The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I got really sick 4 months ago - my spirit and mind ganged up on my body and forced me to confront the problems with my marriage. I was swimming in the denial river for quite awhile. H is in midlife crisis and deals with his problems by drinking, staying out to all hours, coming home smelling of booze, cheap perfume and smoke. "I don't mean to hurt you or daughter but need something else "
Physically my thyroid levels won't level out, can't sleep with out Ativian, I am concerned the effect this has on my 17 year old daughter and generally i feel lousy. I am better from July but still a long way from "normal"
I made my first Al-anon meeting about a month ago and have been to several - 3 in one week. I am trying to work the program, moving the 12 steps (well at least the first 3 so far) from my mind to my heart and really making the change is so hard. Especially with health problems that affect your mind as much as thyroid does.
I see a counselor weekly, get accupunture treatments and pray. But my health problems really get in the way of focusing on what I need to do to move on.
Any thoughts on how to keep moving forward - is it common to do anti depressants and anxiety drugs - how do we get off them? I don't drink now (some in my younger day) and don't want to end up hooked on some "legal drug".
One thing I haven't heard you say is if you got a sponsor. When we sponsor ourselves through the steps, what we're really doing is using the solutions that brought us to al anon initially (and to insanity), and we're not seeking new ones. It would also be pertinant to establish a home group and see if you can start doing service work.
If you are needing perscription sleep aids and anti anxiety medicines, you may want to consider a councelor. You would want a sponsor to work with you on al anon because al anon seeks spiritual solutions through the 12 steps; a councelor suggests behavioral changes through daily living. Using both is a common, and helpful, way of recovery.
I am very glad you are here and attending face to face meetings. I hope that you have a sponsor to help you through those steps. You truly are in the right place. It is up to you to decide if the prescription drugs are causing an addiction.
I too was a physical wreck for several months before I made up my mind to detach with love. First I had Lyme desease which wouldn't go away. Then I hurt my back tubing on a river. Then the bone spur in my heel decided to punish me good and finally I cut my hand on a can of cat food and neede 6 stitches and of course I was never able to sleep because I was waiting for the phone to ring. I did manage to eat tons of junk and gain a lot of weight. I felt like my life was out of control as I spent most of my time churning and worrying and scared and now my body was failing me too.
I am still eating too much but everything else is better with the help of a therapy group, a shrink for atavan (just a little bit once in awhile), and now al-anon, which I had avoided for months. My A son has been quiet for a few weeks so maybe this is just a lull, but with all this help and a plan, I have stopped falling apart.
I hope things get better for you too. It is much harder having your A in the house than not. But my A is so much on my mind.
So many of us come to alanon with health problems. The stress and strain on our bodies of worrying about the alcoholic's in our lives does take a toll.
My health was in the gutter when I got here too. It took a while for me to get better. Let's face it though, following alanon principle of taking care of ourselves sure can't hurt.
As far as the antidepressents and the anxiety pills go, if you have a concern address this with your doctor. Go to the expert!
As suggested get a sponsor, go to meetings, work the steps. It was when I got serious as a heart attack about working the program that I got better. Mental;y and physically.
I have loads of health problems which have been caused by my turning my stress inward.
I spent a lot of time in individual counseling - and know that it can provide a lot of help in dealing with things in our lives.
I have also gained a lot of help by working this program. I think that this program is a wonderful balance to individual counseling.
As for legal drugs - I talked about these same issues with my individual counselor before going to my GP to get a prescription. What I learned: Anti-anxiety medication can become addicting, but most anti-depressants are not usually addictive. There are anti-depressants that also help decrease anxiety - but the side effects are too much for some people. The best thing to do is discuss these options with both your counselor and GP.
As for thyroid problems, I am hypothyroid and had to switch from Synthroid (which only has T3) to Armour (which has both T3 & T4). Once I was on the Armour Thyroid meds my thyroid settled down. There are some herbs that boost thyroid function, but I would discuss these with your GP before trying these.
I tried the Amour thyroid but apparently I have trouble absorbing it. My thyroid levels were almost zero. I had taken Synthyroid for 20 years successfully so Doc started at a lower dose for a month, rechecked - levels improved. Then he upped the dose again and will recheck. I was blaming my jitters on the synthyroid change but are probably "rebound" from Ativan. I am trying to cut back my use a little at a time.
I am hyper-sensitive to drugs, tried just half a dose of Lexapro for a couple days and was so sick to my stomach couldn't eat which drops blood sugar which makes me feel even worse. I'm trying to work St. John's Wort into my system, it has a good history as an anti-depressant with fewer side effects than the others.
And the real truth is I didn't have any significant health problems until H's problem surfaced. It knocked the foundation out from under my life and family. Your mind, emotions and body are connected in ways we don't acknowledge in western medicine.
I get angry and frustrated at him but find it difficult to "let go and let God" and then I get frustrated with me because I feel lousy and can't do what I want when I want. Then I worry about how all of this crap affects my daughter and it gets to be a vicious cycle.
The program is great and I will keep working at it, and pray for guidance.
Wow - your thyroid was down to zero? I'm so glad that the Synthroid is now helping you! And I agree with you that the jitters are probably from the "rebound" from Ativan. It amazes me how difficult it is to stop taking some meds.
My depression is caused by a number of factors - stress from my life, low thyroid, and PCOS/Insulin Resistance. My doctor first got my thyroid at the right levels to see how depressed I still felt. The thyroid meds took care of a lot of the other symptoms I had, but only helped a little with my depression.
Then my doctor added Metformin to help with the PCOS/Insulin Resistance/depression. Again the Metformin helped with a lot of the PCOS/Insulin Resistant symptoms - but didn't help my depression much.
My body doesn't react well to any of the SSRIs or SSNRIs (like Lexapro, Cymbalta, Effexor, Paxil, Zoloft, etc.) They make me sick to my stomach, cause me to feel either depressed/suicidal or lethargic/apathetic, and I have absolutely no libido. Plus, when I weaned off of them - it took forever (over two months)!
I've tried the Tricyclics - and some of them helped with taking care of my depression, but they messed up my sleep/dream cycle, I had terrible dry mouth - and again, no libido.
I'm now on Wellbutrin. I still have a little bit of dry mouth, and it helps to curb my appetite (which I need), and no other side effects.
I had tried St. John's Wort, Hops, Valerian, etc. They didn't work for me. I hope the St. John's' works for you.
I agree with you 100% that our mind and emotions affect how our body feels. In addition to my depression and craziness in my life, I have had 10 surgeries, live with chronic pain, I understand what it's like to not be able to do what I want when I want.
My ex-husband (the father of my daughter) and I had joint custody of our daughter. When she turned 10 - she went to live with him. She lived with him for 5 years. During that time she became an alcoholic and drug addict. When she came back to live with me, she abused me - and the stress of that contributed to my depression/physical problems. So, I never had the opportunity to wonder or worry how my physical problems affected my daughter.
I don't know if any of this information helps. I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in dealing with stress in life and physical problems at the same time.
