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A husband has been calling me for the past 3 weeks...saying he goes to AA every day..he`s sober...blah blah blah Well I decide to let him come over and see me and the kids.He has no vehicle because he totaled it 3 weeks ago.I was going to go pick him up when I got out of work last night.he starts calling me around 6 pm...I told him that it sounded like he was drinking and of course he denied it.I got a phone call from him about every half hour while I was at work...and he got progressively drunker...still denied it.Well when I got out at 10 pm I told him I was not coming to get him.he asked why and I said you know why.By the time I got home he had called the house and had our 15 year old daughter in tears with his screaming.
he calls me this morning at work and doesn`t even remember calling me!!!!! he apologizes and we say our goodbyes.Well he starts the same thing all over...continued calls and with each call he was drunker and meaner....calling me names.My co-worker had to start screening my calls!!!Sorry..this has no point I just wanted to tell someone.thanks for listening
So sorry for what you are going through. It is so horrible when they tell you something and you get your hopes up and it is not true. It is devastating. I can identify with it. I pray that things calm down, that must be horrible to have him calling your work. I hate when their personality totally changes and they become hateful. Remember that it is the disease and not really him, as hard as that is to remember.
Be nice to yourself today, and your daughter. My thoughts are with you....
oh Allison how awful. Especially for your daughter. Do you have caller ID? Maybe ya better get it. If he calls from the same place, you can block his call. Call your phone co. to find out how.
Being drunk alone is no fun. The disease is trying to make itself feel better by dragging you down too.
Good for you for sticking to your boundary. Maybe next time you can trust your intuition and tell him no sooner.
He is very sick, I am sad for you and other loved ones.
does your daughter go to alanon?? I sure hope so. If not maybe you could find some good books on Aism made for kids for her.
You vent as much as you darn well want. That's one of the beauties of this board;someplace full of understanding souls to listen.
I just spent the week listening and believing in promises by A to help himself,get into program and stop drinking. ONE day was all he could do completely sober. Then there was the lieing from work about not drinking. Then it has grown into him having to drink at one office but not the other. I've been feeling pretty damned stupid..but you know what? Such is life.I'm not stupid. Just like needing to remember that they do what they do because of the 'little man' who steers their brains( without YOU being at fault)..it's also a fantastic thing to remember each fall we suffer strengthens our resolve. Each incident makes it easier for me to turn away and find different avenues to deal with what may be waiting for me around the corner. In the positive light each incident has found me scrambling and reaching out to eliminate stepping into the same 'room".
You'll get it for yourself.I look forward to the day you proclaim freedom from your A-s terrorism and need not fear your child's well-being; whether he seeks genuine help or not. Let that fire you feel temper some tools through al-anon boards,meetings,literature..whatever you can get your hands on.Take care.
