The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I tried something different today when I came to the board. Instead of posting first and reading your wonderful shares second… I decided to listen to y’all first and then see how that felt. What occurs to me is that I need to remember that multiple perspectives and encouragement are another way of allowing Love in. I have this fear of looking like a whiner, so when I do decide I need to talk about something it is like this raging waterfall crashing through the room. I hold everything in so close and then I get completely overwhelmed.
I want to establish friendships with people in my life who have their own agendas. We are all blessed to be on our own journey. I find myself frustrated when I react, out of fear, with anger. That is something I used to do, what was modeled for me as a young girl. Right now I am scared that my family won’t find a healthy solution. I feel like I am the one who has to do it all, and I can’t, it isn’t my place to control how things work out in my home. I need to be stronger and softer in my thoughts, actions, and intentions in order to maintain my own serenity. I struggle with when to take a stand, often lately it is with people I love so dearly and inappropriate. Because I feel unsafe in other relationships I don’t risk saying what needs to be said. I use the excuse that I can’t find kind words to say what I mean, therefore why say anything that I am going to have to apologize for or feel like I need to justify later. So now I am asking myself… why not take those steps and learn something in the process? Fear can’t control what I won’t let it :o)
I know that I have all of your love and support, any time I reach out it is there. If there is a place in your prayers for my sweet girls I would love that. Thank you all for touching my heart every day.
sparkette wrote: I know that I have all of your love and support, any time I reach out it is there. If there is a place in your prayers for my sweet girls I would love that.
Cyndee,
Not only is there room in my prayers for your girls, but for you as well. Consider it done.
Your loving and kind manner is always something I have appreciated, that and your sparkly personality.
I also hold it all in until I am bursting and am trying to work on that one. LOL, one day at a time. Wish I could just snap my fingers sometimes, but the journey is needed so I will really learn what I need to.
Guess I'll keep coming back
Yours in recovery,
Dolphin123
__________________
"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
Hi Spark , well for me the whole purpose of recovery is to allow myself to be myself. To risk having a different opinion than others , it is no longer important for me to be accepted by others I try to be respectful and allow people to be who they need to be. and that is all i want from others .
To be different is risky people may not like my opinions - Oh well !!!! today it's okay if I am wrong I have learned to say so and let it go. this little blurb helped me alot u may like it .
BEYOND SERENITY
Serenity is for healing and calmness.
The pain stops and the dizziness of mind relaxes.
Then the growth begins.
The inner me for yrears frozen-warped and immature, begins to flourish.
The person I could have been-should have been begins to be.
My courage returns to risk, to love, to try things,
I have never dared before-knowing perfection is no longer required.
And a certain wisdom begins,because with in the quietness of my soul.
I am able to hear the words I need to know.
My inner resources today are great.
I have opened the door my HIGHER POWER HAS PROVIDED.
