The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
..Juliette leans longingly over the balcony. "Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?" Romeo tumbles into her balcony and staggers over to her, and breathily whispers to her in hot boozy breath "hey bebe, sorry I'm late, but you know how it is, mama. Howzz about a kuss.." "Ew!" Juliette steps aside and he passes out onto the bed.
How come we never hear that version of the story!
How come after telling him under no uncertain terms that it's over and I'm am completely turned off by the drinking, the resulting conflict has killed any love I had for him off -my ex was sending text messages to my cellphone saying he still loves me, he doesn't want anyone else, begging and pleading, saying he will do anything.
I don't understand, were we even in the same relationship? Is he crazy? If he loved me he wouldn't do the things he does.
Lately I find myself fantasising about being in a real actual functioning relationship with a great guy, and I like it. I can't wait until I meet him, d*mn I am soo ready for him. It's weird, it's not even like I feel sad or lonely about being alone anymore, because I know this guy must be out there, and it's more a feeling of missing someone you are already with, who is just away overseas or something and is yet to return. I know what I want and what I need now.
When I meet him it will be like, where have you been all my life! :wOOt:
I dunno, I don't think it really has much to do with love - movies and books tell us that love conquers all, but it really doesn't. He may very well love you, as best as someone as sick as he is can, but it's kinda beside the point. The point being - you don't want to be part of his insanity any more.
And, while I like the idea that there is someone healthy out there for you, and I don't want to rain on your parade ... One thing I have learned both from alanon and from counselling, is that I had some part in the train wreck my marriage has been. I picked him, not the healthy guys that I could have picked. And you picked your A. Until you find out what it was in you that was drawn to his sickness, and deal with it, you will probably just pick another, of the same type.
That's what the 12 steps are for. Most of them, after about the 4th step or so, don't really help us in living with an active A in our lives. The tools, the slogans, the fellowship, all of those are more useful in dealing with the day to day reality of Aism. The steps are for US, to help us become the healthy people we can be, so we don't keep inviting the insanity into our lives, so we recognize it when it appears, and learn to avoid it. Then, when a real Romeo appears, we won't think, "boring", and keep looking for another A.
of course they want us back!!!!!!!! we are goooood people that do EVERYTHING for them. hell, i would want me back! then i could concentrate on all me (addict). me me me me me me me me me.
mama and the rest - ya gots to look at it from a sideways, upside down point of view.
OUR REALITY IS NOT THE SAME AS OUR ADDICTS.
their reality works in ways that keep the merry-go-round going round and round and round.
love ya all cj
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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
Rommeo *Buuuuurp Rommeo, ain't i just so seeeexxxxy. C'mon, C'mon.... you know i gets horny when i drink (stumble, falls) wwwwhhhat, don't u luuuuuuuv me anymorrrrre.
sigh
and my wife told me i wasn't romantic guess i wasn't in her reality that's okay i refuse to live in that reality
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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
okay, okay I guess what I was trying to say (and it was late at night and was feeling a bit humorous about it..) was that I knew all along that this was not my idea of romance, and that the reason I got so drawn in to him was because I got into a habit of trying to prove myself -to me or him I don't know. In the early days his moods would swing -one day incredibly Prince Charming, the next saying he wants nothing to do with me, for no apparent reason. I had a lot of this growing up, so what's my usual course of action: try to please him and show what a good person I am: surely that will make him see and come to love me right?? Bah-bom. No WAY! I even used to buy him beer just so I could spend time with him. I thought it would make him like me. I know better now.
I know better now! That's what I was getting at. What I was saying is that you see love stories in movies or read them in books. But they usually end with the riding off into the sunset, they don't have "and then on the way home Romeo says 'hold on while I stop at the shop and get some beers'..." I'm just saying I think I'll know love when I see it next.
