The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi, I thought I would come in and give you all an overdue update on what is going on in my life. Especially since being here is why I have managed to maintain a peaceful life. Not always without stress or messes, but always peaceful. (I learned that here)
The long awaited homecoming of my son is just two weeks away. For those of you that don't know, he is being released from prison Oct 18 after serving 9 months. All related to his addiction. I have seen major changes in him, but as always, am cautiously optimistic. But I will do no projecting and if anything goes wrong, I will deal with it then and with the help of HP and alanon.
I changed jobs in July. I like my new job. It is in the same field that I have worked in the last 5 years. I left a job that was not good for me or my recovery. It was my big I am going to take care of me statement. The new job has brought some very unexpected advantages and has brought some wonderful people into my life. There are some stresses there, but I apply the same alanon principles there as I do anywhere else and I find that I can then cope with whatever comes along.
AH and I have come to some sort of strange truce (for lack of a better word) I guess a lot of it is I don't let him get under my skin like I used to. He can't push any buttons if I take the buttons away, or at least if I hold the remote control
I have learned that if something makes me uncomfortable or I dread doing it every week, that it is better for me to say so and simply not do it. I have curbed the danged approval seeker that lurked in me and it is controlled now too. Or at the very least it is being actively worked on. I do the things I want to do, whether AH thinks I should or not, and I am a lot more comfortable in my own skin as a result.
I will continue to keep you in my prayers and especially for your son's homecoming. I understand "cautiously opptomistic"! I think the best way to be..... God is working, it is evident! I'm happy too for your "truce" with your hubby. Peace is a good thing! Please continue to pray for my son. He has struggled, but is trying hard. He lives out of the home now, we really needed to separate. But I think this will help him grow up. The financial burden, he is beginning to understand. God is working in him too, we see that clearly. Take care my friend and one of these days I might see you online! God Bless....
My daughter has been clean and sober for 11 months. For the first 6 of those months - I was waiting for the proverbial "other shoe to drop." I hoped that she wouldn't lapse back into her old ways - but in the back of my mind was cautious (probably to help protect my own feelings) in case she went back to using.
I hope and pray that your son is able to stay clean and sober.
I remember when you first came into chat, you have an amazing peace now. We all have different stories, I just remember how much my heart hurt for you as were watching your son face his actions. You reflected such courage.
Keep leaning on HP -- draw from all the experieces you know that He's carried you thru. No matter what the future holds, Hp's holding you.
How excited you must be to not only to be having your son released from prison, but to know that he is sober, now, too. I am so very happy for you both. I am praying that you both will continue to do well in your recoveries.
Doxie!!!! What a wonderful post....you sound like me.....take the "remote" away, and they can't "push your buttons" anymore! Good deal, lady!
Am glad your son is coming home. I know it has been a long hard road for both of you, but as a Mom, myself, I imagine it was harder for you, if there is such a thing. It must be so very hard to watch your child hurting like that.
You sound so much, much stronger than you did! It does take daily work. I am working on saying NO too, when it is something that is not good for me, or something that threatens my serenity. I may be a wife, but I am not a robot.
I made the decision to not attend a baby shower that was given by friends of my AH's. It is this weekend, given by the grandparents of the baby, and the invitation noted "BYOB", and, they didn't mean baby, or booties, as someone mentioned in jest. Nope, they meant bottle, as in BOOZE! I have not been, and will never go to a booze-fest baby shower. That is just wrong. Wrong for me, anyway! LOL. My recovery has become important to me, and I have become important to me, too. I deserve to be able to be the best person I can be, and if that means upsetting a few folks along the way, then so be it. A true friend would not be upset by me setting boundaries for myself about things that I find disturbing. And I would, I hope, do the same in return.
Keep doing what you're doing Doxie. Seems to be working great! I am also learning to apply
Al-Anon principles to all areas of my life. Sure does help!
I am so very happy to hear about your son coming home....that is just wonderful....most of all dear lady, I am so happy to hear you are doing well....living with addiction is a rellly hard road to walk..it can make life miserable and unbareable....
I am so happy you are finding peace...what a wonderful feeling......god bless you dear friend....
I am praying for all to go well...that you son finds peace within himself and the happiness he deserves.....am mos of all I am praying for you to have a peaceful exsistance in this wonderful world in which we live...
The new job has brought some very unexpected advantages and has brought some wonderful people into my life. There are some stresses there, but I apply the same alanon principles there as I do anywhere else and I find that I can then cope with whatever comes along. 