The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
May each of you have a blessed Thanksgiving Day where ever you are... and with whom ever you choose to spend it with. I'm thankful for this website and each of you who have been supportive and honest.
I'll be with my family and lots of extended family this year. Some people are coming that we haven't seen in a long while and some we don't really care to see. Isn't that the case some years? I have to remember though that those people in which don't always mesh or blend with everyone else need people to open their hearts and homes to them too. It should make for an interesting day.
Another interesting event for me... the A and I are tying the knot on Friday. Just a small family and friends gathering. It should be really beautiful. Then off to the ocenside for a weekend honeymoon. We have not had a vacation together since the boys were born, so I guess we're due for a break. We are both happy and excited to finally be taking our vows. Things are not perfect as for no couple, but we have sobriety, a program, and a purpose to continue working on our relationship and family in any means possible for success. I guess I have as good a chance as anyone else to have a good marriage. Its what two people are willing to give and make of it. So off we go both feet finally in the water. I know a great deal of you are against marrying A's or living with them. I respect those of you who have gone before me in marriage and have wonderful words of wisdom to give those of us who are still working through it. Just wanted to say that its because of your words of wisdom and your honest posts in your experiences that have gotten me to this point of recovery. This website has kept me connected to reality... I know my family is different... it will always be different. I'm grateful that I found Alanon when I did. It has helped me work through a great deal of personal fears, of which I'm still working out. It has helped me understand the disease of A'ism and my A. It has helped me take the necessary steps to make sure that my kids and I always have a plan B and a cushion behind us in case it all falls apart. The flip side to this fear of it all falling apart is that maybe it won't. I have no gaurentees... but as my sponser so eloquently put it... I have no gaurentees with anyone or anything in life.
So with that note I'll close and post back after the holiday... I'll keep you all in my thoughts for a wonderful holiday.
Peace,
Twinmom~
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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
Well happy thanksgiving to you too! Havent heard much from you on the board, but it seems you have been busy.
Congratulations!!! I really mean that. Your husband to be... father of your children, is sober and in a program. Your program has shown itself in your compassion, your kindness and your strength and I can't think of a single reason to not be thrilled for you.
Though I am seperated from my AW at the moment and struggling with that, I have told her even today that I have no desire for divorce and that we just keep moving forward and search for the path that makes the most sense.
Be gentle with each other, and keep your sense of humor.... any marriage needs that. You and yours are always in my prayers and as Kis related... I wish you enough!
Take care of you!
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
Sending tons of prayers & good thoughts that Friday is a wonderful day for you & your A - that the wedding & your marriage is blessed beyond your dreams. Enjoy the moments, let your HP have the worry and concerns of the future (He can handle it) - bask in the happiness of the occasion - I'm sure that you will be a beautiful bride.
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
I am certainly glad you are in reality about the marriage. I know I hooked up with the A in total fantasy. I think my relationship is very very different in reality.
I also think I am not a person who makes good decisions about long term relationships. If I ever get in another relationship (which right now I am convinced I will never do) I would want to check it out with people who were grounded around me.
I think you have explored the pros and cons. I think you've also looked at your own codependence which is very painful to do.
I know a great deal of you are against marrying A's or living with them. I respect those of you who have gone before me in marriage and have wonderful words of wisdom to give those of us who are still working through it. Just wanted to say that its because of your words of wisdom and your honest posts in your experiences that have gotten me to this point of recovery. This website has kept me connected to reality... I know my family is different... it will always be different. I'm grateful that I found Alanon when I did. It has helped me work through a great deal of personal fears, of which I'm still working out. It has helped me understand the disease of A'ism and my A. It has helped me take the necessary steps to make sure that my kids and I always have a plan B and a cushion behind us in case it all falls apart. The flip side to this fear of it all falling apart is that maybe it won't. I have no gaurentees... but as my sponser so eloquently put it... I have no gaurentees with anyone or anything in life. 
