The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was wondering if you could apply some of the means that are used in finding a f2f sponsor to this situation. When I chose a f2f sponsor I went to meetings and really listened to the ESH of members. I listened to how they worked their own program. I listened for someone who would push me when I was not willing or sure how to push myself. Then I got up the courage to ask a specific person to be my sponsor. The sponsor/sponsee relationship is quite likely the first relationship that we who have been affected by this disease may have that is a healthy one. It is a huge risk to reach out, fear of rejection can be paralyzing. But that is also part of the growth we receive in this program. That being said, perhaps based on the meeting shares here on line, posts and replies etc... you may find someone that you feel you can relate to, someone working a strong program, someone who can guide you in your recovery. Then just as at a f2f meeting, you could personally ask that someone to be your sponsor, maybe in a PM.
Just my thoughts,... take what you like and leave the rest.
It is my understanding from both Alanon meetings and AA meetings, that you must ask the person. So if there is someone whom you've felt a connection here, I would PM them. I know you can't just make a general announcement in a f2f meeting, you have to approach someone. Perhaps that is why you got no replies. Please don't give up on getting a sponsor. It can take a while. My husband has several sponsor, because he has not found one that he's comfortable enough with to use for "everything". He has one that he works the steps with, because that is their strength. Another one who has very similar life experiences (ie. type A personality, professional) and one that will "kick his behind" when he needs it. It's not that one is better than the other, they are all equally good at what they do. They just each have different strengths. A year ago, he had "pretend" one. Now he has 3! That's growth and recovery.
Your time will come too. But please PM a person whom you think you would like to have. That's really the best way. Good luck! Keep coming back to us.
Live strong,
Karilynn
__________________
It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Thanks for all the adice I am sure it wasnt the way to do it ..I will work on getting it by watching and waiting .I know it might take along time ..I have had 2 sponsors in alanon face to face meetings and one had to quit cause of all her other commitments and the other died.
I do know you can get rejected have gotten rejected in face to meetings.It is been awhile since I had a sponsor can wait longer.
it was cop out for me to ask that way just didnt want to go through the process and here no and no so thanks for your comments i will do it another way.
