The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I posted about finding out my A was having an affair. He had taken his clothes and we had decided to end this. The next morning he came by to get a few more things and we started talking. I am not sure if I am doing the right thing by trying to work things out but this is what I want today. I am learning to live my life day to day and sometimes even minute to minute. I am working on my relationship with my higher power and trying to work on steps 2 & 3. I am just not ready to be without him yet. A part of me feels like I am being taken advantage of and being stupid but I know in my heart this is what I have to do for me right now. I am trying to read as much literature as I can and I am so thankful that we have this message board. It is so nice to post and when I get back on to check, I hear fromm people that know exactly what I am feeling and going through. I am attending f2f meetings and co-dependant meetings. There are only a few people at all of them so I am having trouble finding a sponsor and I really want to find one to help me with working the steps. Thank you all for always being here and always listening. Al-anon is such a great program and I am grateful to have found it.
I'm sorry for the pain you are feeling right now. I too have asked my AH to leave on numerous occasions and he has always come back for something and ended up staying. There have been some positives and some negatives from these experiences. Unfortunately in my situation his disease has progressed to a point I can no longer live with him and keep my serenity. Trust that your HP has a plan in mind for you, it may not always be what we think it is but there is always a plan. Keep taking care of yourself and you have my good thoughts and prayers.
No one of course can tell you to stay or leave.Right now it sounds as you doing right things and keep doing the next right thing.Get to meetings and dont give up on finding a sponsor.
I am one of the ones who left my A and didnt return well except in my thoughts and actions but now I am free.it took a while and worknig hard at letting go.The only thing I want to tell you on the other side of all the pain there is freedom if you stay or go.
Keep worknig the steps and dont give up till you see the miracle and then do it again .
