You know, I get a birthday card and $20 cash from an old using buddy of mine, we were co dependent's together. Heck, I slept w/her fiancee, and she still sends me a card!

 Sometimes the only way someone can show they care is with money. With a card. With an acknowledgement. Take the money. Put it in savings. Put in the checking for the overdraft you know will happen (always seems to happen to me because I get gas at the super expensive station! ).  Realize that your mother is reaching out in the best way she knows how.

 One of the hardest things I've ever had to learn, over time, by working the steps, and using al anon is the fact that even though my mother was also a victim of her alcholic father's sexual and physical violence, she's also the only one that's really never looked at it. Never stood up and gotten angry, gotten upset, never prayed. Two of her sisters have some how come to a way of living that allows them to..."Have a grip?" "Have a life?" Something like that. Maybe it's okay that your mom is at where she's at. Maybe it's okay to acknowledge that she, like you, is hurting too. Maybe it's also okay to feel sorry for her. I have finally surrendered to the knowledge that when I try to hate a person indefinately, what I'm really saying is that I refuse to get to knwo their whole story--and that hurts me, not them.