The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I tested positive for covid on Sunday. I feel awful physically. I am staying home for the next 5 days from work. It has been awful being at home. My bf has me locked away in our bedroom and doesn't let me out. He says he doesn't want to risk getting infected. I've been drinking water from the tap and I had a half eaten Christmas butter cookie tin in my room. I didn't feel hungry the first 2 days because I had nausea. Today, I asked him to please make me a sandwich and put it outside the door so we have no contact. He threw a fit saying that I wanted him to get infected and die. He told me that I should get a hotel room for him to stay in until I test negative. That it's my fault for bringing home the illness so I should pay for him to stay safe away from me. I told him I barely make enough to pay the bills (he doesn't work right now he always gets jobs but then gets fired) Im going to have to leave this room to get food from the kitchen but idk how it's going to go because his reactions to everything are so excessive. I'm going to try to sneak out of my room when he is asleep. I will just bring all non perishable items so I can have something to eat until I'm better. Covid itself is bad enough to have but having no one take care of you in this time feels worse. Having covid has taught me that this man has no love or care for me whatsoever. I know it's contagious and I shouldn't have contact with anyone but I also need care. Idk what the right thing to do is.
Sending hugs. I am so sorry that you are experiencing the insanity of alcoholism in a time of illness. It sucks. There is nothing sensible about a partner trying to keep you locked in a room and attempting to deny you food. I am sharing that because I remember in similiar times I would question my own sanity wondering if it was me or if this really was odd. Is there anyone who you can call for help? If you are scared for your safety, I would be thinking of looking up DV services for woman, there might be help available there even if it is to give you some options. Sending you lots of support. I hope you are ok.
{{{new girl}}}. I'm truly sorry about your current situation. You are correct--covid by itself is horrible and to have no support or compassion sounds unbearable. I feel the way a4l does--is there any family around or friends that can assist you at this dire point in time? You need nutrition and hydration and to bathe, etc., etc. Please try to find help in your location. Prayers to you....
He left last night. He went to stay at a friend's house. He wouldn't say whose house and at this point I don't care. Hope he stays wherever he went forever. After he threw his fit and left I was able to go to the kitchen. I made myself a grilled cheese sandwich and a tomato soup. I locked all the inside deadbolts so I'm safe and secure. I live 6 hours from my hometown I don't have family and friends close by. I have friendly coworkers but they are not close friends. I'm going to order Walmart delivery for items I am lacking. My first priority is to get better from covid then I will deal with him later.
Welcome to MIP NewGirl1717 - glad you found us and that you shared. I am sorry that you are sick and have no support. Covid is no fun - I've been spared but cared for both of my parents when they got it shortly after it all started. I will readily admit that I was very fearful of catching it and as an anal retentive germaphobe, I was extremely diligent with distancing, disinfectants, sanitizer, masks, etc.
I read this thread and my mind went to one day at a time and when we reach out for help, it does happen. I realize it would have been preferred if your guy had been helpful, supportive and 'of service'. No doubt about it. Yet, instead, he departed and you were able to do self-care and make a plan for your care/recovery.
Happy to hear your priority is you...and you've set him aside for now - great plan! Focus on you, one moment or day at a time and know we're all here as best we can be. I can/will sing praises for Walmart - pick up and delivery. Since the pandemic started, it's become my go-to for all things - groceries, toiletries, paint and more! I have no had to go into a store for more than 2 years and quite frankly am thrilled and saving money. I was a browser/buyer and sales were my 'jam'. Now, I actually plan my meals, prepare my needs, place the order and voila - all is well! I may never return to the 'before' mode!
Sending tons of thoughts/prayers for a speedy recovery for you! Keep coming back - there's always hope & help in recovery!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
((NewGirl1717)). I pray that you will continue to be graced with blessings to carry you through the challenges you are facing. I am so glad you reached out and were given support and guidance from MIP. Please stay vigilant in focusing on your health and safety. May your day be filled with peace and serenity.
new girl, let us know how your recovery from covid is going, as you care for yourself and know that you can. It's wonderful to have a helper but I also had to learn to depend on myself. It's not how I thought my marriage would be, but alanon is teaching me many useful and important things. Keep coming back. :)
Thank you all for you messages they mean a lot to me. I was able to do a zoom doctor appointment with my doctor and got meds delivered. I'm getting better very slowly but now I have meds and nutrition to help heal my body. I'm also alone so the calm of the house is healing. I haven't heard from him in days and to be honest I feel better not hearing from him it will stress me out. I won't be able to go to work because I am not fever free and I still have symptoms. Luckily I had paid for the rent and utilities for the month and I have a few sick days I can still use before I start to get docked pay. Thank you for everything. I felt so alone trapped in my room this board helped me feel better.
NG - so glad to hear that you're mending! Take good care of you and know we're always here! Sending healing thoughts and prayers your way!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
NewGirl - I am so glad to hear that you have been able to care for yourself. Getting that Teledoc appointment was important. I just wanted to let you know this... double check with your state regulations. I hope for your sake that your home stays quiet & chaos free!
"Two weeks (up to 80 hours) of paid sick leave at the employee's regular rate of pay where the employee is unable to work because the employee is quarantined (pursuant to Federal, State, or local government order or advice of a health care provider), and/or experiencing COVID-19 symptoms and seeking a medical diagnosis; "..
pnp
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
