The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I've been comming into this room for a few months now, and i have enjoyed all the banter(laughs) between everyone. I may also have caused offence on the ODD occasion(lol). i have been really happy the last few months, laughing, smiling, being nice to everyone, not arguing with anyone, and basically i was convinced that i was recovering at last. I was way up on cloud nine.
I was bonding with a certain person in the room. I found someone who made me feel alive again, accepted me for who i am, laughed with me, laughed at me(lol), understood where i was comming from, and it felt really good. It was like someone had time for ALLY, for once and i started to trust this person. This was my BIGGY, i dont do trust, trusting someone scares me, and i started to feel really scared. If i dont care, i cant get hurt, if i dont trust ,i cant get hurt, well that feeling landed me flat on my butt, and i have now came back to earth with a bloody bang(rofl).It's not funny no, but thats life, that happens with the programme you get slips,(some bigger than others).
But with the help of my al-anon friends I can overcome this,well i need to,(who will nig3 have to fight with if i dont).So for all newcomers this can happen so you need to be prepared to go through pain in this programme, but i believe(lol) it makes you stronger. I have cried my eyes out all day(OMG), and that's not like me, but I'm only human just like the rest of you (NUTJOBS) in here.
i have received some help this week especially from certain members and i would like to thank them, one in particular,(you know who you are), for spending HOURS(lol) talking to me. and being there.
Lots of love ally
thanks also, shadow(my mate),luckyeddie(for explaining the first 3 steps,lol), an nycbt for being there when i was cracking up(lol).
My big lesson from this is: don't jump on cloud 9 right away, start at the first cloud, and work your way up.
(Better mention the scottish lassies(lol) thank you
My dear friend, Ally. My heart goes out to you. Just remember, you ARE making progress. Just the fact that you allowed yourself to bond with someone, says you are making progress. I am so happy that you have this room to come to for support. You are wonderful woman with a beautiful heart, and YES this comes through ... loud and clear. Please know, that we/I accept you, for you. Whether you are happy or sad, I want to be near you. You are in my prayers. Let those feelings out, it hurts like heck, but I believe it leads to growth. Let me out ... all of them.
No thanks needed. You have been there for me too . You brighten up the room with your laughs and we all need that. Sure everyone has slips in the program but the way i monotor my recovery is how long does it take to climb back up. It sounds like your on your way back up and that should show you how much you have grown. Keep up the good work and thanks for your ear.
I would like to offer my thanks to EVERYONE, for all your help, encourageing words, and constant support. I am very GREATFUL, I was shown the way towards al-anon when I did.
I never dreamed things would turn around for me, so I am really starting to believe in all that is on offer in Al-Anon if you are willing to work towards It.
Someone gave me the highest honour I could ever have wished for, I was asked to sponsor a fellow member.(omg, me ally, lol). I had to very gently refuse this person, because, Im nowhere near ready to take on that position, but I offered to help this person, and share with them what I am learning in doing my programme.
Someone said to me yesterday, people are brought into your life for a special reason, and, NO, I would have never believed it.
But today I can see the special people in my life and i thank God for them.
I was told today i was really GROWING, I am glad my roomies can see things in me, that I fail to see in my life.
That leads me to believe this programme is working, and If It can work for me,, It can work for anybody.
(((((((((((((((ROOMIES))))))))))))))))))))))
I had to very gently refuse this person, because, Im nowhere near ready to take on that position, but I offered to help this person, and share with them what I am learning in doing my programme.