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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> my daughter
Post Info TOPIC: my daughter
dori


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my daughter
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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> My daugther
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TOPIC: My daugther

Dori
Veteran Member

Posts: 66
Date: 7:00 AM, 07/10/06
Views: 1


Edit Post | Quote | ReplyMy daugther


Hi,



  I am sick to my sotmach.I didnt sleep at all last time it is 5 am here I am .



  I have a 20 year old daugther and she has a 22 year ole boyfriend.He was left by his roomates  4 months ago and was stuggling .and I let him move in here.I know a big mistake.



   He has a job.For almost 4 months now He has not paid any bills and never no food nothing even though i ask for at least food.



  I found out from my daugther that when they go out she pays and we stuggle and he knows it .



   Lat night he said he was going to a friends house he left at 5 didnt returned till about 1 and my daugher and son both called and he didnt answer when he got home he said some thing like well maybe my phone was roaming .



  I went to be didnt say good night and slammed the door not to mature .



 I talked to my daugther and she is sick of it too so we gave him a boundarie today if he doesnt tell us the truth and start to help I want him out tonight before my daugthter gets off work.



  Was my reaction to harsh and I kept telling my self the slogans it is her fight but he lives in my house and I sure dont want him useing her and me in my own house.



 I like any suggestion .I know I messed up .it hurts cause i really loved him thought some say he be my son in law.



 dori



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dorene morrow
Christy


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hi dori..
Sorry you are having this trouble.

My only thought on this is that perhaps it may help if you are more specific with this young man. I've learned this with my own son.
I would tell him exactly what you expect of him and when. If you want $50.00 a week for his food, tell him it's due weekly on a certain day.
If you want him to help around the house, specifically tell him what his duties are.
You could even put it in writing and have him sign it so later there are no excuses.
If he fails, then he has X amount of time to leave.

It's kind of hard to "make" someone be polite and answer their phone. I guess your daughter has to decide what she will and won't put up with in the relationship.

Good Luck
Christy

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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them.  And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Dolphin123


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((((((((Dori))))))))))))),


I really have no ESH on this, my oldest is 7.


But I read what Christy posted and I think she has some great suggestions.


I hope you find what works for you.


Yours in Recovery,


Dolphin123



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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
TLC2


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Hi Dori, I can relate to what you are going through, but afraid I have no words of wisdom to offer. I think Christy had some really great ideas.


My daughter and I supported her boyfriend for quite a long time. He was a sweetheart in many ways, but too darn lazy to get out of his own way! She ended up with another guy who is absolutly wonderful, and a really hard worker.


Maybe things will work out ok in the end. Praying for you, love, TLC



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Sending lots of TLC2U
dori


Senior Member

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Posts: 252
Date:
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Hi,


 I set the boudaries and of course he got mad so we will see.I have to admit it made me sick part of wants to take care of him so i know i am still sick one day at a time keep working it


 



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dorene morrow
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