The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This is a follow-up to Gailey's and Maresie's most recent posts--ya' really got me to think! Thank you!
It makes me think about how I often secretly believe I can't recover until certain things happen. Of course these other things happening take the power directly out of my hands and put it directly into those of other people. Here's my list:
I can't recover until you agree to talk to me about our "issues".
I can't recover until you say you're sorry and you see how much you've hurt me.
I can't recover until you see what my needs are and agree to meet them.
I can't recover until you validate my feelings.
I can't recover until you agree that you are a mess, ill, completely irrational.
I can't recover until we go to therapy.
I can't recover until you admit you're to blame for this mess.
I can't recover until you assure me that I don't need to feel guilty or bad about the mess I've made.
Can I say, codependent, LOL, LOL, LOL? But, here it is folks! This is what I have told/tell myself stands in my way of recovery.
Let's try this again...
I can recover when I acknowledge my issues, accept them, and work on them.
I can recover when I feel ALL of my feelings, admit their validity and work through them.
I can recover when I identify my needs and seek to meet them, and am honest about what I want and need.
I can recover when I assure myself that my feelings are o.k. and choose how to act/not act on them.
I can recover when I "maintain my own mind"--assess the situation and make the best decision for me based on my own clear thinking without getting pulled into the middle of crazy, ill, or irrational thinking.
I can recover when I pursue the avenues of recovery and support that help me live the life I want and be the person I want to be.
I can recover by taking responsiblity for my part in things and practicing "if it doesn't have my name on it, don't pick it up."
I can recover by taking my 4th step inventory, talking to my sponsor, and making amends.
Wow, I need to cut this out and tape it to my own fridge as a reminder to where true recovery lies--IN ME, NOT ANYONE ELSE!
You have no idea how much that just inspired me! Thank you so much! It totally spoke to me! I love stuff like this! I bet there is tons of it on this board... I just have to get busy reading!
It's so awesome how other people can inspire hurting people!
I printed them out too .. and hung them up at work.... Thank you, it helps me to have a list/visual of what I am working towards and the steps needed to get there.
Thank you so much for this. I have been feeling very alone. I am sick at the moment and for once not obsessing about the A does not help out. I am just taking care of me and it is good to do that but of course totally unfamiliar.
