIME it is. She went on like that being SO friendly to him and I wanted to scream, OH MY GOD IT"S AN ACT, YOU DON"T KNOW WHAT HAS GONE ON HERE!!!!
He laid it on so thick, and then he got up on the roof and started cleaning out the gutters, throwing down the muck like he was the star of the show and making SUCH a song and dance about how great he was and how hard he was working. It was like he thought he was on broadway, playing the role of "house clean-up guy", chim-chiminy chim chiminy...
My mum just looked at me, she knew.
I stopped needing to say anything to her about it then, she just knew.
I guess she grew up with an A dad, she was married to MY dad, she isn't completely stupid. My step-dad also grew up with an A dad. I felt better, we packed stuff together quietly, I was so grateful for her being here and helping, grateful for my stepdad and the cheerful silly joker that he is. And grateful for the fact that I didn't have to even try to explain why I was half asleep and being a zombie. They got it. They didn't buy his act, they saw it for exactly what it was.
It shouldn't matter but it did, it was nice. I didn't feel alone. And they helped so much, they took away all of my "important" stuff and some things to throw on the rubbish collection too.
A thinks his performance was spectacular, and I'm taking a leaf from their book, goodness A, that's very impressive, wow, I have to go and do something important over here now.
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
That's cool that you could get the support you needed and deserved from a look and it helped you to detach and give yourself some well earned love. You win Meliss cos you didn't let him manipulate you into the dance! Super super cool that your mum and stepdad got it without you having to say a word. Go you girl!
You will get to a point when you will never allow anyone to chase you out of your home again, ever. Your on your way to peace and a safe environment, you will start to heal from this trauma. When I stopped it, the anger set in and god help the person who tries that crazy crap on with me again.
Sounds like your mom and stepdad are alanoners at heart. I know your mom has issues, but your last post reminded me of my parents. My mom has been intensely critical and my dad is just kind and supportive, but whipped by her. Despite that, my parents have been there for me time and time again. The better I got, the more I've been able to have those good interactions with them and not the bad/critical ones. Most of those were elicited from mom figuring her parenting of a child was not done. I think I stopped giving her so much to work with due to my program. Sounds like this has been and will be your journey also. I think I related all this to NLG in one of her posts, but I was packing up my crap and starting all over again (and my parents flew down to help me also) just 6 years ago. My 20s and a good portion of my 30s were a blur of dysfunction. Not sure how I was blessed or why...but life began again at 36 years old.
Yes to what others have written - and when this settles down, you must begin writing a book or screenplay or something. You are brilliant at painting word pictures. I love your humor.
