A few years ago, I got involved in the early stages of a relationship with an alcholic/drug addict. Newly sober (again). She had been out there for a while since I first met her, had a kid... abusing Rx drugs... it took me 5 minutes to remember why I liked her. We just hit it off... immediately. She said she was 3 months sober... of course I had no way of knowing one way or the other. In spite of this person's insanity, I've always felt a strong connection with her - not so much an attraction of opposites, but an understanding of how she is. I've never met another person, male or female, that was so much like ME. I suppose that's a recipe for disaster to begin with!

I guess that's what fascinated me about her. From the outside, we appear to have zero in common, but the more I talked to her the more I felt like I knew what she was going to say before she said it. It kind of freaked both of us out... but I found it fascinating, she just found it scary.

After a few dates and a few weeks, she vanished just as suddenly as she had (re)appeared. We have had no contact since. "We" certainly aren't meant to be, but if she were to pop up again unexpectedly, I'd certainly be interested in hearing about her life and what not. Other than being the opposite sex, she appears to me as a projection of what my life might be like had I started drinking and drugging at a much younger age.. and kept it up. She is absolutely 100% insane, but in ways I comprehend all too well.

Today, I am not interested in a relationship with someone like that... but... I don't really know what I'm interested in. I have joined a few matchmaker services here and there over the years, and for the question "what are you looking for?" the only honest answer I can give is "I'll know it when I see it".

Barisax

     That really is an interesting question and one I've thought about often. My Mom is an alcoholic (has not had a drink in 13 years) and when I was 20 yrs. old, I married a guy whose father was an alcoholic. We were totally ignorant about alcoholism and partied hearty with friends and family,all of whom came from alcoholic families (some of them have since died from diseases which alcohol figured into). I eventually left him and got involved with another alcoholic, still ignorant about the disease. People told me I was going from the fire into the frying pan but, of course I wouldn't listen - especially because the ones who told me this all drank too much. Over the years (I'm now 54), I slowly began to grasp what alcoholism is about. On an intellectual level, I understand it but on an emotional level it has torn me down. I have been so disgusted with my husband, angry and puzzled, - you name it. But then when he maintained sobriety (stayed dry is more like it) for long periods, I'd like him again and the negative things kinda fizzled away and I'd feel good again. Not for long. I would think that I would never again get involved with anyone who drank, did drugs, or came from a dysfunctional family. Then I'd think, "well,then, who'd get involved with me? I put the D in dysfunction! No one is as co-dependant as me!"  Then I'd think about some wonderful speakers I'd heard at re-habs my husband had been in. They gave their stories and I truly admired them. And they had supportive family and friends. They had professions,somebody loved them and was a family with them. Who am I to pass judgement? So like you say, the world is full of 'isms'. And to each his own. On a bad day,though, I think "If it ain't one damned thing, it's another." :[  ....jaja