The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's writer in Hope for Today learned that carrying the message, as stated in Step Twelve, does not mean they have to convert other people to Al-Anon. They can share their own experience, strength, and hope, but how that is received is out of their control. They can respond to direct questions about the program and inform people about its existence. But they can't expect everyone to embrace the idea. They can carry the message, and know that who hears it is up to higher powers.
Thought for the Day: How I respond to someone's lack of interest in Al-Anon may convey the message of recovery better than any detailed personal testimony.
Quote from Paths to Recovery: "The problem is that those who need it do not always want it. We can share our experience, strength, and hope with them and be a good example of Al-Anon recovery by practicing its principles in all our affairs."
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When I first heard "Let It Begin With Me" at a meeting, I felt inspired. I felt like marching out into the world and telling everyone about Al-Anon. As I have grown in understanding, I now know it doesn't mean I have to do everything -- whether it is Al-Anon service or just helping another person -- I don't have to do the beginning, middle, and end. I don't have to do all of it. I just have to do my part and leave the rest up to higher powers. When the student is ready, if they want me to be their teacher, I will be there. Al-Anon will be there. But I can't control someone else.
I have a good friend whose partner is an alcoholic. I met her in Al-Anon, but she no longer attends meetings. She is doing other things for self-development, but not things specific to having an alcoholic in her life. It's a bit of a balancing act for me to be supportive without saying, "Hey, get back into meetings, read our literature, get a sponsor, work the steps, learn about the disease of alcoholism, it will help you in this relationship." But I know better than do do that. Sometimes I share an Al-Anon insight or slogan, and she appreciates these. She is just not working a program the same way I do. She is living her life her own way. Just like I want to be free to do.
Good Morning Freetime. Thank you for your service/ESH. We received some alarming news from my husband's doctor yesterday. Al-Anon principles, member shares like "there's no point in planning for catastrophes because it never happens the way it does in your head" helped to ground me. I reflected how an inventory has helped me see the truth about myself. Fear leads me to react rather than respond in a sane manner. I admitted to myself that I was mad at God for throwing another curveball at us. Your post reminded me to stay with Al-Anon because it keeps me open to give/receive (spiritual) solutions that work! Grateful for MIP. Have a fantastic Friday.
Thank you Freetime for your service and the daily. As with most things, I wanted to work this program perfectly, and then of course convert the world. That's just a part of my disease - the all/nothing, black/white side of my brain that's still adapting to the reality that I'm a perfectly imperfect person.
I am always ready to be of service. Shouting recovery from the rooftops has never worked for me. If instead, I just practice these principals in my affairs as best I can and try to be of service when asked, the miracle of attraction vs. promotion happens. My experience has been that living recovery vs. preaching recovery is a healthier choice for me.
It is amazing that when asked, many recovery slogans and tools arrive in my shares. I recently rode in a golf cart with a new friend who started their day with a shot of whiskey in their coffee. It was a cold day so my recovery radar went on. Yet, I figured 'who am I to ....' The very next day, it was warm out and there was again a pre-round influx of alcohol. Everything in me wanted to spark a conversation about this disease and recovery. Instead, I've opted to pause and pray before I proceed.
Another of my golf pals is living through hell on earth right now as his wife's alcoholism has consumed everything in their world. Again, I've wanted to 'save the world' and again, I've opted instead to pause and pray before I proceed. In both of these instances, what I continue to do is be a friend, be supportive, offer empathy and to be of service if needed.
My life experience, in my own home and beyond, suggests that most people don't want advice or help unless they ask. I truly am grateful to this program for teaching me that I can be of service by just being. Love and light all - make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
All good shares here and Hugs to you Daffodils for what you're going through.
This reading made me think of someone within the past year was preaching/lecturing to people about God. They told me a story about how one person was offended by it and they had an argument over it. They told me they couldn't understand how someone could be so "stupid" to not believe there's a God or not believe the way they do,not go to church,etc. I simply asked them "don't you think it's better to lead by example?" It really made them stop and think and I have noticed that since then they don't try to force it on other people and they seem way more happy and peaceful. And I also noticed when they post things on FB about their self instead of what others should or shouldn't be doing,people are more receptive and interactive and agree,like,interested in their church,etc.
I believe that's the same with this program,that it's better to lead by example. I read the shares and learn so much. I am grateful that nobody tells anyone what they should or shouldn't do,how they should do it, how "stupid" they are for not doing things how they are,etc. If I ever get to the point where I have progressed enough in this program that someone would actually come to me and ask me about the reason I seem so different I think I would just ask if they've ever heard of Alanon and leave it at that. Actually, I am hoping one day my son(adult) will say something and ask so he too can learn there's a better way of life when dealing with his Dad. But first it needs to begin with me and I want to lead by example.
Thanks FT for your service and for all the wonderful ESH above. {{{Daffodils}}}
When I first came to the rooms and heard, Let it begin with me, I selfishly thought: What the heck? I'm a wreck and I need help. Why do I have to carry a message of hope when I'm full out of hope myself. Of course, over time, the messages of our program became clear to me: just like I believe, treat others the way you want to be treated, is essentially, let it begin with me. Time takes time and our program works when I work it.
