Last night I went to my first meeting.  It was very helpful and nice to talk with some people who have been there and done that in person. They gave me phone numbers and told me to call anytime-how comforting.  I hope I never need to call someone anytime, but it sure is nice to know that if it comes to that, they will be there.

It was also helpful to get some tips, just like here, on how to "detach with love," rather than just detach-which is what I have been doing.  I have never seen unconditional love in practice before, so it is wonderful to get some examples of what this means. 

I really have not liked my behavior lately, and have actully been ashamed of how childish I've been acting toward my A and the other members in my family when I am frustrated with the drinking and it's affects.  One of the things I struggle with is that my A is not engaged in life much-unless he is drinking.  He will, many times, fail to respond to the family or me, and if he does, it's always without animation, enthusiasm or facial expression.  I know logically that I need not set myself up for this disapointment, but I really just don't want to live a completely separate life from my parnter.  Do I really have to change my whole definition of marriage?  I guess I probably know the answer to that...