The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
One of the important steps forward that I have made recently in my recovery, is to personalize my recovery. I have been focusing on these kinds of questions: what are my struggles? what does recovery mean to me? if I were to see improvement in X area of my life, what would I see?
These questions have helped me immensely to get out of my head and into the concreteness of my life, and they also keep the focus on me. Without this focus, I find that I often: a) measure my solely recovery in terms of how I react/relate to other people b) get overwhelmed by all of the ideas available in the media, the self-help I read, etc. of how I could improve my life c) spin my wheels alot moving from one plan to the next, never quite following through.
One of the most immediate things I saw when I looked, really looked at my life, was that I need to improve my relationship to my work. work from home and have no direct boss, so you can imagine the non-productivity that can ensue. My goal for this week has been simple: to plan my work day by setting reasonable goals and to follow through on my plan. This has worked tremendously well and I am feeling a lot of satisfication on following through on the committments I have made to myself. I have been using my Alanon tools: one day at a time, baby steps, easy does it, etc. to help me accomplish this goal.
Sounds like you are doing your 4th step. Looking at myself has been very scarey. Afraid of what I will find. The work environment has always been uncomfortable for me. I always get nailed to the wall. As for recovery, I don't know if I have personalized it yet. I was forced into it. But now I need to own it.
Sounds like you're getting serious about your recovery and believing this program can work for you. Awesome cause after a period of time playing around the edges of it I also started doing some of the work you are now doing and found out the slogan, "It only works when you work it" really is true. 10th stepping is necessary for measuring growth and although I don't know if you are considering what you're doing as a 10th it does seem that you are checking up on yourself with the desired result being growth. I also use/used the term personalizing my recovery because only you get to work it the way you do. Sure most of what I have received in my recovery came freely from others, from what worked for them and from their love and compassion for me and then I had to do the best I could with it...in my own way. That was making it personal and then I get to pass the whole thing on freely to others. This is the Al-Anon Program, it is also my program...my personal program. I don't try to change it, I try to work it as it was given to me and then it comes out with my personality mixed in. Some stuff I do doesn't work for others and some others wouldn't want to try it. Same with me there are some ways that my fellow family members work the program here that I won't do for my own personal reasons/values/beliefs yet they are recovering in their own pace.
Keep doing that investigation stuff...It works and you get to see what is changing and what is not. By the way having another set of eyes, like those of a loving sponsor is great because they can feed you back what they see also and you get to investigate another's point of view. I did this also. I used to ask for others' perceptions and feedback all the time. Some people just love giving their opinions so ask the honest ones you can trust. (qualifier)
Just a note? I also am self employed and work from my home...big hurdle? procrastination and attention deficit planning. The more corrective action I take the better it comes out and these two defects shrink.
I am open to any good stuff you learn from your investigation.
I have tremendous issues at work. I have also done the work at home stuff and found it far more difficult than I thought. I would agree that al anon can apply everywhere. I am also a huge proponent of getting other help. Currently I have a therapist and she helps me a lot with self esteem issues. I think she also helps in being an ear. I need ears and eyes in my life. I did not have them as a child. The A is no support at all, a hindrance really but I can let go of that some days.
