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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> scrambling for the few crumbs
Post Info TOPIC: scrambling for the few crumbs
maresie2


~*Service Worker*~

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scrambling for the few crumbs
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I have spent much of my life scrambling for the few crumbs.  Every now and again the A offers a few crumbs of affection, attention.  I take them and then am eventually oused out into the cold again.  Like a soap opera he will always find a way to put everything else before our relationship..then offer a few crumbs to get me back in hooked.


I know the dance of the love avoidant/love addict very well because I have always done that two step. For once I am taking care of myself (even though I have been sick) moving ahead with my plans rather than obsessing about him what he is doing, who he is doing it with and what I am missing out on.  Clearly all I am missing out on is more dysfunction.


I nevertheless find it hard to be pleasant and polite when he offers me the few crumbs he has got up his sleeve.  I want to reject, scream and wail.  And of course such behavior is not al anon approved. So I am going to make an effort this time to refuse politely and go elsewhere to process my feelings. Clearly he never has been concerned with my feelings as he is too embroiled in his own addiction.  So I will be polite and firm.


And I will change this merry go round dance I have been on for 6 years of always going back fro the crumbs and instead stick it out to take care of myself and my life and my health and my pets.


Maresie.



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maresie
debilyn


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Every time you post you sound like you are learning and using your skills more and more!! Your own power is showing so much.


I am so proud of you. It is not easy to get healthier in your situation.


So glad you are still working on your goal. Hey how did the interviews go? Anything promising?


much love,debilyn



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"If wishes were wings,piggys would fly."
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Faith73


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Thanks (((Maresie)))


I can totally relate to your post and it was a good reminder to me that I have to live my life which is becoming more of a crooked path, rather than the circle's i used to walk in ending up in the same spot over and over. Thanks to my hp and alanon I know that I don't have to live off those crumbs for weeks...my hp has a whole meal and cookies for dessert waiting for me :)


Love in Recovery, Christine



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Jerry F


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Aloha Maresie!!


Thanks for your share!! Keep on keeping on!!


(((((hugs)))))



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Jennifer


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Hi ((Maresie))


Thank you for the reminder of the crumb dance. Your description made me laugh even though it is still an area that can bring up old pain. We deserve the whole loaf from ourselves not crumbs from somebody else. Way to go!


I hope you are feeling better, you're in my thoughts and prayers.


Jennifer



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leo


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Hi Maresie,


I have been reading all of your posts and thinking of you.  You are starting to show that inner strength that we all know you have.  You know it is okay to put your own needs first isn't that what your friend has been doing recently?  I hope you have enough money that you are eating okay and not getting run down.   My gut instinct is telling me that you are hurting more than you are letting on with the disappointment of people letting you down in your life.  Please keep posting so we know you are okay and take care.  Luv Leo xx



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