The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
With a smile like a cheshire cat, my little girl asked me, "Did you get me a Christmas present Daddy?" I said, "Yes, I did, but I'd like to say something about this year's Christmas." She cheerfully said, "sure."
"I got you a present, but not a stack of presents. That will happen at your house with your mom, brother and grandparents, just like it used to be when we were all together. Next year and years to come, there will be more I can do." She said, "I know."
"This year has been a difficult year financially, with fixing up the house, living in it by myself, preparing it for sale, etc. These things are so expensive, and I have done all I can. Sometimes people, even people who love each other so much they want to be together forever, start having so much trouble that there can come a time when Love teaches them that they will be better apart than together, so the trouble can stop and the children can have two peaceful places to be, rather than one troublesome home." She put her head down and said, "Irreconcilable differences. I knew for a long time it was coming."
"Having a name for it doesn't come close to explaining how it really feels for us. We've been through it, all of us. We want everything to work out for the best, how we Think it is best, and we can find ourselves hurt and angry when that changes. This can happen even without alcohol problems. I love you, my "Little," and I love your brother, I still see him in every age since he was a very little boy. He's angry right now and he has a right to have his feelings, and so do you. This has been so hard on you both, and you have been affected the most, my sweet girl. It has been hardest on you, not because you are a child who doesn't understand, you are are a wonderful, beautiful, intelligent child who does understand."
"Alcohol is like strong medicine, too much of it for too long can create a habit, and by the time the habit is powerful, a person can find themselves not knowing what to do about it. The person isn't bad. It's not the person at all, it's a disease. Mommy is taking care of herself now, not drinking anymore and that is so wonderful for her, for your brother and for you. Underneath the trouble, I still love her and wish so much for her to be happy. You are our Child. That love is different. You are not someone we met and fell in love with. You are mom's baby, you're my "Little." Nothing will ever, ever change how much we love you, how much I love you and your wonderful big brother. No wrapped present will ever be more special or will ever come close to the gift of that kind of love. The best gifts can't be wrapped."
"No matter where I am, no matter where I go, I will always, always come back to you, and you will always have a place with me. If there is one present I could ask for, it would be that you know these things I tell you are the truth. That when I tell you I love you, deep in your heart you KNOW it is true."
(and then came my sweetest gift ever...)
"Well then Daddy, you got your present a loooooong time ago."
My roomies, may the presence of Love be your present, this year.
You know so many of us can relate to the division of a family home and the fallout that occurs in that process. Many of us wish our parents had HAD the courage to separate, the fallout from staying in that dysfunction is torturous as well. To see your sweet little finding her voice and still resonating in love even amongst all she is going through is a testament to the deep message you have sent her... that unconditional love is what binds us all. I had the priveledge of hearing your story in the meeting the other night,, reading it here again still brings me to tears. I love you my sweet friend.
Just want you to know that I love you.......and I really mean that.......God did not make a man that I know as sweet and caring as you are...( except for my dad of course).... honestly there is not a more special relationship in this world....than that between a father and a daughter.....you are wonderful.....
By the way, where the hell have you been all my life?
I am touched beyond words. You have given me a gift this Christmas morning with your special story of love. You children are so blessed to have you as their father. And I am so blessed to have you as a friend. I wish you only the best as we approach this new year. You have so much wisdom in your heart and the most wonderful part of it all is that you share it with others and don't just keep it in there for only you to know. Thank you, Mac.......for being the man that God has created you to be.........allowing yourself to feel and speak your feelings and for all the many gifts you have given me because of that. Merry Christmas, dear Mac! You are so loved.
