Thanksgiivng was pretty brutal for me but I made it through. I ended up with an enormous headache which  may have been sinus or migraine that went on for days.  I worked super hard not to go into super toxic resentment with the A.  I have to admit it was hard going but I kept at it.

As much as I would like to make the A the source of all my woes I do have other issues.  Some of them for me come from work.  I tend to get overinvolved not be able to see the big picture and not to know how to ask for more.  This week I managed to turn a negative situation into one where I got to get more hours (which I badly need of course).  I was really proud of my ability to detach and look for an opportunity I found it.  Normally I would be on total over whelm.

Recently I acquired a friend who has been really there for me in ways the A never has.  In some ways it is different because I don't feel the same craving with the A to make him "see me" I just can let go and see that this relationship will never be enough for me.  Of course getting out is not a linear road either and finances are and will be a huge issue for me for a long long time.  Nevertheless I have to say detachment and really focusing on not acquiring resentments is so so key for me at the moment. Baby steps I know but for me they are huge steps from being on the ceiling all the time to taking actions that benefit me rather than everyone else but me.

Maresie.