The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Sometimes.... it is kinda like a "let go and let God" kinda thing.... but we actually DO have way more friends and family than we think we do, they just may not be the ones we had in mind....
I met a really incredible person through my ex's addictions.... he was Gary, a spiritual, gentle, stuggling alcoholic/addict... He helped me learn about addiction, I helped him learn about so-called normal life.... we became the most unlikely of friends, but there was a deep bond there.... He phoned me many times when he was scared of using.... I used to call him lots just to bounce stuff off him.... Gary came from a very dysfunctional family, abusive father, neglectful mother, etc.... He always longed for that love soooo much, and it never came.
Gary had some long spans of sobriety, but ultimately he allowed his demons to win out, and he took his own life at the age of 40. I went to Vancouver for his funeral, and it was overflowing with people, mostly in varying stages of recovery.... There were likely over 200 people at his service.... The pastor gave a nice sermon, and then they opened up the microphone to anyone who wanted to talk (note to self - if you want a quick service, don't offer an open mike to a group of alcoholics!! lol). The stories, for the next 90 minutes or so, were breathtaking and incredible. Gary touched so many people's lives, helped soooo many people find their sobriety, was deeply loved by so many people in AA and Al-Anon circles in Vancouver.... What I realized that day - was Gary basically "gave up" because he could never receive the love of his traditional family.... What he failed to see, is that his real family, who loved him very much, and cherished everything he stood for, was right in front of him - it was his recovery family.
So I'll challenge you a bit back on that one today Barbara, in a good way.... Yes, some here don't have good "traditional family support", but that doesn't have to mean that they don't have family that cares about them...
Take care
Tom
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I can soooo identify with your friend. The other night I was feeling sooo low that thoughts of "no longer being around" did cross my mind. Like why bother? (NO I wouldnt but I could understand how your friend felt). Unfortunately I havent gotten to the point where I hangout with ppl from program so for now I need to be on my own. At holiday times it sucks.
For Mothers Day I had a backup plan. I took my 13yr son out for lunch. Maybe this weekend I should have just gone away?
Traditional family is what makes me think of ending it some days. Thanks for the story.
Seems if your own family doesn't want/love you.... well who would. Feels hopeless. Why can one not recognize maybe it is the traditional family that is sick. That not having their love is really not a loss.
