The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In today's reading, the author reflects on Step 3 - turning my life over to the care of a Higher Power.
At first, the author was confused - how could they do this? The author's need for control made the thought of turning their life over to the care of a Higher Power very scary. The author wasn't sure they could trust their HP to be there.
At a speaker meeting, the author heard the speaker say that turning our will and life over to our Higher Power is like dancing with a partner - when both try to lead, there is confusion and little forward movement. When the dancing partner who is following can relax and let the other partner steer, the couple flows across the dance floor.
Today's Reminder: If I feel the bucking of uncertainty, despair, or fear, I can take it as a sign that I have gotten out of step. Then I can ask the God of my understanding to help me be a more willing partner.
Today's Quote: "There are no guarantees that life will turn out the way we would like, but the program has shown me God's will is the only way; it is up to me to work with Him and turn my life and will over to His care and guidance." ... In All Our Affairs
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I have often tried to set my own course, draw my own map, and follow my own path. Things tend to not work out very well for me when I do this. I have found over the years that when I relax, focus on doing the next right things, and stay open to possibilities, great opportunities present themselves to me. If I trust that things will be ok, and take advantage of opportunities, they lead me in directions I could not have imagined. This is how I understand turning my will over to the care of my higher power. I stay in the present, focusing on doing the next right thing, and look for opportunities that present themselves to me. I then try to become willing to take advantage of those opportunities, and follow where they lead me.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Skorpi, thank you for your ESH and the opportunity to think about this topic. I found that I felt an affinity to Step Two -- Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity -- because I felt I was losing my sanity and I needed to believe! But believe in what? Step Three -- Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him -- that was intimidating. Turn it over?? Wait a minute. Turn it over to whom??
As I came to understand my Higher Power, it is multi-faceted and different parts have helped me at different times. I like the analogy of dancing with a partner. My Higher Power is not about me being out there on the dance floor all by myself -- neither is it following someone's lead unquestioningly. It is a partnership, a give and take. My Higher Power is made up of people, and when I am open with those I can trust, then I can take the insights they share with me to help me decide my next steps. Sometimes I don't like what I hear from them, but when I give it time, I might better understand what they mean and why it is wise.
At first, I hadn't paid attention to the word "care" in this step. When I finally noticed it, I realized that was key. I can turn my will over to those who truly care about me -- those who care without needing to control.
Thanks Skorpi for your service and for all above ESH. I remember being new to program and getting acquainted with the Steps. I was kind of annoyed--after all, I had spent years in therapy trying to establish self-esteem and asserting myself, etc. Now I was being told to give it all away! I didn't like it! But as I learned more about program, and I already had a God of my understanding, it became OK to ask for and lean on, my HP. And I've come to realize that I need all the help I can get, and HP is there for me, so it's all good.
