The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
"Not every decision is a good one, just because I made it"
"What is most important, the intentions someone has or the results that materialize?"
These are quotes from my sponsor who I spoke with at length today.
I remember the first time I sat in front of what was then called a Computer. It was 1987. The internet didn't exist for the general publics use, and a computer was not much more than a fancy Word Processor, where you ran the Word Processor by putting one large (5 inch disk) into the computer, and when you were done typing, you put another large disk in it to save your material to. There were a few basic software programs that allowed a person to play a pretty cheesy game, or use a computerized calendar, but nothing close to todays technology.
Then Microsoft put out another program called DOS, (Dynamic/Digitalized Operating System). Radio Shack and the Tandy Corp, brought this to the public. The computers now had a hard drive inside to store information on. A big hard drive back then was 512kg (most likely over a thousand times smaller than the one you are currently using) and the fast processing speed for a pc was about 64mhz. Hundreds of times slower than todays standard desk top computers. The internet became a public domain, everyone could get on it now. Slower than a snell that was depressed, but available. Two companies called Prodgy and AOL created software that allowed people to gather from all over the world in chat rooms, Send email messages to each other. Back then to see what someone said in a room, you would have to regularly hit a refresh button, so that what they had put into the room, would appear on your screen.
Not being a techy kind of person but absolutely amazed by this stuff, I started to learn on my own how to use a DOS and AOL software to get around the Internet. It wasn't easy back then. To even get started was a task. You would turn on the computer and get a blinking
<c>
now you had to type stuff to get the computer to do what you wanted, like..
<c>dir AOL
it would change to a blinking
</AOL>
and now you typed more stuff to get it to access the area on AOL you wanted to get into, which was pretty limited by todays standards.
Then in 1990 Microsoft came out with Windows 3.1 software. Man, this coupled with color monitors was like high cotton, alot more bells and whistles, and the computer mouse became a more common household item.
Windows 95 came out a while later (in 1995) which brought another batch of goodies to the computer including pretty poor video imaging. This is the the time when the Internet Era took off. IRC server programs, similar to what our rooms on MIP currently sit on became a hit gathering place for online junkies. Emails started really flying all over the place in cyberspace. Private messenging via AOL buddy list, Yahoo, ICQ were a blast.
So, Ol' John here, though self taught, looked to most common folks like a computer geek. When in reality, I knew very little about them, or the Internet. I knew how to turn it on, and get into a chat room, send and recieve an email, and get literally so lost in cyberspace that I would have to reboot my computer to get back to my starting point.
Web sites impressed me. Business and Information on every subject was available now. Personal web sites, made by regular people were becoming common, but to me it appeared you would have to take a college level course to learn how to make a web page and then another one to get it posted somewhere out there in cyberspace for the world to find. Yahoo was becoming a big hit. You could get a free email account, free private messaging, and even a free place to put a web page and they provided a way for illiterates like me to make a page from a template, and a easy way to add material to the page. No software knowledge nescessary. So, being an adventurous sort, I attempted to make my first web page and post it on the internet.
It was pretty pitiful but I was so darn proud of it. I made my first recovery based web page! There wasn't much competition in cyberspace back then so if someone was looking for recovery stuff on the Internet they would usually find my site. It didn't have a chatroom, or even a message board back then. Just some real basic information about the 12 Steps, how to find a meeting in your own community, and my personal story with a guest book that people who visited the page could sign. This was in 1996.
By 1997 I had figured out how to get people into a chatroom from my web site, put up a pretty lousy message board that would only store a total of 25 messages/and replies at a time. But at this time, this was high tech stuff for someone like me to acheive. So many times, my efforts to learn more resulted in making things worse. I would hit the wrong computer key at the wrong time and suddenly, the web page, the message board, everything I had worked on was absolutely gone. Lost somewhere in cyberspace but no longer on my Yahoo space. So, I would start all over.
Having done this a good number of times, I learned alot of do's and don'ts.
In 1998 Windows came out with Windows 98 Operating System and I made my first web page from scratch and called it Miracles In Progress. It became a gathering spot for alot of AA members very fast. Shortly after its creation, Al-Anon members started showing up, not many but a few really strong ones. Eventually, I was asked if I would create a page just for them, with their own room, message board, etc. I gladly obliged them. Then in 2000 came childhood abuse survivors, then 2001 ACA's, and most recently, 2005,Narcotic Anonymous members started asking to have a place on the site. Today I have request from OverEaters, CoDepentents, and Emotions Anonymous for web site space and material on Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums.
In 1998 Computer and Internet technology was advancing so fast it was hard to keep up with it all, so I just plugged along as best I could trying to figure this and that out as I went. A voice chat program, where you could actually talk in the rooms and listen to people share called Firetalk hit the scene. Well, wanting to keep up with the times, I moved all the MIP rooms off IRC text chat and set them up on Firetalk. This turned out to be both a good decision and a bad decision. AA's loved it. Their meeting room was packed with 40 -50 people a night. The group had about 100 regular members. Al-Anons group had over 400 members but they hated the voice chat, because they couldn't share openly, in private like text chat allows, without the Alcoholic in the home hearing everything they and everyone else in the room had to say. So, Al-Anon's group started to diminish very quickly. On a good night there might be 5 - 8 people in their meetings. A sudden drop from 15-20 at every meeting. Same thing happened with the Abuse Survivors group members for the same reasons. ACA's didn't care either way, as long as they could gather together and share ES&H with eachother for the most part. Their group never got really big, but it didn't get any smaller on voice chat either.
It didn't take long to realize I had made a mistake regarding the needs of Al-Anon's and Abuse Survivors, so I hurriedly moved them back to the IRC text chat. Leaving the AA's on Voice Chat. Well, this turned out to be a task for me to keep up with. Having some groups over here, and other groups over there. Trying to help all of them get things consistent and stablized and having to provide 2 and 3 different set of instructions on how to use the different rooms, set up meeting schedules for each, what the different chat room protocols were and why, etc, and of course keep the information regarding all this on the web site up to date. I was literally spending full time work hours, 40+ or more a week in front of my computer trying to keep every one happy... and I finally wore myself completely out.
I annouced that if the AA group wanted to stay on what became PalTalk voicechat it was up to them, but they would have to take care of all their own arrangements, and I was going to have to stay focused on the MIP web site and operating from there as my base so to speak. The AA's wanted to stay on voice chat. All the Al-Anon's were elated that their room was being put back on the site via text chat, and very quickly the Al-Anon group recovered from the decline in membership as a result of my taking them over to voice chat. I stayed focused on the MIP web site. A few AA members also wanted to just hang out around the site area, not venture into the voicechat stuff, etc, so they asked if I'd be willing to sit it back up for them on the site. Of course I did. However, the AA group didn't last long on the voice chat, it fail apart for a variety of reasons I won't go into at this time, but it was a sad time for me. Even though I had backed out of the voice chat room and being responsible for catering to its needs, to have seen this group grow in leaps and bounds and then to see it die slowly but surely was heart breaking for me. The AA group never recovered, not on our site or in voicechat. It was reduced to a message board interchange and not much more. Whatever took place in voice chat had broken the spirit of the group as a whole.
The Al-Anon group stayed plugged in. Today many of its members are members that helped start and establish the group in its beginning in late 1998, early 1999. Members who have been around since 2000, 2001, and 2002 is common in this group. Yes, there have been a few situations that rocked the boat, that rattled everyone involved, but these folks never gave up, not on themselves, me, MIP, or the group. They weathered the storms and brought calm to the sea of recovery and Miracles In Progress without fail. They lifted me up when on numerous occassions I was on the verge of throwing in the towel and giving up, shutting it down and walking away.
If asked who I would give credit to regarding Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery forums, it would not be myself at all. It would be the God of my understanding and the many Al-Anon's that made the worse days a little brighter, that provided love when I wasn't so darn lovable, that stood solid in support of me as both my parents passed away in the early days and I wept all over my keyboard. That stood in support of me as I was put through some of the toughest investigations by the state Board of Psychology and Medical Board and a DA's office after being falsely accused of providing online therapy without a license and providing prescription drug medications over the internet without a license. In fact, I was watching the World Trade Center be attacked and on the phone with an investigator from the Medical Board at the same time. All of these allegations against me were eventually found to be deceptive retaliations and dropped. Al-Anon's stood by me when I had to go against a board certified, licenced therapist in board hearings and court rooms to get his license revoked and financial compensation paid out to 5 clients for whom he had basically erased their real histories via hypnois and inserted his own version of history in their memory which included false memory syndrome involving Satanic Ritual Abuse and childhood Goverment Mind Control Experiments. These people became his pray in the Miracles In Progress Childhood Abuse Survivors group and suffered from Dissociative Identity Disorder, formerly called Multiple Personality Disorder. I had to travel and collect evidence that he was calling out sexually promisuous alter personalities, and having sex with them, then putting them back inside, without the knowledge or consent of the client and charging it to their insurance as a "therapy session". He and a former US President have alot in common. Denial until clothing, linens, etc are produced for DNA testing which showed positive results for semen stains. His license was revoked, the five ladies with the help of myself and 3 attorneys won legal law suits which resulted in large finanical settlements, and he ended up in jail for fraud. Upon getting released a year later, he was charged, and convicted of kidnapping and raping a 16 old old girl. This group stood by me in many ways as I went through a back surgery in 1999, lung surgery in 2000 and brain surgery after an anyerism in 2001. Without many devoted, consistent, loyal members of this Al-Anon group, Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums most likely would have been brought to an end by me back then for my own sake and well being. But when I couldn't walk, many stood up for me, when I couldn't breath many shared the breath of life with me and when my brain was wacked out completely... your love and patience restored me to sanity.
You ever wonder why I run such a tight ship, ever watching, monitoring, intervening in certain types of interactions between group members online? Why all my "stuff" gets triggered when there is so much as a message board post that even just lightly leans towards bringing my integrety, motives, honesty, etc. into question? Simply because the legal liability and cost to me personally as the founder and webmaster of Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums can be very real when something goes on here, that jeapardizes peoples safety on this site. I know because I have faced the cost of it in more than one way over the years. Not to mention that on a number of occassions, one persons conduct, which is inappropriate for this type of site, allowing someone to do artificial trust building amounst group members, get support and group member alignment with them and then upon my being a bit too slow to confront them can result in damaging the morale of group members and divide us in many ways that hurts not just individuals but the group(s) as a whole. If you don't think I get heart broke when this sort of thing happens, you are very wrong.
I have seen sexual prediators pray on members of the Al-Anon group. Just a year or so ago, (maybe two years) we had a man that was so loved by the majority of our group members, a chairperson, spent numerous hours a day in our room who was nothing short of this. In fact, he went to visit females from our group and some went to visit him. On one occassion, upon paying for a womans flight to visit him, when she would not have sexual relations with him, he told her she had to leave his home and then he would not cough up the ticket he had told her he would pay for her return home. She was stuck in California, not knowing anyone else there, from the east coast area. A group of 3 Al-Anon members (from our online group) put the money together to get her a plane ticket back home. Woman in Al-Anon who really need to be here, that are truly vunerable meets nice man online, talk for hours in PM's with him, fall in love, etc... only to find out he is doing exactly the same thing with several other woman in the room, who also don't know what he is truly about. Their safe haven in our room is destoyed. They leave never to return... He stays until he is confronted by me, which the remaining group members don't understand my doing. Many rally around him, I determine its in the best interest and safety of Miracles In Progress to ban him from all areas on the forum, and suddenly I'm the bad guy. The group goes into a tail spin, members leave, chairpersons resign, etc. under the impression I'm being unfair, controlling, etc. Similar situations have unfolded in our room a number of times, where John turns into the bad guy. However, let me assure everyone, I'd much rather have a safe empty room, than a full room that jeapardizes the needy, the vunerable peoples safety... be it emotionally, mentally, physically or financially. If I can't keep it safe to some reasonable degree, I better go ahead and shut it down. I feel I owe this responsibility to anyone who ventures into the world of Miracles In Progress; attempt to maintain a safe environment to the best of my ability, and I am not going to sweat how much I'm liked for it or hated for it.
I have seen members do the poor me routine in our room... without asking for a dime they will tell a story of woe is me. Al-Anon's being a generous lot, reach out to help this person. This person never reveals that the $180.00 electric bill was covered by someone else and collects $180.00 from no less then 8 of our group members. Once they whined about computer problems for days. Three group members bought this one person... three computers without their ever revealing that the problem had already been taken care of by the first computer donator. Ol' John confronts, bans this person from the room for frauduantly gaining funds and material from our group members, and the group throws a fit at me for being mean to this poor soul... that they don't know anything about, nor were they subjected to this persons deceptions.
Heck, about 4-5 years ago, we had one person living in a homeless shelter in Georgia, using a public libarys computer to access our room, and they produced a story about how they couldn't pay their rent and was going to be evicted if they didn't come up with the money to pay it. Both Al-Anons and AA members sent this person a tremendous amount of money collectively, without eachothers knowledge, to help them out under the impression that this person was able to save their apartment. When I confronted this person, and also told the donators to this person what was happening in the background of our room, guess what? This person simply went to another online room to do exactly the same thing there, and several of our group members trust in online meetings and friendships were destroyed, their safe haven had become a "unsafe" place for them... several left and only a few have since returned since being hoaxed like this online.
Another year and we'll have been a Internet presence for 10 years. I've made many decisions and no, not all of them were good ones simply because "I" made them. Some were really poor decisions that created opportunities to learn, grow, learn and practice this program. Regardless of my almighty intentions, the results tell the truth in all things.
Many times I have hated the day I ever sat in front of that computer with 5 inch floopy disk trying to figure out how to use it. However, when I look into the Al-Anon room I am quickly reminded why I am here, and its not all about me. It's for that person who is so tired, so lonely, so afraid, so angry, so lost... just trying to find their way in a dark world.
My greatest hope is that they will always be able to find the path of light, hope and healing when they click that mouse and enter this site.
Thank you for taking your time to read this post.
When I say I love you, it is in a very safe way, but a very real heart felt way.
Yours In Recovery,
John
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" And what did we gain? A new life, with purpose, meaning and constant progress, and all the contentment and fulfillment that comes from such growth."
Thanks for the post John, and for being you. Your service to this board, and to our respective recoveries, does NOT go unnoticed. I, for one, truly appreciate all you do for us.
In recovery,
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I have usually struggled with the problem of taking things personally. On one hand when I use to do that I always found myself at the end of a chain swinging from a crane being used as a wrecking ball during demolition. It hurt and was messy and I didn't like the swinging back and forth, back and forth. How was I to stop or moderate it? I didn't know until I started listening to oldtimers talk about investment in recovery. You have invested. You have invested deeply and widely in your recovery and the recovery of others. The twelveth step is the clasp in a chain of steps and like yourself it is my intention to work it as a daily part of my recovery. I don't get to control or own how it comes out for others. Like you I do it and do it while with my HP inspite of how it comes out. I can understand the thief, the liar and the cheat and I no longer ask the question, "Why to me?" I know because of my own experiences and because of the 4th - 10th steps. "Why me?" My sponsor taught me a different version of that question. It is asked, "Why not me?" The value of the second version comes thru the filter of the recovery experience. It is better with you in the picture, standing next to your Higher Power and your sponsor with this program of recovery than just alone. What would the outcome then be for you, for others?
The word is "Trudging" the road of happy destiny. This is why, I have learned, they did not use the work "skipping".
You've done good John. Better and more than others. You have invested deeply and widely and because of a "Spiritual Awakening you have tried to carry this message to others and practice these principals in all your affairs..." Sounds like progress to me.
Grasp the program...let go of the people. Throw one hand over the opposite shoulder and pat yourself nicely on the back then throw the other hand over the other shoulder and give a loving squeeze. If I were there I would do it but I ain't so....
PS I only had a very small glimpse of your story and I know this is only a part of it. Man I use to think I was good. I am truely humbled.
Thanks so much for this post. As a relative newbie I enjoyed reading the history of this site. You had me in tears at the sacrfices you personally have made to keep this our safe place.
What can I say but a heartfelt thankyou for your time, knowledge and expertise. I appreciate it.
Thank-you from the bottom of my heart for having this online alanon room.
When by the grace of God I found this room I was at the lowest point of my life.
I had no transportation, lived in a rural area and was married to an abusive active alcoholic.
This group has saved my life and my sanity. They shone the light of alanon knowledge and lit the path out of my pit of despair.
In time, I was able to make my plan B, buy a vehicle and go to face to face alanon. I still came to the room for recovery. I have seen many changes here, and always, wonderful recovery, camaraderie and alanon.
In support
Megan
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Megan
If you want things you never had you need to do things you have never done
More than anything I admire your courage in using those 5 inch floppy disks .... i had one of those things. It came with a desk attached to it, I saw that C:> thing pop up put a disk in and when nothing happened I went back to play Nintendo *laugh* Once they finally made a screen with some color and things that moved I hammered the loud metal box that was supposed to be a computer out of the desk and tried to throw it away but nobody would take it .... I wonder how I ever did get rid of it?
I am fairly new to MIP and reading it's history and your efforts in providing a safe place for us all was an eye opener. I am naive at times, and had never thought of this site as being a place that could be used for selfish intentions. I have always been grateful to be able to come here, now i understand and appreciate the time and dedication it takes. Thank you for all the hard decisions you have had to make. Right or wrong they've brought about a very special place.
Oh boy John! You brought back memories! I remember spending hours writing little dos programs just to make a name scroll across the screen.
It is truly amazing how far computers have developed in so short a time. I use them every day for my job, recreation, finances, education and of probably best of all, for my recovery. And I still believe that with all the high technology involved, there is still someone with a magic wand (or maybe it is the hand of God) that really makes the whole thing work.
Anyway, regarding this website which you created. I have been "coming" here for just over 2 yrs now, (Sept. 04). When I first started the site was in the winding down stage of a "conflict" with somethings going on with people in the room leaving to another web site and I was even recruited to try out the other site too. Well hell! I didnt care about the politics of it, I just thought, Great! two places I can go. I would sit with windows to both rooms open and "listen" to both. It didnt take long though, before I just couldnt do it anymore. Too many conversations....too much much going on at the same time for this feller to keep up with. So I chose one. I chose MIP. I chose it because it was established. It had been around a while. The was a lot more membership. But mostly because of the people who were there. The other room would sometimes talk ill of MIP, that I should stay in the other because there was "real" recovering going on there. Something about that turned me off. Why did they need to advertise to me. I was in both, I could see for myself. No one in MIP ever told me, pick us! we are the best! (and so for me they were the best)
MIP is my home group. I have learned more from this place than anywhere else. I attend two different ftf groups every week and have been doing that since april 04. But MIP is still home.
From the bottom of my heart John, thank you.
Thank you for providing this wonderful "home" for us to meet in. It is a special place. Thank you for doing the best you can to keep it safe and to keep the roof patched and the plumbing working.
None of us is perfect. We all make mistakes. That is why we need each other.
John, to the world you are but one, to us you are the world. Never underestimate the sacrifice and kindness you have shown to others whilst having your own struggles along the way. Luv Leo xxx
Never in a million years would I question your judgement, integrity or dedication to this wonderful place. You are truly one of the unsung angels on this earth.
There will always be naysayers, negative people and people who just want to make other people's lives miserable because they have nothing better to do. It's at those times that I try and remember how truly sick they are. I thank HP that I am not one of those people.
So here's to you and all you do for us.
From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for everything you have done. It was because of this board that I began my recovery. When your days are done on this earth, there is no doubt where you will be going. You are an .
Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong,
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Such is the makings of a really great journey. I can only imagine what it's like to look back on what's been accomplished. They say it's all about the journey, not the destination -- wow. I'd just like to say thank you for being a really good "bad guy."
I can't even imagine the road you have traveled for us to be able to have MIP to share our E,S, & H. Thank you, Thank you and Thank You many times over.
Please accept my humble amends for not taking the time to say thank you prior to this - but I am very grateful for your efforts to keep MIP a safe place for us. As far as the "c:<" - I have no idea what you are talking about - my computer knowledge was very limited at that time. So my hat is off to you for working thru the kinks of computer language at the time when it wasn't user-friendly.
Thank you so very much for your devotion to MIP and know that you are in my prayers for special blessings always,
Learning to live Happy, Joyous and Free, One Day at a Time,
Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
Wow,what an amazing story. I was so glad to hear how MIP started and amazed and SO grateful that you kept at it to bring it to where it is today. I also had no idea how much work it involved,computers totally faze me.
What I can say is this......when I came to this site I was in a really bad way. Living in Turkey and having absolutely NO outlet for the frustration and pain I was going through living with abusive,active alcoholism and no Alanon or literature........this site quite literally saved my sanity and probably my life. THANK YOU JOHN from the bottom of my heart. I have been priviledged to know you all and have learned the most amazing life giving skills,which I would not have had without each and every person who posts on this site,and the sheer dedication of people like yourself. True heroes in my book!!and I salute you.
I don't get on as often as I would like these days because it's been hard to keep my computer lines open and communication system isn't so good at the moment. But every opportunity I get to go to the internet cafe I do try to keep up with whats going on and I do try to post when I can. I signed up for MIP about one year ago,and can honestly say that I give thanks to my HP every single day for it and the very dear people I have had the pleasure to get to know here.
Wow John, i didnt think i was a part of mip,after reading everything you went through over the years i can remember most. never ever thought i was accepted here, In the past i have been told i am beyond alanon. I do know i have been one of your more difficult members. I remeber the first time i came in the room in 1999. You were holding a question and answer session for the members for 20 minutes and i was asking you about fake it till you make it and i didnt grasp it and i debated with you. You took me in to pm and you explained it to me for over an hour in full detail. I remeber being stunned that you did this. I also had no idea you were the founder at this time.
Eventually i became a very active member with mip, and you oped me in the acoa room, and the healing room and the alanon room(lol) I remember the thing you went through with that room i remember you having to explain it more than once as the members with mpd were confused on who to believe. One member even came to montreal to talk against you. You never let it phase you even though you were stressed about it yourself. You could of very well shut down the site because that blame was huge. Especially with there being a whole website with allegations on you about it. You have come a long way John. Feels like yesturday.
I remember being in conflict with you also and lashing out at you. I remember all of the things that happened that you posted here except one. We have had some good arguements havent we lol. I always got caught up in what was going on always. I thought cause i was oped in so many rooms. I still do get caught up at times however im better now with a recent slip though.
I thought i wasnt apart of mip, in my sick mind i thought alot would be happy with my leaving( a certain few probably were hehe ) after i left you with no word, after so much work i did for you i found it really hard to leave and i felt guilty for years. The feeling of not being accepted was stronger for me and i did not have the courage to say goodbye to you or anyone else. My separation was happening and i couldnt deal. I was with mip for 3 years before i left and then i left for 2 years. I came back in 2004 and things were changed a few members from when i was here however not many and you were not so active as you once were. However many more sites and really busy. Of course i did get caught up again even with my mother on her death bed i got caught up in the drama that was going on with something you posted that happened. I lashed out at everyone and everything if they looked at me sideways or said what i thought to be a insult or shot on me i didnt hesititate,after my mother died. I went a little to far with some members and I was deoped by you lol
I was so angry at that and i did my share of complaing about you and how unfair you were, I was so sure I was going to leave mip again and never return. I would think that service is a thankless job and that alanon really wasnt for me and i felt completely unaccepted again. Not long after this my computer died and i was left without one for months. This is when i really figured out wth my sponsor how angry i was and i did a ton of work to try to let it go. You have always accepted me back into your room and i do know i have told you off in detail often over the years. lol Kept ya on your toes hehehe. What always shocked me is you did listen to a point.
God you have put up with so much in these room and im sure you have had other difficulties out side of what you posted with different members (i remember) lol. My alanon group was far from recovery in f2f was more of a social gathering who they delegated service to so they wouldnt have to do it, and guess who pickedi t up (yours truly) lol. I remember you giving me tips when i opened my alateen f2f. Mip has been the only recovery i have seen and now i only come to mip as there is no more alanon in my area. I want to thank you so much for all you have put up with from me with my anger and vents and being triggered in chat.
There is often times where people never get thanked in a proper way because we are so caught up in what we are going through we forget the good, I know i often dont think to ask how are you doing is there anything i could do for you. Can i listen?. We forget the bigger picture of what we have. Truly is a family here, not sane one all the time, however certainly saner than my own. I know how much stress you must feel because i can feel it when i do a little extra service work or when i decide to do something on my own never without your ok though. I can feel the affects. Thank you for never banning me( i know i deserved it more than once lol) Thank yo ufor putting up with my stuborness and vents and all that stuff.
Thank you for providing me with a family i never have had in my life til i came to you. I know alot dont like me however i do know that alot do love me here. I also know your one of em hehehe
Thank you for everything you have done for us thank you for caring about us. In a very big way cause this entire site not just alanon has saved the lives of 1000's maybe more in the years its been opened, and for someone who has never asked for thanks just keeps improving our site. Trying to make us happy, Trying to deal with the ones that are not. I hope one day to meet you at a mip anniversary so i can say thank you to your face.I hope you dont ever let anything get you down to the point where you would shut this site down im sure you thought about it more than once. I hope i can write something like this again in a few years. When i write the book i have always wanted to (based on true story) This family will be included( no names no worries)
ITs something really huge you have here. Thank you so much for the rooms that have saved my life in a very big way.
I love you and all
kerry
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Life can only be understood backwards, But it must be lived forwards
Thanks for the history...very interesting.Wow, what you have gone thru.
I just want to thank you again for staying with this site and not giving up.As someone else said,MIP is my home group as well.This is where I found myself and my life at a very,very difficult time.I know God led me here because I had looked for Alanon sites before and could never find one where I felt comfortable.
Everyday someone is helped by the recovery on the message boards or in chat or meetings here.I appreciate all you do to keep this a safe place, I know it's a difficult task.It IS the WORLD WIDE WEB, after all.
I started playing with computers before there was MIP, before there was WWW, before there was usenet, compuserve, before Windows, before Apple, before DOS, before CP/M, before the Altair.
My online experience began about the same time as my sobriety and as a result, I've adapted some 12-step principles to my online activities. I've ended up running a few things and tried to treat them more like I was chairing a meeting, than being a dictator.
But... the fact of the matter is, like it or not, online forums are dictatorships. That's not good, bad, evil, it's just a fact. Whoever has the keys and pays the bills makes the rules... period. Enforcement, consensus, group conscience aside - bottom line is, there is one person or group that has the responsibility for the site.
This is NOT how AA, Alanon, and other 12-step *programs* are defined. But it IS how various facilities, especially clubhouses/meeting centers, are administered. They are separate entities because they involve money and property - as they should be.
What I'm saying is, this board is not Alanon. This board is a meeting place for Alanon, one of thousands. The rules and administration here are equivalent to "house rules". Alanon may not ban smoking, but the church in which a group meets may not allow smoking. So, we follow house rules.
The other point I wanted to make was about safety, feeling safe, etc. Safety like all things is relative. A board like this may provide an extra layer of anonymity that f2f meetings do not, but that works both ways. Unlike f2f meetings, I can't look around the room and see how many people are listening and who they are. It's safe in that I've never had anyone reach out of my computer screen and harm me, but it's unsafe in that we have an audience of millions, not a few tens.
As an online veteran of many venues, I have learned a few things about watching my back and what not. Share what you are comfortable sharing - anonymity at this level allows a greater depth of sharing sometimes. But it makes it all the more important to *protect* that anonymity.
And just like f2f meetings - take what you can use and leave the rest.
I am very grateful for this website and thank you very much for setting it up and keeping it running. I cannot imagine all the work it entails, but I know that the shares of the Alanon and ACOA members have meant a lot to me.
I didn't think the brouhaha over the cookbook truly stemmed from questioning of your integrity as much as it seems there were probably some innocent miscommunications and misunderstanding.
I do think you should post this message on all the various website pages as a warning to all users who are here for recovery. I don't think we can be reminded too often that others who come here may have motives of financial gain and/or are possibly sexual predators. Here on web we can only know the messenger from the message and let's face it, we cannot know much. People have to be wary before they offer up any personal info about themselves and/or think twice about getting together with others they meet on the web. None of us wants to think about ourselves or other members being victimized.
I never knew the history of this website, thank you for the explanation and history of what you have gone through. Obviously you have made a difference in many people's lives and thank you so much for having integrity enough to stand up for people and shut unhealthy people out when they are spotted. It is unfortunate that there are people that are that sick that they prey on people who are hurting the most.
Thank you so much for this site. I have just joined in about April of this year, and I have learned more and been able to be of service to others more than any face to face meeting. There are some wonderful, loving people here who need to connect with each other.
Thank you for your beginning, and know in your heart that you are making it right for all of us, and helping MANY people....
Hey John - A great job bringing the history of this site up to date - And a great big THANK YOU to you!!!
I feel honored to have been a part of helping you cope in the tough times. The tough times are very minimal compared to all the love and support that is shared here everyday by all of us and the hope that a newcomer feels when he/she has no where else to go.
I can't say I am sorry enough about how my questions were taken wrongly. Had I know what a tornado my questions would have caused (I am still reeling from the shock) I promise you I would have kept my mouth shut and forgot all about it.
You have seen to the removal of all of my posts so I will have to remind you that in my ORIGINAL post about the cookbook, before anything was taken wrongly I stated that even though the cookbook was promised to be "sold at cost plus shipping" I said that perhaps some money ought to be added to that cost to help support MIP and that I would gladly pay it. I would not have said that if I had any question at all about the ethics of how the money generated from MIP is handled.
I have never questioned your integrity, motives, or actions at all. I just asked questions about the cookbook...sigh.
This board is so well run CLEARLY you work very very hard at keeping it running smoothly, and that is only what I see in alanon, you run so many more boards, your recovery house...sheesh I don't know how you do it. But SO very thankful that you do.
Like Megan, I must say that this board has just about saved my life. I have no car am in a bad situation at present and without this board I don't know where I would be, I can attend my F2F only sporadically and this board is my main alanon "home". I don't know where I would be had not you through this board, and so many others, offered me a hand up out of the pit of despair that I was in when I came here. My first day here I was crying so hard that I could barely see the keys to type!
I am so happy that I have grown enough in this program with your help and so many others that I can see past any human imperfection, problems, recovery issues etc. to see the good that you do and offer a heartfelt thank you.
((((((((((((((((((John)))))))))))))))))))))))
I hope you have calmed down enough now that you can accept my heartfelt "thank you" and my money contributions again.
Thank you for all you do. This site has saved my life, I ofund it for the first time 5 years ago, I came into the room as Truely, and you all took me in and saved me from me.
Because of that I began my work in f2f meetings, and have been hooked ever since.
Thanks doesn't sound like enough. The service I can provide is nothing compared to your service, but it is my way of saying thank you.
Yours in recovery,
Mandy
__________________
"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
I am grateful for the MIP boards (I lurk here and on the ACOA board). I am somewhat new here - only finding these boards last year. I can't imagine how daunting a task it is to monitor these sites - but I appreciate the fact that you are willing to do just that to provide us with a safe place to meet.
Some things in this life we take for granted. I suppose we log on in the room and don't really think about who started it, what it takes to run it, and who has all the stresses of this job.
So I just want to say THANK YOU JOHN for doing what you are doing, and for not giving up.
This has been a life saver for myself, and I imagine everyone of your members.
You are a very much loved human being
YOU make a difference to so many unhappy people in this world (even scotland lol).
(((John)))) Wow, I never knew. I was lead to this place by someone in an AA program, on a very dark, scary New Year's Day in 2006. I was at the end of my rope, at the end of my life....my husband had left me....again.
Had it not been for you sitting in front of a computer all those many years ago, I, for one, may not be sitting in front of my computer today. You are an angel.
Thanks for the history lesson. Very interesting. I treasure this site even more, knowing how it came about.
Please don't ever go away John. We need you, and we need MIP. Thank you for being every watchful, and doing what needs to be done. We often do not know the entire story of what goes on. The same way when problems arise in churches, or other groups, and sides get taken, people get mad and leave. But often the whole ugly story is just not understood.
I have never spoken to, or met in person any of my fellow MIP members. All we mainly know of each other is the written word. Thanks for keeping us safe.
This group stood by me in many ways as I went through a back surgery in 1999, lung surgery in 2000 and brain surgery after an anyerism in 2001. Without many devoted, consistent, loyal members of this Al-Anon group, Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums most likely would have been brought to an end by me back then for my own sake and well being. But when I couldn't walk, many stood up for me, when I couldn't breath many shared the breath of life with me and when my brain was wacked out completely... your love and patience restored me to sanity.
. 
