The material presented
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
the last few weeks i have been taking a step back from my ex boyf. the "A".
he text me to tell me he had moved on, i said good. he asked was i around for the weekend.. i said NO i was going away with the girls for a break. he said FINE.
i headed off with the girls up the country for a weekend of fun.... we met loadsa people, danced the nites away in clubs and had the odd drink.. we laughed and joked with everyone we met... it was a de-stressing weekend.... until last nite....
the 3 girls and myself were walking home.. (o.k crawling home holding our shoes in our hands) and i got a phonecall from the "A" saying he had taken 50 tab and a litre of vodka to end all his suffering... he said he wanted to come clean with me eventually.... and admitted cheating on me with the girls i ahd my suspicions about.. basically i flipped and hung up on him. i rang my mom... this was 4 a.m...she nearly died with fright when i told her what he had said.... she told me to turn off my phone...she would sort it... so i did.
she rang me this morning and told me in was in a psychiatric ward in hospital, stomach was pumped, he had notes written, will made, songs for his funeral picked, and when the police showed up at his house he attacked them.... thats when they called ambulance to remove him... strapped down in the ambulance and vomiting blood all over the place.
i came home toda and did nothing but watch tv, didnt ring hospital, or his family,,,,, im numb.
I'm glad to hear that you realize you are currently going through a "numb" period. That is sometimes the perfect place for us to be in the mist of our storms as we sort out what we are truly feeling. I do know that a reminder that you didn't cause, can't control it and can't cure it is here in the offering. This is his disease that he has to come to terms with in his time and in his way. Taking the time to lean on your HP and remembering that you always have us here in MIP to vent to and express all your feelings to is healthy for you in your recovery.
My prayers for you and his family. I think your mom is a wonderfully strong person who was able to keep it all in perspective as well as helped to keep you safe.
Gosh I'm sorry your great weekend had to end like that. A's definitely know how to stir up the drama to get the attention they need. You are right its not your problem anymore. His acting out sounded like a desperate cry for help. Hopefully he'll get the help he needs from the hospital. Who knows, maybe he'll actually listen to somebody there and try and get his life together. Keep taking care of you and moving forward, like you said you are worth it and owe that to yourself. We're all here for you.
Hugs,
Twinmom~
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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
I am so sorry to hear this. This sounds like a very serious attempt for the A and he is desperate for help. I am glad he is getting it. I am so so so glad you have this room to come to. I know the years I did not have this room contributed to my depression greatly.
I think it is so significant that when you looked after yourself that the A crashed. He is so accustomed to you taking care of him.
This is an insideous disease that takes no prisoners. Remember NONE of this is your fault. You did well despite the circumstances, and you were very strong. Sometimes numb is okay if it helps you get through the immediate. Love has nothing to do with this disease. The only love an A feels is for his/her next fix. Perhaps this is the rock bottom he needs to begin recovery. He's in a safe place and can't hurt himself.
As hard as it is, keep focusing on you. You need to make the time for your recovery and healing.
Live strong,
Karilynn
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I am so sorry for what you are going through. You sound strong, though numb, but you recognize that this is not your problem, which is pretty huge. It just may be his bottom now. I will pray for your and your family. Please continue to remember not to be dragged down with this disease, and continue to live your wonderful life with your girls....
((((((Rebecca)))))) I am so sorry you had such a horrible end to your great weekend. Looks like you are handling it well, and already have geat ideas from the others. I just wanted you to know that you have shown such great growth in the program, and that we are here for you. Always, TLC
((((Rebecca)))) Sorry for your pain. It is so hard loving a person with such a horrible disease.
For me, a lot of times, I just went numb after everything was over. I think it must be some protective thing our bodies and minds do. So, hope you are able to get some rest and start to heal. Glad you are here. Keep coming back.
