Last night I watched a documentary on HBO "Thin".  I thought it was pretty riveting stuff.

One of the huge issues the women confront is the lies.  That is one of my huge issues with the A everything is a lie.  Another is their rebelliousness and inability to follow orders. They live in an incredibly structured unit and they seem to find many many creative and self destructive ways to rebel and not follow a program.

I am going to watch it again a few times (one of the joys of HBO).  I really got a lot out of this program.  Some of the women talk about their whole life becomes their addiction. I think the same could be said for me on many levels my whole life can become the A, responding to him. over reacting to him, worrying about him, obsessing about leaving him, feeling hurt by him, feeling sorry for him, feeling controlled by him, feeling resentful at him.  There is nothing much else there some days.

Another thing that was super clear was that the relatives of the women were just totally burned to the crisp and the addicts just could not understand it. They were still there asking for stuff that no one had left to give.  They  had no ability to perceive others had had enough and could do no more.  I have always wondered why the A could not see I wa burned to the crisp but now I know the addiction takes over and he can't perceive that at all.

So I would highly recommend it as viewing to understand addiction. I know when I am right up front I can't see it. I am still in there in the quicksand of trying to manage it.

Maresie.