The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hello. I am new to this site,new to Al-Anon and trying to find the new me...being the daughter of a drug addict and not too long married to an A without knowing it from day one makes me feel lost with mixed feelings and low self confident...I feel I am living my mother's life and it bothers me...I dont want to do the same mistakes...I am trying to read the books, go to face to face meetings and all but still it doesnt make much sense...I am getting sucked into fights and any little word about me can make me loose it and loose my confidence...everyone believes that I am a successful person at work and social life but deep inside I dont feel good about who I am...or better say whom they made me to become...I know it works and I know I should work it and keep coming back but its not the easiest thing in the world....
Please remember me in your prayers and I would be glad to read your advises...
It is all confusing. Thank God you have found Alanon.
I, too, married an alcoholic when I was very young. I was pregnant and at the time I did not have Alanon or really know anything about it. I felt like I might have to live my mother's life too. My mom had 5 children and I decided to get out of the marriage very quickly while I still had only 1 child. Maybe with Alanon at the time I could have hung in there and tried to make things work but I was too afraid to do that. The son I had with that husband is now 35 years old and is an A. He was very young...about 15 mos old when we separated. My current husband adopted him and raised him as his own. I still think my A son suffers from abandonment issues...he would have to.
I am not saying you should do what I did because you have found a support group and you are now way ahead of the game.
It took you your whole life to get where you are - it will take awhile to get better. That's OK, baby steps are the way this works.
You might find, though, that some counselling might help, in addition to alanon. I found that ever just a few sessions with a professional helped me see my choices more clearly, and I was better able to make some changes that really needed making.
You can shop around for meetings, too, if you live in an area where there are lots of meetings. You may find a certain group helps more than another, just because it suits your personality better.
I will keep you in my prayers. JUST REMEMBER.. You did not cause his drinking,nor can you cure or control it. You can however, help you. You is what matters here. I AM GLAD you found these rooms.
Lauren
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~life is like a box of chocolates you never know whatcha gonna get~
