The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today I am beginning with the quotation from the Thought for the Day: Alcoholism doesnt have to be active in my life for me to be affected by it. The writer begins by acknowledging that it took quite a while before gettin to step one, admitting powerlessness over alcohol. How could that be the case, if she was independent, sober for 10 years, not living with an alcoholic? After hearing others at meetings the writer was still unable to make a connection to powerlessness. After some time, she felt a spiritual awakening in the realization that as a young daughter of an alcoholic, she was powerless. In order to survive all of the fallout from living with an alcoholic father, she developed defenses; when she no longer needed them they turned into character defects. Even as an adult no longer living with the disease, she was powerless over the effects of alcoholism. That awareness brought her to understand that her father was powerless also, to the disease and also to the very same effects as a young boy of his own fathers alcoholism. This insight brought clarity and understanding, compassion and forgiveness.
This reading is so powerful and resonated on many levels for me. When I came into the program I began to see what I had accepted as acceptable no longer fit my life. It took a good while for me to understand that changing the situation (for me, no longer living with an alcoholic) was crucial but it also did not change the fact that I was (and am) powerless over alcohol and all the fallout from it. I also grew up with a family steeped in alcoholism, and untreated alcoholics are at the mercy of this disease. I can see that I have used many defenses in my life that no longer serve me. I work on these character defects now. An example- not everything needs to be joked about, or answered in sarcasm. Like many of you, I have found that going through the steps more than once and at different stages of life is a profound way to understand better the effects alcohol have had on my life. I used to answer feeling powerless with being controlling; these days I can embrace the idea that there are plenty of situations that I am not able to control.
Good morning Mary and MIP. Thank you for the daily and your service. Today, I am continuous amazed at how 'words' challenged me for most of my life. Just the word powerlessness when I arrived equated to 'weakness' in my mind and frame of reference. Much of the same with the word humility, surrender, etc. I just could not 'see' a way to find peace and joy by leaning towards what appeared to me to be a weaker position.
As a life-long right-fighter, I struggled for a long while to embrace that my best power doesn't come from my will, my thinking and my 'power' -- instead, it comes from choosing to have faith in a power greater than I. As foreign as all this was when I arrived, I do now know that I have the best days when I am able to rely on my HP, stay in my own lane and embrace what is mine to manage vs. what is others to manage.
Enjoy your Sunday MIP. I am off shortly to get my grocery pick-up order and then supposed to golf this afternoon. Make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Good Day Mary. Thank you for your service. Right now I am exhausted and overwhelmed. I thought I was doing ok assuming I could detach by allowing my hubby to ride his rollercoaster while I walk the bridge to healing. Yeah sure. Easier thought than done. I did find a great Al Anon talk by Father Tom which has kept me from buying a ticket for another ride. I am moving forward on the bridge to safety by a) applying slogans as necessary b) not abandoning self care and c) not giving in to temptation to withdraw from supports. I appreciate all the posts and glad I checked . I noticed my nerves were more rattled in the past few days by simply not reading Al Anon material. Thank God for Sobercast podcasts. I will take it one hour at a time. Have a great day.
Eileen
I am thinking of my AA friend who would have taken up meeting time going into even nook and cranny of the topic.
Ok, so there were only two of us at this AA Open meeting... ...
I can compare the future of our kids- and the kids of my brothers and sister- who did not go to Alanon.
I know that compassions are odious- but there is a difference...
I am much more relaxed about the steps. I do keep repeating the same points sometimes- which I vowed never to do.
But I am writing this for myself- just as much as you. Journalling as a way of sharing is fairly new. But this is having a discernible impact on my life.
Sick of crawling up the steps- and crashing and burning when I reach to top- falling back down to Step One.
Picturing the steps as the numbers on the clock.
Picking up on points I might have missed- the first, second, or third time round.
Getting much more clarity from the readings. Moving away from the hurry, hurry, hurry, of a F2F group where sharing time is really at a premium.
I am still processing a lot of impressions from an Alanon study day. And with 6 hours of car time with two other male members. Oh my- that saved me many many trips up and down the gorge to attend their meeting!
In this MIP meeting someone will always read a share and get something out of it!
And yes- I read and share; share and read. A great way of learning!
Thank you Debb for sharing that it took years...and thank you David for input to "share away" and continuous learning. My hubby asked me to accompany him to a doctor's appointment on the 9th and I immediately said yes even though I have an appointment at the Foot Clinic that day. I have been waiting since December! I caught myself grumbling within -annoyed because I chose to put his needs ahead of my own. This is a concrete example of how I end up blamestorming. He could go alone but I fear he may not go or perceive me as being non supportive. I guess this is where having a sponsor will come in handy...Thanks for listening.
Thanks Mary, Iam, Dafs, and Debb...
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