The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reflection starts at the end of the page with the Thought for the Day: I tried to get God to listen to me through my prayers. He did, once I stopped telling Him what to do.
The writer describes evolution of prayer from: praying not to be punished by God, to praying for specific outcomes in various situations, to trusting that we dont have all the answers but can trust that God does. The writer begins with the belief that when bad things were happening, it was a result of mistakes on his/her part. The writer would pray for these punishments to end. The writer went on to pray for an end to his/her fathers drinking. After coming to alanon, attending meetings and work with a sponsor, the prayers changed to words like: Im glad Youre in charge because theres nothing I can do.
Understanding and accepting that there are scenarios we have no control over can bring such a relief to us (where once there may have been anxiety). For me, like many other things, this line of thinking brings me back to the serenity prayer- working on what I have the ability to change, accepting what I cant and being able to sort out the difference. My next line would be trusting that God/HP will handle it.
Thanks Mary for your service. I've been asking God to enter into the hearts and minds of others to agree to disagree...peacefully. Well, yesterday our furnace broke down and I was forced to focus on my own business ! Anyways, tech came and will complete job Monday. He left us a supersafe space heater. We snuggled under blankets and I counted my blessings. I am using the time to reread and absorb posts I scanned when I was too busy trying to fix the world. lol Again I see how "I am my primary qualifier for this program ". Have a great day...today pizza, wings and Superbowl and thankful( ? ) my team is out so I can relax.. :)
Not too long ago I had someone insinuate that bad things had happened in my life because " you gotta watch what you pray for(their words to me)". It was very upsetting and I felt like omg,I caused this,maybe I should stop praying altogether.
After much thought and reflection I chose to ignore what that person had said. The bad things that happened weren't my fault at all. My HP knows what's in my heart and isn't going to punish me for not praying perfectly. Besides, there's no tricking a HP, there's no correct wording that needs to be used,words to be omitted,no worries about being scammed or ridiculed or duped by my HP. It's ok that they perceive their HP as vengeful and a reason to be fearful, that's not how mine is.
But it has changed the way I pray. Not in the way this person said though. It made me realize I don't even have to pray anything other than saying "you know the situation and know what's in my heart and what's best."Or I don't even have to say anything at all, sometimes my tears are enough.
I'm hopefully gonna have a lazy day of rest and relaxation,I definitely need it and deserve it. I hope everyone has a good day!
Thank you Mary for your service, reading and to you, Daffodils and SF for all your ESH!
Welcome back SF!!! I agree with you SF, I used to pray everyday asking for the same things and I stopped that because my HP knows me and what is in my heart and I trust that life is what it should be and that it is up to me to listen and learn compassionately for myself and others. Praying everyday was controlling on my part and glad I realized that.
Daffodils I am hopeful for a speedy resolution to your furnace issues and glad that you have a space heater and are warm!!
I have a repair scheduled for my dryer tomorrow, poor thing is over 30 years old, but hopeful it can be repaired.
It is lightly snowing here today in Southern New England USA and the trip to my parents has been postponed again. They left their Christmas tree up because we were unable to make it there for the holidays and every time we plan again it gets postponed!!! I told my mother yesterday that we are going to end up celebrating Easter with the Christmas tree up!!!
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
Happy Sunday MIP. Thank you Mary for your service and the daily. What you describe is 'me' to a T. I began my spiritual journey with organized religion and began with not getting in trouble. I then shifted to praying for my wants. With little/no success from my prayer patterns, I stepped away from organized religion for a long, long while - other reasons too.
I vividly recall seeing the word God in the steps when I arrived at recovery. I was immediately repelled inside me since my former patterns/experience did not end 'my way'. I love that another who came before me suggested I view those 3 letters as 'Good Orderly Direction' instead of the definition of the past.
With tons of practice, willingness and time, I've come to have a much different understanding and concept of the God of my understanding. I am not a mistake, nor are others around me. We are all perfectly imperfect placed here for a reason, unknown to any of us. When I focus on doing the next right thing, set aside my wants, focus on my needs, practice unconditional acceptance and love, I'm living a spiritual life. The God of my understanding doesn't punish me for my mistakes, unconditionally loves and forgives me so ... why not try to replace the negative energy in my mind/heart with an abundant grace larger than life?
My prayers, like many other elements of my life, are fairly simple today. I trust more in God's will for me and others, so start there with my intentions. I am a passionate human, so do focus on patience, tolerance and understanding in my intentions. When I stay in my lane, focused on my life, things go way better than not.
Enjoy your day all - I'm also watching the SB and my team is out so am excited for the commercials!!! Make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
