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Well, after ten beautiful days of sobriety, he is passed out on the floor of our bedroom. I spoke with him just after 5 pm and he sounded just fine. As soon as I got home at 5:30 I could tell something was up and by the time dinner was over he was staggering. He must of pounded some of those 8% alcohol beers they sell around the corner.
He fed me everything I wanted to hear, "I am finally going to do what I know I need to do. I am going to get in killer shape, our lives are going to be so much easier without alcohol, I feel so good I never want to go back there."
I feel like a fool, again.
Any ESH on maintaining hope? I'm all out right now.
Don't be so hard on yourself, there are times I let myself believe in things with a whole lot less than 10 days of being sober. You are not a fool, just a caring person who wants the best for yourself and your loved one. I'm sorry you are feeling pain from his relapse. And I hope it is just a bump in the road on both your recoveries. You're in my prayers.
That is a terrible feeling.. I know I have been there..The dissapointment followed by the anger sometimes overtake me... They really try i know that they do. Take the focus off of him and go for a walk, talk to a friend on the phone or better yet take a bubble bath !! Leave him on the floor but cover him then take time for YOU.. It is so hard, i know ... I pray each day that I gain the strength to let go and let GOD.. It is easier said that done thats for sure.. No words of wisdom just thoughts and prayers...
You are not alone. You will hear that until you no longer return to Al Anon, because, that is the truth. We have all been where you are to some degree. The only esh I can leave you with is (I know it is hard though) you need to take care of YOU and work YOUR program. You can't control, didn't cause and surely can't cure his alcoholism. You can only take care of you. I know it is harder said than done, but with time, you will get there! Keep coming back, because YOU are worth it!
He will either drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?
Dive into your program, and your recovery... he will either come along, or he won't..... No matter what he decides, you will become far less dependant upon what he does or doesn't do, and as a result, your life will start to become more manageable...
Take care
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
His drinking, is his choice. It could just be a slip, or it could be a relapse into his old ways. Either way you have no control over his next move, just yours.
Keep working your program, for me when I hurt the most, I tend to withdrawl, but if I really get into my program, then that is when I see the most growth.
Keep coming back.
Yours in recovery,
Dolphin123
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein