The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I guess I haven't had a very good day. I have been in a lot of physidal pain, and my A has some kind of flu==I really don't want to mess with hism a lot since I was just in the hosp. for pneumonia right after Thanksgiving.
I have realized I myself can just have the bitchiest attitutde around my A, even when things are mellow and nothing is going wrong. I think it is my anger and desire to be alone, but without the financial I don't know how I willl so it. Cuting a lot of stuff out is one start. Maybe I shuld make a budget with the intention that he is no longer here; a gratitude list, and and good long prayer with HP.
My A said he can't stand MY attitude and he will be out by the weekend. I am joyful, terrified, relieved, scared, anxious, etc. all at the same time.
Anyone else experience this. I think we have real love but if I could get the right pshy doc, and if he could go to
AA, maybe it wouldn't be like this. Maybe it would always be like this.
The other night he asked if I can read the Big book story of Edition 4. First I read How it Works (beginning used in AA meetings), then I read him the story. The next morning alll I asked was if he could relate to anything I read, and he paused then said yes.
At least it was a small start. I have been kind of ill the past few nights.
But I feel a little better now.
__________________
This is HippieTrippieChick Signing Off
Be blessed and have a wonderful day.
Remember God loves you.
PEACE
Just wanted to hug you. Attitude is so very much a part of our recovery. Negative attitudes are very much contagious but the wonderful part is that so aren't positive attitudes. And when I find myself behaving the way I want to, I am so proud of myself even if someone else is negative because I won't have any amends to make because I am not reacting to them.
Feel, deal and heal friend and keep coming, Maria123
__________________
If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Reading the Big Book to each other was the best part of the Wreakage of the Past. That has happy memories for me. Back when everything is so raw (open wounds) it's so healing to do Alanon and AA stuff, meetings, literature, tapes, books, every day. It's an hour by hour thing.
Remember H.A.L.T. Am I hungry? Am I angry? Am I lonely? Am I tired? Fill those needs. Drink water, sleep, eat, go to a meeting.
