The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's page reminds that if ending active alcoholism was the answer to all our relationship challenges, all relationships would be perfect in the absence of alcoholism.
Unarguably, alcoholism increases the challenges in a relationship by aggravating and putting additional strain or emphasis on existing character defects of all involved.
It is a spiritual recovery and focus on defects of character that Alanon purposes, not a game plan for stopping someone's drinking. This greater purpose has utility in our life and in all our affairs, not just when dealing with the alcoholic.
Reminder: If a comfortable fit in all environments and relationships is my goal, Alanon can help. Alcoholism may be how we find Alanon, but it can remain a powerful resource for the rest of our life
"We, all of us, need some kind of philosophy to live by," commented an AA speaker, "so I'll just settle for the Twelve Steps". -----------------------------
Prior to finding Alanon, I truly felt alcoholic drinking was the source of most problems in my relationship; get the drinking stopped, life would be good.
In Alanon I learned that in addition to alcohol, the list of things I could not control extended to all people, places and things outside of myself. The insanity I felt came from trying to use my flawed, limited set of tools and tactics to try.
The moment I realized that was one of the biggest worldview changes I have experienced, as I realized that I had been just as unsuccessful in my efforts to control other areas of my life.
This was not about someone else's drinking, it was about me. I needed, and wanted, a change, something different... I wanted Serenity.
Every day I find new ways to use the principles and Steps of Alanon; its power is truly endless. I am so grateful for its wisdom
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Thank you Paul for your service and share. I certainly relate to this reading as I had faulty thinking for most of my life. My priorities were off base and I did not know how to change things. I was easily affected by others, and most of those affecting me were addicted in a variety of ways. And I had to accept that I could not control others, and on a good day, I may have some control over myself. Im in some very trying times at the moment, and I am grateful I have this program and so many people to help me on this journey.
Thank you Paul for your service. I can definitely relate to alanon being good for all our affairs. I did not consciously realise that alcohol was the problem. It was normal to me growing up with it. I came to understand how insidious alcoholism is to everything beyond the mere drinking events, nonetheless.
Family disease.
I have found that many of the isms of alcoholism and addiction are present in everyday society, socially and professionally too. I am now at a stage of combining a recovery me to all my affairs and not just within the safety of my controlled environment. This has taken many years. I am challenged by it. I used to think that in order to be a recovered person in the world it would be neccesary to enlighten my contemporaries as to their own shortcomings and the reasoning for those shortcomings. I really did feel that way. To me recovery was a miracle that could change the world. It is indeed a miracle, but I understand better now that we work on attraction as promotion by the way we show up in our lives. NO active conversion required, lol.
I feel appreciative today that my recovery tree is rooted in it's own soil and growing steadily, that it will continue to grow regardless of whatever else pops up around in it's vicinity.
Happy Tuesday MIP. Thank you Paul for your service and the daily. Thank you all for your shares and ESH. I am truly grateful to this program and all the tools within. I am also grateful for the gift of time. 12 Step recovery is the only 'effort' in my life where I am not trying to be the best, or finish/graduate. I accept now that I will be a life-longer member and so long as I remain humble and open, I will keep learning new ways to be authentic, serene and joyful.
In all our affairs - what I know is that each day, whether this disease that brought me here is close or not, I can use the tools, concepts, steps and support in every encounter. My insanity was bigger than this disease so therefore is my recovery. I am finding that consistent boundaries, the ability to detach and my go-to tools of Pausing/Praying/before Proceeding work for all things that baffle me.
Believing in a power greater than self certainly leads my ways/days. It is so refreshing for me to be able to accept that which I can not change and to freely focus on that which I can. This program has truly given me a new way to see all things around me and to have more clarity in my affairs.
The heat/wave continues here. I got a bit dizzy yesterday in spite of my best efforts to be/stay hydrated. Today was even hotter - grateful for shade when outdoors and A/C when indoors. It is so many small things in my life that I no longer take for granted, thanks to recovery. The heat continues for a few more days. We have a huge youth tournament next week which consumes all 27 holes on the golf course, and requires hundreds of volunteers. I'm excited to see the talent of our local youth on the course!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
