Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

DavidG · DavidG

My SO volunteers at the small local cinema- and was out last night. I watched a programme on TV, based in Las Vegas- about a police and probation worker dealing with people with substance abuse. The guy said the recidivist rate was 97%. I had a nephew overdose and die in a house at the back of us here. And...

catlover26 · catlover26

I've spent a lot of time with my husband but we've just been married 2 weeks. I have been reading some posts and this scares me but I never thought about this. Sometimes he can seem like he's doing things for me but I question if he really wants something in return. And if I don't always do some things I get so...

Debb · Debb

In todays reading the author "challenges each of us to Let Go and Let God in all of our affairs." To let go of our self-willfulness to Gods care.Step Three, is a compilation of centuries of philosophical wisdom that are suggested to be greaterthan what we could image. Todays Reminder:"The words, "...

Debb · Debb

Greetings MIP Family! I know that the stress I have been experiencing has to do with a number of annual physicals coming up in July. They are stressful because I had two cancers so this time of year is not always pleasant. Couple that with the fact that I have to drive two hours to see my Mother & Father...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's reading in One Day at a Time in Al-Anon talks about resentment and the desire for retaliation against someone who we believe has hurt us. It asks if we really know the other person's motive, and suggests that in some cases the hurt might have been unintentional or we might have been over sensit...

DavidG · DavidG

I have to apply the serenity prayer. And grieve for relationships. Our parents split up whenI was 26. Mum left home the day after our youngest brother left home. She went through some tough times- but survived and thrived, in the end. Our dad stayed on in the family home until he died. It was a small far...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

As you all know whenever I have an opportunity I try to go to classes on recovery I have always struggled with boundaries because of course there were none in my family of origin. Thete were no.boundaryes to protect me and my siblings One of the core issues in my family of origin across the board is enme...

Girl58 · Girl58

Hi, all. I'm new here. I've been in Al Anon for about nine years (I'm late to the party...see next paragraph)...but there's so much I'm still not able to put into practice. My qualifier -- my twin sister -- has been sober for more than 25 years. I had hoped that, by this time, her life wouldn't still be com...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author reflects on the necessity of detachment, a topic that we tend to talk about a lot in Al-ANon. One kind of detachment is detachment with love from those dealing with addictions. The author shares that many alcoholics need to "hit a bottom" and become uncomfo...

DavidG · DavidG

We didn't take our kayaks out once this year- they still sit on the garage floor. Fact is that we went to rowing six or seven times. We have an old English caravan- and hauled i dover the pass into the next big valley. Two of our grand-kids are rowers. Both were in the national champs- and we ended up goin...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I don't like to have to adjust myself to whatever comes my way! I am very stubborn & really don't like change at all. I know that the only constant thing is change. I have tried to work the Program on these issues & lately I can't stand the way I have been thinking. I am managing to live one day at a tim...

JerryF · JerryF

Good morning family. I am very rocky this morning and dealing with PTSD which originated from way back when as I fought the insanities not only of alcoholism and drug addiction and also the start of the war in Hawaii and over my home town. It has carried on till the present on a daily basis and fortifie...

cranberry · cranberry

Well, we made it nearly 2 months and now he has relapsed. I'm so exhausted from these ongoing highs and lows...sober 2 months/relapse/sober 2 weeks/relapse on and on. My kids are devastated that he is drinking again, especially my oldest. And I die inside a little more every time we go through this...

catlover26 · catlover26

I pretty much knew some of what I was getting into. I married my boyfriend who I guess it's 'right' to call him an addict as he's smoked pot 50 yrs. Overall maybe it doesn't interfere with our relationship but I don't know enough to realize it is. I have seen him in stressful situations where I see how it aff...

Micatee54 · Micatee54

My son is scheduled for in treatment rehab. Please pray he doesnt change his mind. He is killing himself. I know I have no control and I put it in Gods hands, but all prayers are appreciated. Just joined this group last night but I belong to others also. Thank you

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading notes that, coming in to Alanon, our focus is often consumed with the alcoholic. Recovery depends on our recognizing that the bounds of Step 1 powerlessness include the alcoholic... we cannot stop their compulsion to drink or shape their life to our liking and comfort.Admitting 'o...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

My life used to revolve around helping others. In particular the qualifier only had to ask me for help and I dropped everything to go to extraordinary lengths for him. He was really a very very good manipulator. In fact he was expert at it. Many alcoholic addicts are. This week I heard that someone wh...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning and happy Saturday MIP. Today's reading talks about Step 10 - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. It is suggested that this step is a gentle, warm and loving way to take care of self. By continuing to take our own inventory and admitting pro...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Wishing you a very happy birthday ((((OC))) I hope you have a wonderful day!! TT

DavidG · DavidG

[From Memory] The Alanon Declaration. When anyone, anywhere reaches out for help- let the hand of Alanon and Alateen always be there... ...and let it begin with me. In the beginning I learned that we empower the person and that don't enable the disease. This shifted for me- to empowering myself. With...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's reading asks the question, if the Ninth Step says we need not make direct amends to someone we have harmed "if to do so would injure them or others," -- then how do we decide what kind of amends to make, and when? Today's author says that if they are willing to make amends, then higher power will l...

Fedora · Fedora

I wonder if there is a way to reduce the amount of email/texting contact I have with my ex. We live in the same house (for 2 more months) and have 2 kids so I understand it isn't possible to cut him off entirely. But I wish there was a way to reduce it. I feel like things are hitting a new level of low for him, wh...

Debb · Debb

In todays reading the author discusses when a newcomer to Al-Anon "tells his/her sponsor about the alcoholicconflict in the home" and how what is recanted is "only one side of the story."Our involvement in the chaos can literally make it difficult, in the midst of the upheaval, to see that our senseo...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's reading in C2C is about Step 7. The author shares that when they got to step 7 (Humbly asked HP to remove our short comings), they initially stumbled over the very first word - humbly. The author felt that being humble their whole life had only resulted in abuse. But then, the author r...

SunnyFrogs · SunnyFrogs

I'm looking for ESH for dealing with the lying. Of course I've learned from experience(tons of experience) that calling AH on a lie leads to nothing good at all. I don't need to describe or explain how that goes,I'm sure you all already know. I don't really want to just allow all the lying to be someth...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'a'll... heading for a northern city where i plan to roll out some ACA stuff. I have an Alanon meeting pegged in for Monday coming. Alanon is thin on the ground in NZ- and ACA thinner. So Alanon groups are great standbys for us- with the alcoholic or addiction in the family... One time I thought I wo...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's writer admits to a guilty pleasure of enjoying their Step 6 defects, in this case thoughts of Revenge and payback for wrongs, along with the satisfaction of pridefully thinking they were always right.Also acknowledged, however, was that this practice kept them from treating self and othe...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

One part of Lois Wilson's story is that one night Bill was hurrying her up to go to a meeting. Lois picked up a shoe and threw it as hard as she could at him. Then she said a few choice words about Alcoholcs Anonymours. I have spent most of my life throwing shoes. Any time there was an issue I got all riled u...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, June 7th, asks us to think about courtesy. In alanon, courtesy is thought to express loving and warm concern for the other persons comfort. The writer says we often overlook this in the home. In How Alanon Works for the Families and Friends of Alcoholics, that author says th...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is a focus on the power of detachment. The writer describes becoming pretty good at detaching from tense situations or arguments by removing him/herself from the scenario and reading some of the Alanon literature or responding to criticism with you may be rig...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

When Betty was active in this board she was very diligent about mentioning the steps. I have grown to really love the meetings that focus on topics. How her presence is missed on a daily basis For me today I have been exposed to a large number of essential workers who have been working under such duress....

Lyne · Lyne

In the reading for Monday, 5/31, the author questions whether we should create a crisis for the alcoholic to help them come to their senses? They go on to say this idea is misunderstood and wrongly applied. They say further that it is not our job to interfere with the drinkers activities, plan pitfal...

mamalioness · mamalioness

well I am becoming my own auto mechanic on the basics. I had to change out the engine filter and the cabin filter in the car and a very nice gentleman stood over me and watched me do my thing, supervising me and he was very impressed that I knew how to do that crap and that I used common sense and that I looked at...

DavidG · DavidG

My life is busy and full these days- at the age of 70. I suffered from chronic pain all of my life. Three ir four years ago i was running to the bathroom every 20 mins. ... The first of April, in Courage To Change -from memory- brings us the three A's Anxiety, anguish and annihilation. No, no no... awar...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP. Today's reading discusses Step Three - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. The author suggests that this Power, for them, is a presence that loves as is, accepts with compassion on bad days as well as good days. Once we accept alc...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's reading covers the basics of the Second Step. It suggests that we open our minds to the possibility that help is available to do for us what we are unable to do for ourselves -- restore us to sanity. We don't have to believe that it will happen, only that it could happen. This glimmer of hope might s...

Debb · Debb

Todays reading suggests that if we want to correct a bad habit, daily practice of a good replacement is what Al-Anon helps us strive for. It is also suggested that, "we learn we cannot go on functioning as we have been, impulsively and automatically, if we hope to improve our lives."The reading goes o...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi Y'all... ...I have a sponsee now. In a different part of the country- but we zoom. My hunch is- to see newcomers do their steps 2 and 3 within the group. To find their higher power. To shake down our belief systems. This is not something I am telling Alanon to do! Au contraire. it is just a personal choi...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

In this past week I spoke to one of my co workers who told me basically she is not getting vaccinated Another one of my coworkers is also not getting vaccinated I can detach pretty quickly. However the barriers around COVID are far more then basic. Wearing a mask all the time is beyond tedious. The soc...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Today's topic is from yesterday's share on today's hope. Don't just do something-sit there. The author reflects on how hard it can be to not jump to action, to sit in uncertainty or discomfort. The author at times finds it impossible to act because of fear, and equally difficult to sit still. At such t...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's writer recalls the saying that an expectation is a 'premeditated resentment'. We may hold certain standards as important to us, but then expect others also to hold to them or face our judgment or wrath.Alternative: adjust our expectation of others, especially when we are aware there is hig...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Sometimes it gets different before it gets better but it does! I am living proof that the sun always rises after the dawn. It is memorial day Friday today & I already put some special things on my stepdad's grave & it felt pretty good. Of course it is sad & I cried. His wife my mom is laid to rest...

Debb · Debb

In todays reading the author is speaking about when our problems are overwhelming and thatthe fault may lie with the fact that our perception of the problem is the problem!When we parse out and go beyond the problematic thinking we realize that we do have anoption to "Let Go and Let God." Sometimes o...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP. Today's reading is about fear and worry. This sentence, "When we anticipate doom, we lose touch with what is happening now and see the world as a threatening place against which we must be on constant alert." speaks to me today. We were informed yesterday that my AH's youngest bro...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is a focus on gratitude. The writer expresses gratitude for the message of hope in al-anon, for the literature, and for strong and helpful sponsors. The writer acknowledged that early in the program the feeling was more one of defeat than gratitude, and certai...

mamamary1964 · mamamary1964

So my daughter who was in rehab and returned home Wednesday is back to her old ways. I was holding on to hope after speaking with her and her therapist on Monday that she was going to follow through. She seemed so sincere. PHP for 2 weeks and IOP after. She was supposed to go to PHP yesterday and did not. ...

DavidG · DavidG

Kia ora koutou... greetings from New Zealand. Today I am in New Zealand's biggest city, Auckland. I tend to call it "Awkvegas". If I tried to find a meeting here- Would get bamboozled in the first ten minutes- trying to find the rooms! 60 years ago most of us lived out in the country and a tangi [funeral] w...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about the gentleness of al-anon. The writer describes a situation in which he/she was told after a meeting that he/she was speaking so quietly the words were inaudible. The writer considered what this message from the two people who mentioned this at the mee...

SunnyFrogs · SunnyFrogs

It's a little after 3:00 in the afternoon right now. AH is drunk,slurring and making/receiving phone calls during this. Right now he's talking to his mother. I walked away from his conversation with her. I so wanted to correct his words, everything he is saying he is pronouncing wrong. His words wer...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author shares that they at times have tried to avoid making the same mistake twice by creating strict rules for their behavior. However, it is impossible to plan for everything that might happen in the future, and by doing so, the author realized that they were limi...

DavidG · DavidG

Two of our members were in other parts of the country this week. In this neck of the woods- a solo member my sit alone for months and months sometimes, waiting for the next member to arrive. But tonight there were two of us there- and we got a newcomer. In our district one rural city has large Alanon gr...

DavidG · DavidG

The idea of straws and winnowing appeals to me. An image i used a lot in my healing. Gleaning too- from The Book of Ruth. But also that grim saying:- "The straw that broke the camel's back." I was broken and lost for much of my life. So lost there was no way out. I did need a miracle- because I was so stuck....

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

For a long time, this page author would automatically answer 'Fine, how are you?', even when they were not. Some may point to denial as a trait of alcoholics when in fact, we may use it just as much by always pretending that 'everything is fine'.Honesty is an important part of Alanon recovery, and deter...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

One of my core issues with the qualifier was his impulsivity. He reacted constantly. He was barely able to contain his emotions There is a long list of things he did that brought chaos to my life: 1) Quit jobs 2) Lost jobs 3) spent money (lots of it) 4) Had car accidents (I lost count) 5) Stormed out an...

DavidG · DavidG

We have two gorges out of this valley, and two passes. We are slap-bang in the middle of this big island. I have to go up one gorge to my meeting- which seems to be going well. ... First weeks- I was playing heavy prison blues in my truck. But just lately i notice a change. Many people won't have heard of...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

Originally AA was 6 steps. Bill W decided to expand it to 12 steps In the beginning it was a knowledged that what kept the alcoholic sober was going to meetings Certainly for me dealing with numerous qualifiers but one truly sociopathic one before I came into these rooms I had to trust that al anon mig...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP and happy Saturday to all. Today's reading is all about the gift of a spiritual relationship with a higher power that we gain in our recovery journey. We come to realize that we are powerless to change the fact that alcoholism has affected our lives. We come to believe that a Power gr...

Fedora · Fedora

My divorce was finalized about a week ago. Although we are still in the same house (and will be until the end of the year), I feel like this is bringing me to a whole new level of recovery and I am Very happy about it. Now that we are no longer connected by law, I don't have to use any imagination to work my pro...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's reading in Courage to Change talks about the quietness of heart that comes from taking the Seventh Step, "Humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings." Humbly means calmly. It is not groveling, and it is not trying to impress. Humility is not humiliating. It is doing my part, and trusting a...

Lyne · Lyne

In the reading for Monday 5/17, the author says we really have no choice but to live one day at a time. We can make plans and scheme, but we cannot control results. We can compress ODAT to one hour or one minute, which can make life not only bearable but precious. By focusing on what is going on right here...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Dealing with the impossible? (Preview) My SO volunteers at the small local cinema- and was out last night. I watched a programme on TV, based in Las Vegas- about a police and probation worker dealing with people with substance abuse. The guy said the recidivist rate was 97%. I had a nephew overdose and die in a house at the back of us here. And...	DavidG	4	339	Jun 18, 2021 by JerryF
	How do I know if I'm dealing with a Narscisist? (Preview) I've spent a lot of time with my husband but we've just been married 2 weeks. I have been reading some posts and this scares me but I never thought about this. Sometimes he can seem like he's doing things for me but I question if he really wants something in return. And if I don't always do some things I get so...	catlover26	7	834	Jun 18, 2021 by Enigmatic
	June 17, 2021 – ODAT – Step Three (Preview) In todays reading the author "challenges each of us to Let Go and Let God in all of our affairs." To let go of our self-willfulness to Gods care.Step Three, is a compilation of centuries of philosophical wisdom that are suggested to be greaterthan what we could image. Todays Reminder:"The words, "...	Debb	7	396	Jun 17, 2021 by Maresie888
	Having Difficulty With Family Gathering (Preview) Greetings MIP Family! I know that the stress I have been experiencing has to do with a number of annual physicals coming up in July. They are stressful because I had two cancers so this time of year is not always pleasant. Couple that with the fact that I have to drive two hours to see my Mother & Father...	Debb	12	333	Jun 17, 2021 by Maresie888
	May 28 - ODAT - Resentment (Preview) Today's reading in One Day at a Time in Al-Anon talks about resentment and the desire for retaliation against someone who we believe has hurt us. It asks if we really know the other person's motive, and suggests that in some cases the hurt might have been unintentional or we might have been over sensit...	Freetime	15	910	Jun 17, 2021 by Maresie888
	Sibs. i.e. sisters and brothers. (Preview) I have to apply the serenity prayer. And grieve for relationships. Our parents split up whenI was 26. Mum left home the day after our youngest brother left home. She went through some tough times- but survived and thrived, in the end. Our dad stayed on in the family home until he died. It was a small far...	DavidG	5	315	Jun 17, 2021 by Maresie888
	Enmeshmebt no differentiation between self (Preview) As you all know whenever I have an opportunity I try to go to classes on recovery I have always struggled with boundaries because of course there were none in my family of origin. Thete were no.boundaryes to protect me and my siblings One of the core issues in my family of origin across the board is enme...	Maresie888	4	427	Jun 17, 2021 by Maresie888
	Losing My Sister to AA? (Preview) Hi, all. I'm new here. I've been in Al Anon for about nine years (I'm late to the party...see next paragraph)...but there's so much I'm still not able to put into practice. My qualifier -- my twin sister -- has been sober for more than 25 years. I had hoped that, by this time, her life wouldn't still be com...	Girl58	12	373	Jun 17, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change June 16 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author reflects on the necessity of detachment, a topic that we tend to talk about a lot in Al-ANon. One kind of detachment is detachment with love from those dealing with addictions. The author shares that many alcoholics need to "hit a bottom" and become uncomfo...	Skorpi	5	521	Jun 16, 2021 by DavidG
	Learned helplessness- old habits die hard. (Preview) We didn't take our kayaks out once this year- they still sit on the garage floor. Fact is that we went to rowing six or seven times. We have an old English caravan- and hauled i dover the pass into the next big valley. Two of our grand-kids are rowers. Both were in the national champs- and we ended up goin...	DavidG	5	317	Jun 16, 2021 by Maresie888
	briefly I don't like change or challenges (Preview) I don't like to have to adjust myself to whatever comes my way! I am very stubborn & really don't like change at all. I know that the only constant thing is change. I have tried to work the Program on these issues & lately I can't stand the way I have been thinking. I am managing to live one day at a tim...	Hoot Nanny	7	314	Jun 16, 2021 by Maresie888
	PTSD STRUGGLE (Preview) Good morning family. I am very rocky this morning and dealing with PTSD which originated from way back when as I fought the insanities not only of alcoholism and drug addiction and also the start of the war in Hawaii and over my home town. It has carried on till the present on a daily basis and fortifie...	JerryF	21	558	Jun 15, 2021 by JerryF
	Sad and missing my sober spouse... (Preview) Well, we made it nearly 2 months and now he has relapsed. I'm so exhausted from these ongoing highs and lows...sober 2 months/relapse/sober 2 weeks/relapse on and on. My kids are devastated that he is drinking again, especially my oldest. And I die inside a little more every time we go through this...	cranberry	6	323	Jun 15, 2021 by Maresie888
	Need support and probably advice (Preview) I pretty much knew some of what I was getting into. I married my boyfriend who I guess it's 'right' to call him an addict as he's smoked pot 50 yrs. Overall maybe it doesn't interfere with our relationship but I don't know enough to realize it is. I have seen him in stressful situations where I see how it aff...	catlover26	2	296	Jun 15, 2021 by Maresie888
	Scheduled for rehab (Preview) My son is scheduled for in treatment rehab. Please pray he doesnt change his mind. He is killing himself. I know I have no control and I put it in Gods hands, but all prayers are appreciated. Just joined this group last night but I belong to others also. Thank you	Micatee54	6	263	Jun 15, 2021 by Maresie888
	6/15/21 One Day at a Time – Powerless Over Alcohol (ic) (Preview) Today's reading notes that, coming in to Alanon, our focus is often consumed with the alcoholic. Recovery depends on our recognizing that the bounds of Step 1 powerlessness include the alcoholic... we cannot stop their compulsion to drink or shape their life to our liking and comfort.Admitting 'o...	Enigmatic	6	425	Jun 15, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Helping others rather than helping yourself (Preview) My life used to revolve around helping others. In particular the qualifier only had to ask me for help and I dropped everything to go to extraordinary lengths for him. He was really a very very good manipulator. In fact he was expert at it. Many alcoholic addicts are. This week I heard that someone wh...	Maresie888	9	393	Jun 15, 2021 by JerryF
	Courage to Change 6/12 (Preview) Good morning and happy Saturday MIP. Today's reading talks about Step 10 - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. It is suggested that this step is a gentle, warm and loving way to take care of self. By continuing to take our own inventory and admitting pro...	Iamhere	10	390	Jun 13, 2021 by mamalioness
	Happy Birthday Overcome (Preview) Wishing you a very happy birthday ((((OC))) I hope you have a wonderful day!! TT	tiredtonite	4	243	Jun 13, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	The Declaration. (Preview) [From Memory] The Alanon Declaration. When anyone, anywhere reaches out for help- let the hand of Alanon and Alateen always be there... ...and let it begin with me. In the beginning I learned that we empower the person and that don't enable the disease. This shifted for me- to empowering myself. With...	DavidG	4	315	Jun 13, 2021 by Lyne
	June 11 - C2C - Amends (Preview) Today's reading asks the question, if the Ninth Step says we need not make direct amends to someone we have harmed "if to do so would injure them or others," -- then how do we decide what kind of amends to make, and when? Today's author says that if they are willing to make amends, then higher power will l...	Freetime	12	335	Jun 12, 2021 by Maresie888
	email ugliness from the ex - can I reduce this? (Preview) I wonder if there is a way to reduce the amount of email/texting contact I have with my ex. We live in the same house (for 2 more months) and have 2 kids so I understand it isn't possible to cut him off entirely. But I wish there was a way to reduce it. I feel like things are hitting a new level of low for him, wh...	Fedora	4	277	Jun 12, 2021 by Lyne
	June 10, 2021 – ODAT – Only One Side Of The Story (Preview) In todays reading the author discusses when a newcomer to Al-Anon "tells his/her sponsor about the alcoholicconflict in the home" and how what is recanted is "only one side of the story."Our involvement in the chaos can literally make it difficult, in the midst of the upheaval, to see that our senseo...	Debb	13	452	Jun 11, 2021 by Debb
	Courage to Change June 9 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading in C2C is about Step 7. The author shares that when they got to step 7 (Humbly asked HP to remove our short comings), they initially stumbled over the very first word - humbly. The author felt that being humble their whole life had only resulted in abuse. But then, the author r...	Skorpi	7	433	Jun 11, 2021 by DavidG
	I Know You're Lying (Preview) I'm looking for ESH for dealing with the lying. Of course I've learned from experience(tons of experience) that calling AH on a lie leads to nothing good at all. I don't need to describe or explain how that goes,I'm sure you all already know. I don't really want to just allow all the lying to be someth...	SunnyFrogs	26	607	Jun 11, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	P-p-p-panic... but not on Step 12? (Preview) Hi y'a'll... heading for a northern city where i plan to roll out some ACA stuff. I have an Alanon meeting pegged in for Monday coming. Alanon is thin on the ground in NZ- and ACA thinner. So Alanon groups are great standbys for us- with the alcoholic or addiction in the family... One time I thought I wo...	DavidG	3	305	Jun 9, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	6/8/21 Courage to Change – Hanging on to Defects (Preview) Today's writer admits to a guilty pleasure of enjoying their Step 6 defects, in this case thoughts of Revenge and payback for wrongs, along with the satisfaction of pridefully thinking they were always right.Also acknowledged, however, was that this practice kept them from treating self and othe...	Enigmatic	6	295	Jun 8, 2021 by DavidG
	When Lois threw the shoe (Preview) One part of Lois Wilson's story is that one night Bill was hurrying her up to go to a meeting. Lois picked up a shoe and threw it as hard as she could at him. Then she said a few choice words about Alcoholcs Anonymours. I have spent most of my life throwing shoes. Any time there was an issue I got all riled u...	Maresie888	4	467	Jun 8, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	ODAT in alanon, 6/7, A deeper look at courtesy (Preview) The reading for Monday, June 7th, asks us to think about courtesy. In alanon, courtesy is thought to express loving and warm concern for the other persons comfort. The writer says we often overlook this in the home. In How Alanon Works for the Families and Friends of Alcoholics, that author says th...	Lyne	7	1537	Jun 7, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Hope for Today June 6 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is a focus on the power of detachment. The writer describes becoming pretty good at detaching from tense situations or arguments by removing him/herself from the scenario and reading some of the Alanon literature or responding to criticism with you may be rig...	yanksfan51	9	333	Jun 6, 2021 by mamalioness
	6th step (Preview) When Betty was active in this board she was very diligent about mentioning the steps. I have grown to really love the meetings that focus on topics. How her presence is missed on a daily basis For me today I have been exposed to a large number of essential workers who have been working under such duress....	Maresie888	2	853	Jun 6, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	ODAT in alanon, 5/31, For their own good? (Preview) In the reading for Monday, 5/31, the author questions whether we should create a crisis for the alcoholic to help them come to their senses? They go on to say this idea is misunderstood and wrongly applied. They say further that it is not our job to interfere with the drinkers activities, plan pitfal...	Lyne	8	341	Jun 5, 2021 by mamalioness
	What did I do for myself today (Preview) well I am becoming my own auto mechanic on the basics. I had to change out the engine filter and the cabin filter in the car and a very nice gentleman stood over me and watched me do my thing, supervising me and he was very impressed that I knew how to do that crap and that I used common sense and that I looked at...	mamalioness	6	363	Jun 5, 2021 by mamalioness
	A Saturday share (Preview) My life is busy and full these days- at the age of 70. I suffered from chronic pain all of my life. Three ir four years ago i was running to the bathroom every 20 mins. ... The first of April, in Courage To Change -from memory- brings us the three A's Anxiety, anguish and annihilation. No, no no... awar...	DavidG	6	316	Jun 5, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change 6/5 (Preview) Good morning MIP. Today's reading discusses Step Three - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. The author suggests that this Power, for them, is a presence that loves as is, accepts with compassion on bad days as well as good days. Once we accept alc...	Iamhere	5	291	Jun 5, 2021 by mamalioness
	June 4 - C2C - Hope (Preview) Today's reading covers the basics of the Second Step. It suggests that we open our minds to the possibility that help is available to do for us what we are unable to do for ourselves -- restore us to sanity. We don't have to believe that it will happen, only that it could happen. This glimmer of hope might s...	Freetime	11	1004	Jun 4, 2021 by mamalioness
	June 3, 2021 – ODAT – Personal Changes (Preview) Todays reading suggests that if we want to correct a bad habit, daily practice of a good replacement is what Al-Anon helps us strive for. It is also suggested that, "we learn we cannot go on functioning as we have been, impulsively and automatically, if we hope to improve our lives."The reading goes o...	Debb	9	385	Jun 4, 2021 by Debb
	Things I think about... (Preview) Hi Y'all... ...I have a sponsee now. In a different part of the country- but we zoom. My hunch is- to see newcomers do their steps 2 and 3 within the group. To find their higher power. To shake down our belief systems. This is not something I am telling Alanon to do! Au contraire. it is just a personal choi...	DavidG	5	309	Jun 2, 2021 by mamalioness
	Corona virus update (Preview) In this past week I spoke to one of my co workers who told me basically she is not getting vaccinated Another one of my coworkers is also not getting vaccinated I can detach pretty quickly. However the barriers around COVID are far more then basic. Wearing a mask all the time is beyond tedious. The soc...	Maresie888	6	334	Jun 2, 2021 by Maresie888
	Today's Hope June 2 (Preview) Today's topic is from yesterday's share on today's hope. Don't just do something-sit there. The author reflects on how hard it can be to not jump to action, to sit in uncertainty or discomfort. The author at times finds it impossible to act because of fear, and equally difficult to sit still. At such t...	Skorpi	6	308	Jun 2, 2021 by Maresie888
	6/1/21 Courage to Change – Expectation > Resentment? (Preview) Today's writer recalls the saying that an expectation is a 'premeditated resentment'. We may hold certain standards as important to us, but then expect others also to hold to them or face our judgment or wrath.Alternative: adjust our expectation of others, especially when we are aware there is hig...	Enigmatic	12	360	Jun 1, 2021 by mamalioness
	What can I say? It does get better! (Preview) Sometimes it gets different before it gets better but it does! I am living proof that the sun always rises after the dawn. It is memorial day Friday today & I already put some special things on my stepdad's grave & it felt pretty good. Of course it is sad & I cried. His wife my mom is laid to rest...	Hoot Nanny	5	383	Jun 1, 2021 by Maresie888
	May 27, 2021 – ODAT – Getting Our Perspective (Preview) In todays reading the author is speaking about when our problems are overwhelming and thatthe fault may lie with the fact that our perception of the problem is the problem!When we parse out and go beyond the problematic thinking we realize that we do have anoption to "Let Go and Let God." Sometimes o...	Debb	17	452	Jun 1, 2021 by Debb
	Courage to Change 5/29 (Preview) Good morning MIP. Today's reading is about fear and worry. This sentence, "When we anticipate doom, we lose touch with what is happening now and see the world as a threatening place against which we must be on constant alert." speaks to me today. We were informed yesterday that my AH's youngest bro...	Iamhere	13	867	May 31, 2021 by Maresie888
	Hope for Today May 30 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is a focus on gratitude. The writer expresses gratitude for the message of hope in al-anon, for the literature, and for strong and helpful sponsors. The writer acknowledged that early in the program the feeling was more one of defeat than gratitude, and certai...	yanksfan51	11	357	May 31, 2021 by Maresie888
	One day out and we're back to the same old BS (Preview) So my daughter who was in rehab and returned home Wednesday is back to her old ways. I was holding on to hope after speaking with her and her therapist on Monday that she was going to follow through. She seemed so sincere. PHP for 2 weeks and IOP after. She was supposed to go to PHP yesterday and did not. ...	mamamary1964	30	1088	May 30, 2021 by mamalioness
	A Letter Home- Saturday share,,, (Preview) Kia ora koutou... greetings from New Zealand. Today I am in New Zealand's biggest city, Auckland. I tend to call it "Awkvegas". If I tried to find a meeting here- Would get bamboozled in the first ten minutes- trying to find the rooms! 60 years ago most of us lived out in the country and a tangi [funeral] w...	DavidG	2	278	May 30, 2021 by Lyne
	Hope for Today May 23 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about the gentleness of al-anon. The writer describes a situation in which he/she was told after a meeting that he/she was speaking so quietly the words were inaudible. The writer considered what this message from the two people who mentioned this at the mee...	yanksfan51	7	461	May 30, 2021 by yanksfan51
	Anxiety Inside My Hula Hoop (Preview) It's a little after 3:00 in the afternoon right now. AH is drunk,slurring and making/receiving phone calls during this. Right now he's talking to his mother. I walked away from his conversation with her. I so wanted to correct his words, everything he is saying he is pronouncing wrong. His words wer...	SunnyFrogs	33	4341	May 28, 2021 by Hoot Nanny
	Courage to Change May 26 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author shares that they at times have tried to avoid making the same mistake twice by creating strict rules for their behavior. However, it is impossible to plan for everything that might happen in the future, and by doing so, the author realized that they were limi...	Skorpi	11	452	May 28, 2021 by Debb
	My F2F group... (Preview) Two of our members were in other parts of the country this week. In this neck of the woods- a solo member my sit alone for months and months sometimes, waiting for the next member to arrive. But tonight there were two of us there- and we got a newcomer. In our district one rural city has large Alanon gr...	DavidG	3	852	May 27, 2021 by Freetime
	Straws in the wind... (Preview) The idea of straws and winnowing appeals to me. An image i used a lot in my healing. Gleaning too- from The Book of Ruth. But also that grim saying:- "The straw that broke the camel's back." I was broken and lost for much of my life. So lost there was no way out. I did need a miracle- because I was so stuck....	DavidG	2	252	May 27, 2021 by mamalioness
	5/25/21 C2C – How Are You…Really? (Preview) For a long time, this page author would automatically answer 'Fine, how are you?', even when they were not. Some may point to denial as a trait of alcoholics when in fact, we may use it just as much by always pretending that 'everything is fine'.Honesty is an important part of Alanon recovery, and deter...	Enigmatic	13	1523	May 26, 2021 by mamalioness
	Impulsivity (Preview) One of my core issues with the qualifier was his impulsivity. He reacted constantly. He was barely able to contain his emotions There is a long list of things he did that brought chaos to my life: 1) Quit jobs 2) Lost jobs 3) spent money (lots of it) 4) Had car accidents (I lost count) 5) Stormed out an...	Maresie888	6	2003	May 26, 2021 by DavidG
	Recovery song- long before AA and Alanon... (Preview) We have two gorges out of this valley, and two passes. We are slap-bang in the middle of this big island. I have to go up one gorge to my meeting- which seems to be going well. ... First weeks- I was playing heavy prison blues in my truck. But just lately i notice a change. Many people won't have heard of...	DavidG	5	1301	May 25, 2021 by Maresie888
	6 step (Preview) Originally AA was 6 steps. Bill W decided to expand it to 12 steps In the beginning it was a knowledged that what kept the alcoholic sober was going to meetings Certainly for me dealing with numerous qualifiers but one truly sociopathic one before I came into these rooms I had to trust that al anon mig...	Maresie888	3	382	May 25, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Courage to Change 5/22 (Preview) Good morning MIP and happy Saturday to all. Today's reading is all about the gift of a spiritual relationship with a higher power that we gain in our recovery journey. We come to realize that we are powerless to change the fact that alcoholism has affected our lives. We come to believe that a Power gr...	Iamhere	10	2441	May 24, 2021 by Maresie888
	Divorced finalized and so many things have already gotten easier. (Preview) My divorce was finalized about a week ago. Although we are still in the same house (and will be until the end of the year), I feel like this is bringing me to a whole new level of recovery and I am Very happy about it. Now that we are no longer connected by law, I don't have to use any imagination to work my pro...	Fedora	5	1138	May 24, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	May 21 - Courage to Change - Humility (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change talks about the quietness of heart that comes from taking the Seventh Step, "Humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings." Humbly means calmly. It is not groveling, and it is not trying to impress. Humility is not humiliating. It is doing my part, and trusting a...	Freetime	13	2061	May 24, 2021 by Maresie888
	C2C, 5/17, right here, right now (Preview) In the reading for Monday 5/17, the author says we really have no choice but to live one day at a time. We can make plans and scheme, but we cannot control results. We can compress ODAT to one hour or one minute, which can make life not only bearable but precious. By focusing on what is going on right here...	Lyne	11	3022	May 24, 2021 by Maresie888
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.