codependency codyness epidemic - Al-Anon Family Group

peewee · Senior Member

codependency codyness epidemic

Karilynn · ~*Service Worker*~

(((((((((((((Peewee)))))))))))),

Seeing some of my cousins with their alcoholic parents and now their children, I'm thinking yes. But this is just from my experience. Try a google search or NIMH website and see what you come up with. I'd be interested in hearing the results.

Live strong,

Karilynn & Pipers Kitty

Becky1 · ~*Service Worker*~

Good question, Peewee. All I know is, I am the only one of my 3 sisters to be cody, in spite of all of us growing up in the same household. My mother divorced my A dad when I was 7, my other sisters were 2, 16, and 10. None of the other sisters, or my Mom, will put up with much. Then, there is me..... Our dad died from alcoholism with I was 16. I don't think the other girls in my family received any different treatment than I did, so I really don't know why I am like this and they are not. I also have cousins raised by my alcoholic uncles (my dad's brothers) who are not codependent.

Guess I am either lucky or unlucky, depending on how you look at it!

And my daughter, in spite of being raised by me, is very non-cody. That girl can stand up for herself, and does. Always has. She is such a strong but loving person. Am proud to say she is my daughter, and she has surely learned not to make the same mistakes I have, just by watching me!

I will be interested to read further replies to your post. And, thanks for your message, I just got it!

Love in Recovery,

Becky1

-- Edited by Becky1 at 19:38, 2006-09-14

peewee · Senior Member

thank you both for your comments and encouragement.

I did find a site that describes this situation perfectly.

http://www.nmha.org/infoctr/factsheets/43.cfm

This is enlightening, and scary. I'm going to pursue more info about it.

thanks, and keep answering, folks. :)

pw

maresie2 · ~*Service Worker*~

Well I think that codependence can show up in different ways to different degrees. My younger sister became an alcoholic so in a sense the entire family was and still is codependent to that. I do think sometimes that what looks ok sometimes turns out to be dysfunctional. My codependence showed up for a long long time as people pleasing (which is viewed as ok in this culture). I am also a recovering love addict (also ok in this culture), eating disorder (also not necessarily that bad in this culture) and spending issues (ok by the credit card industry).

So for some of us our dysfunctions work in the culture we live in. My people pleasing was really super welcomed in jobs. When I started to set limits (albeit awkwardly) is when I ran into lots of problems.

I do think people who live around an addict need a program/help. I think it is very very very difficult to live around an addict. I know people who swear up and down they are not affected but the fact is they are.

Maresie.

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