Now I can't be sure about this, but last night something hit me. I don't have to care. I don't have to spend my time worrying about what he will or won't do. He's not my responsibility. I don't have to feel bad about what he's doing or saying to me. I have no idea where this came from. I mean two days ago I was really upset. I had a meeting with my therapist and we were talking about the times when my father actually hit me. I came home and for two days I was really upset. It brought up all these horrible feelings, and then I heard that song, that definately didn't help. I think writing those letters helped me in a weird way. That and just crying. I don't know, I was just at my friend's party last night and all of a sudden out of nowhere, it just hit me. Have I finally let go? Have I finally given it over to my higher power? I mean this feels amazing, but I'm still weary. I mean I've felt this way (kind of) (not to this extent but still) before, and then when he does something else, it sends me on my downward spiral yet again. I'm trying to be optimistic and let this be the end of all the pain and hurt. It's not worth my time anymore, I have my family, my new job, and myself to worry about. And trust me, for a 15 year old girl, I think that's just plenty.

Mira