I got over the weirdness I had towards my boyfriend not calling me the other night.  We talked it over, he approached it, he dealt with it and for ONCE IN MY LIFE - the person I am dating actually cared enough to solve the issue and not just ignore it and think it would go away.  In fact he did the opposite and talked it out until he thought I felt better and said he would do it for 2 weeks straight if he had to. 

I do have tons of emotional crap to get through after being toyed with for close to a decade of my life.  I never felt good enough and always felt that the guys I was dating were settling for me instead of being happy being with me.  I really do put alot of that blame on my ex (The A) because of him coming in and out of my life for a decade and making my self-esteem drop through the floor.  He was too wrapped up in when he would get his next high whether it be an emotional or physical high to care about what he was doing to me (however months to years later I would aways get that candy coated apology).  But I have moved on from him - and the stupid stuff I put up with for that long has to disappear too for me to be happy with my boyfriend.  These are the choices I made - and I chose to be good to myself and to take care of myself first and foremost.  I wont be afraid to speak my mind out of fear of someone leaving me.  I can be alone and survive.  But I am chosing to open my heart to someone who appears to sincerely care about me.