The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Before joining this board I use to post all the time on a co-dependent board. They had an online journal that I use to post on frequently. I decided to go back and read thru my journal to see if I had made any progress. What I found is that I am still in the same situation that I was in back in November 2004. My entries screamed of unacceptable behavior from my A husband and how I was allowing it to happen in my desperation to hold on to him. Sick. I have heard over and over again how if nothing changes nothing changes. Well that was loud and clear in my post. I would take little changes (him trying to control the amount and when he would drink) and feel that those were the changes I needed for things to change. WRONG! The bottom line is nothing had changed. Even though my husband was drinking less he was still drinking and still had all the bad behaviors of an alcoholic. I could see that because of my abandonment issues I was letting him walk all over me. Oh, I would raise a fuss every now and then and call it standing up for myself to only back down if he threatened to leave. I was still caught up in him and reacting to what he said or did. Alanon is about taking care of yourself. I have been told that you only get out of Alanon what you put in and that is soooooo true. No more excuses. I need to get busy!
We are one of the same.. I am SOOOO where you are.. I go to a counselor each week trying to figure out WHY I cant let go of a relationship that is so unhealthy.. ?? Why i cant get my heart and my head to on the same page.. !!
My head says it is time to LET GO now tell me ... How do you get your heart to agree ?
I have heard over and over again how if nothing changes nothing changes. Well that was loud and clear in my post. I would take little changes (him trying to control the amount and when he would drink) and feel that those were the changes I needed for things to change. WRONG! The bottom line is nothing had changed. Even though my husband was drinking less he was still drinking and still had all the bad behaviors of an alcoholic.
I could see that because of my abandonment issues I was letting him walk all over me.
Oh, I would raise a fuss every now and then and call it standing up for myself to only back down if he threatened to leave. I was still caught up in him and reacting to what he said or did.
Alanon is about taking care of yourself. I have been told that you only get out of Alanon what you put in and that is soooooo true. No more excuses. I need to get busy!