The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been out of touch for a few days - I've missed all of you.
Can you be filled with Joy & Sadness at the same time? I can. I am.
They confirmed that Monday 12/4 our new home will finally be delivered. 15 months after Hurricane Rita damaged our home, tons of SBA paperwork, contractor delays, weather issues, etc, we are finally getting our new manufactured double wide home. I am blessed beyond my belief. I am so excited. That will give us 3 weeks to move, deliver furniture, set up and get ready for Christmas. How awesome. God has truly blessed us.
But there is also a heart of sadness - our daughter had a really bad week in her disease - someone found her wondering in her mobile home park, called the ambulance. She was extremely over medicated and had all the symptoms that go with that addiction. The EMTs took her to Charity Hospital. My husband contacted the proper personnel, had her PEC (Physician's Emergency Commimitted) for 72 hrs. He also talked to his friend about having her committed for treatment.
She of course left the hospital the next day - didn't stay the full 72 hrs. My AH is now talking to an attorney about thru legal channels to send her to long term treatment, if she doesn't, it would be in violation of her probation. He feels (& I agree) that he has to try one more time, so he can know he did everything to try to help her. If she doesn't do this, then once again, we will have to go with the "no contact".
Why does this always happen around Christmas? I would love to have her & her children for our Christmas with all our girls on Christmas night - but not yet - maybe one day. I'll still have Hope. Nothing is beyond my God's ability.
So, it makes me sad. Sad to see her suffer so from a disease that robs her of her dignity, self-esteem, her children, her life and her family. Sad of all the day, hours we miss.
So I'm filled with Joy, but filled with Sadness. . .
This too shall pass. . .
One Day at a Time,
Wishing all of you a peaceful & serene weekend,
Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
So happy for you about your new house. I know it has been a long awaited time with lots of stress. I'm also so sorry about your daughter. It is so sad to see a young person with so much life ahead of themselves to have to battle this disease. You have a good spirit about it. Nothing is too difficult for HP to deal with. I think if your AH feels he needs to attempt one more time to lead his daughter to recovery then that's what he should do. If she rejects it, that will be her choice to deal with. I will keep her in my prayers that she will be led to a place of safety and recovery. Will keep you in my prayers as well. Have a good weekend.
Peace,
Twinmom~
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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
Hello Rita , xmas is a bad time of yr for all A's sober or drinking , tis the season . Am so happy for you and new house for xmas tht will truly make for a merry xmas . Louise
How exciting!!!! I'm so happy for you after such a long wait. What a wonderful Christmas gift. I hope it will make the heartache you feel just a bit lighter to be busying yourself with the upcoming move.
take care, Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
The reasons why so many people get depressed at Christmas, or alcoholics seem to get worse, may have nothing to do with the holiday(s) themselves. This is the time of the winter solstice, the shortest days of the year, the farther north you are the less sunlight you get. Some rather straight forward scientific studies have shown that this by itself is depressing to many people.
I have always acknowledged the season as what it is. I've lived my whole life in something of a borderline latitude, where winters tend to be relatively mild with the occasional surprise. Even if we don't get 20 feet of snow per year, it's still dark when leaving work at 5 pm, or close to it. I think of December as kind of a downhill run to the solstice and after that, the days start getting longer again.
I did once spend two weeks in the tropics over Christmas/New Years. It was quite an interesting change. I was drinking then. It seemed very strange to be sitting on a beach eating turkey and having seagulls hounding you for handouts instead of cats! I haven't done it since, but wouldn't rule it out. Overall, I have mixed feelings about all the seasons which I guess equates to some kind of balance. There is no question I sleep best in cold weather, always have. That is something I look forward to when the leaves turn. But the first whiff of spring is always a treat as well.
I guess you could apply the adage, "I'm right where I'm supposed to be" to the seasons. It's December... it's cold like it's supposed to be, the days are short like they are supposed to be (unless you're in the southern hemisphere!). Maybe getting older, I don't find myself wishing for tomorrow to come so fast. Seems like it gets here fast enough. Today it's December.
One of the hardest things I've learned in my own recovery is that I never will feel a single emotion at one time or be dealing with a single issue at one time. I liken it to the man on Ed Sullivan that spins plates: there was a set of plates that were pretty steady on their own, and able to just spin with some, *some* attendence; there were plates that needed *mild* attendance; and some that needed *constant* attendance. For me, the plates that need *some* attendance are the issues with my parents: these are issues and feelings that will never go away, they will always be there. Recently, I got a bill from school for tution--this will create new waves of drama because it involves money, me, my education, and my parents (and, in my parents eyes, their standing in the community; however, I don't believe they fully understand how darn big 25,000 students is in a university). The plates that are needing *mild* attendence are things like my migranes, my depression, my pre diabetes, et cetera: following grandma's old adage that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, so long as I exercise, go to counceling, eat regularly, often and healthily, and see the proper professionals, I don't really need to "lose sleep" over the insanity of my conditons. As for the plates that need *constant* attendance, that'll vary: there's the politics at work (it's none of my business...but oh, the gossip's so juicy!); there's the fact that my advisor pleads non corpis mentis/persona non grata EVERY TIME the dean, the provost, the chair and ANYONE with the possibility of firing her asks "Why hasn't this been resolved? (responsibility....responsibility...oh, wait! I can't force anyone to do their jobs! *grimace!*)"; the reality that, generally speaking, I feel like I'm running on a treadmill when it comes to classes ("Honest professor, what you just assigned IS NOT on the sylabus!")....the list goes on and on. I have come to see that, as my plates spin, so will my feelings: I will never feel just *1* feeling, just like I have NEVER dealt with just *1* issue, in or out of recovery. It was no wonder I was nuts when I got here--I had so many issues, I made the NY Times look like an amateur! The solution? You know that. Work with a sponsor. Work with others. Feel the feelings. Pray. Work the steps. Do a daily 10th step. HALT. Surrender. Don't enable. Let our loved ones find the spiritual solution to the human problems. Seek them ourselves. Keep us posted.
