The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The writer says that we punish ourselves far more than life does. We have the power to change our lives if we are willing to use it. Suggestions are to root out doubt and fear from our qualifier's drinking. Suspicion may creep up even if sobriety is attained, for instance if they are late. We should accept God's gifts of mental sobriety, contentment, and serenity.
Reminder: Mental sobriety is a state of reasonableness, rational judgment, & balance. It is emotional sickness when we continue to be apprehensive and anxious when we really have no reason to doubt.
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I can say that I have mental sobriety most of the time, but it's taken me the better part of 10 yrs in program to accomplish this. OMG it wasn't easy. An alcohol counselor used to tell me I could be happy, that it was my choice. That comment was like telling me I could stand in front of a train and not get flattened--it seemed impossible. But by working a program that works for me, which includes daily contact with program, a F2F meeting now on zoom, several program friends with whom I exchange ideas with, touching base with a sponsor when needed, and practice, practice, practice, yes indeed, it works!
Mental sobriety,that's an interesting way to look at this. I guess I am totally not sober in that regard.
If I stay in the car and someone runs in the store to grab a package of hamburger I am assuming/hoping/trusting that's all they will be buying. But I sit and wonder what else they're getting,will there be a bottle of whiskey along with it? Will they be drinking it if there is one? How will their behavior be afterwards? How will I react to it? What will the rest of my day be like? Well,my day is ruined already. And then my day IS ruined,just from my own thinking.
Sometimes there is more than hamburger,sometimes there's not. Either way, I am doing the same thing.
Thank you Lyne for your service and everyone's shares. I was in one my crappy moods...troubled by nothing but my own thoughts. The ESH highlighting LOVING detachment, surrendering daily to steps 1, 2,3 and staying focused on my own life choices snapped me back into a positive attitude. What would have been a gloomy day has turned brighter...and I kid you not, the sun just came out as I am typing this...hmmm
Lyne - thank you for your service and the daily. What I know is that mental sobriety for me first came when I put myself and my self-care first. It lapses or fades each time I flip flop my priorities and put another or their issues first. What's most alarming is this can happen in my life, brain and heart in an instant, unconsciously, and without intent.
The only way I know how to hold tight to my mental sobriety and emotional sobriety is practicing this program as suggested. Putting me first, practicing prayer & meditation, detaching, self-care, using boundaries and when I catch myself and my focus shifting to those things beyond my control, take whatever action necessary to come back to what is healthy and more within my control - me, my actions, my words, my thoughts, etc.
I am one who needs to be reminded that every single person I love and/or come in contact with has hurts, regrets, issues, etc. My pain is not more important than another and each of us deserves healing and joy. My joy is my responsibility and nobody else's. The opposite is also true - it's not my job to make another happy, healthy or whole.
When I truly trust the God of my understanding and lean in to my recovery, I can find comfort in knowing each of us has a Higher Power, and in no circumstance is that me. It's taken me a lifetime to begin to understand what I need some of the time; it is unhealthy a insane for me to think I know what any other needs. I personally find my 'happy place' mostly by being of service to myself and others in combination with being grateful for all that I do have vs. that which I don't have.
Happy Monday all - I spent the day volunteering at the golf course. It was booked solid with folks standing by as it was a record setting warm day and the next 10 are going to be cold - winter cold. It's amazing to me that we had 8 inches of snow on the ground just a few days ago and 70 degrees today. I wish I was playing but had fun and it was great to get out of the house!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Hi to everyone on MIP, where I live it is Tuesday, I always seem to be a day behind, but never mind. Have just finished reading all the shares, and they were great,If I am having a not so good day, especially when I am in my head, touching base with this MIP, and all the sharings of others, can bring me back, centered, where I like to be. I don't need anyone to drive me crazy, I can do a good enough job all by myself.
On reading about Mental sobriety, was interesting, as know I know that is what I cause myself at time. The Mental part I mean. I now have a name for it. But I can remember when I was at a AA weekend, and one of my friends shared about Emotional Sobriety, it touched me, and I started to think deeply about it. For I liked the sound of it, especially when he explained what it means for him. I borrowed it after that, and started to ask questions, and listen to my friends in AA, as I always thought that sobriety was their issue, as I was not an Alcoholic. But early days in Al-Anon for me was being told that I was a co-Alcoholic, I used to burr up about that. But on learning more, about the Disease, I came to understand, that I don't have to drink to be affected, I was. So I had work to do, and still do.
So, thank you for this sharing, and when I lose the plot again, and go into my head, I will be careful and remember about Mental Sobriety, and ask myself how important mine is to me. I do know that I am responsible for everything about myself, my happiness, sadness, etc, etc,. Thank Heavens, for Al-Anon, and the MIP board and all that share.
