The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Not because my house is meticulously clean 24/7.... it's not.
Not because I am a subservient wife, running around all day in an A-pattern skirt and apron, pretending to be June Clever..... I don't.
Not because my children behave 100% of the time, are perfectly polite and share all the time, and get perfect grades.... they don't.
Not because I work in the corporate world and receive daily Kudos from the boss and my coworkers...... I don't.
Not because I have a perfect hourglass figure, eat healthy and work out religiously so that all the neighbor women are jealous of my perfect body.... it's not.
Not because I treat my husband like his mother during the daylight hours and Madonna all night long in the bedroom every night..... I don't.
I have worth today, whether or not I am pleasing everyone around me, whether or not I am keeping up the appearances that society challenges me to keep up. I am worthy of love and respect in my worst moods, in my darkest hours, in my PMS days, when I'm sickest, and on days when I can't even function.
I am worthy because I am a beautiful person on the inside, because I laugh and cry and share and grow and backslide, and then grow some more. I know who I am and I ask for help, and I turn around and help someone else when I am feeling better. My HP created me just the way I am and will always see me as a perfect little girl.
Joni, that was a wonderful post. I think too many of us lose sight of the fact that we're worth of anything, much less having worth on a daily basis. I do, anyway.
You are absolutely right.I have worth because I was created by a loving creator.
I have worth because I live,because I am a human being.I do not have to live up to anyone else's standards to be worthy.
You said.....
I am worthy because I am a beautiful person on the inside, because I laugh and cry and share and grow and backslide, and then grow some more. I know who I am and I ask for help, and I turn around and help someone else when I am feeling better. My HP created me just the way I am and will always see me as a perfect little girl.
At first I had to LOL as June Cleaver is my idol, seriously...sigh.
I so envy the women of that time, their cool sophistication, elegant glamour, beautiful clothing, and decadent lifestyles filled with luncheons with friends, shopping, etc. despite vacuuming, cooking, and making sure that Junior behaved, LOL.
Yes, I was probably born at the wrong time.
Some people say that June Cleaver did not exist...and I disagree. My Mom was "June Cleaver" for many many years (even though she was a scientist with three college degrees, LOL, but gave that up to be a stay at home homemaker and mom for most of her life)...but even she could not keep it up indefinately, it is a gruelingly difficult lifestyle to maintain. Yet my Mom did it with style and grace and love and kindness. She was not a superficial person just interested in appearances...which is why she could not keep it up forever, LOL.
I am just not as "perfect" as my Mom was and am no June Cleaver even though I wish I was and I always try.
I always compared myself to her and came up short.
But...guess what! My Mom does NOT!
She accepts me just the way I am (OK, she occasionally offers to "help" me with housecleaning..Ok, she offers a LOT, LOL) and loves me unconditionally. She accepts my eccentric ways and never judges me. My daughter thinks I am great too just the way I am, and well, my husband says I have got it nailed on the cooking part, but my housecleaning needs a little work, LOL.
I had an only child and I treasured every moment with her. I was the kind of Mom who left the dishes in the sink to make her some playdough and color it with koolaid so it smelled nice and was nicer than any store bought stuff. I was the kind of Mom who left dust bunnies under the bed to go out and blow bubbles with my daughter, I even bought a super bubble machine and had more fun than my daughter, LOL. I was the kind of mom who spent hours making barbie clothes for my daughter that I could never have afforded to buy her, despite putting myself through college, being a single mom for most of her life and working grueling jobs all through college. For years I felt bad about my messy home, but now that my daughter is grown and I see the warm and loving relationship we have developed I see I made the right choice.
My Mom sees that too and gave me the best compliment that I could ever get. She told me I was an exemplary Mom, coming from "The World's Greatest Mom", that is quite a compliment .
Anyway, I really needed this today. Now that my daughter is grown I no longer can get out of housecleaning by "playing" with her, LOL.
I decided to join FLYLADY (a free internet house cleaning program) and I am overwhelmed at how I have let things go and was feeling pretty rotten about how far I have fallen short of my idol (My Mom really...AKA "June Cleaver" LOL). But now I feel better as I saw worth enough in my daughter to put her first and saw worth enough in me to not let my housecleaning define my worth and get my priorities straight.
Now...just why couldn't I be like my Mom and June and do BOTH! SIGH!
Well, I just couldn't and thanks for the reminder that I am still OK!
"