Thank you for contributing to my healing. I've been up for 3 hours reading current and archived posts. I now have energy to shower, go for a walk and prep Sunday dinner. Have a day filled with blessings.

Thank you Mary for today's reading, your service and ESH.

I did not grow up in an alcoholic family, but I remember there was plenty of dysfunction.

I try to use those painful past experiences to find answers to why they may still affect me, because

I chose two spouses who are/were verbally abusive. I discovered that there was lots of, behind the

scenes control mechanisms and too many secrets that made me feel self conscious and left out.

What it essentially did was it made me feel unwanted and defensive. I chose partners that essentially

felt caring and strong, but were ultimately good con men. Al-Anon has been instrumental in giving

me the tools to research and learn about myself and see that the past maybe held the answers

to my personality and at the same time helped me overcome them and work on bringing the present

into focus so that I can move forward feeling better about myself and my life. Very grateful Al-Anon

and MIP member!!!

Wishing everyone peace.

Good morning MIP and happy to all. I am missing the bright sunshine of the last 2 days yet am 'giddy' about the weather forecast for the week ahead....I absolutely love in Springtime when things start to turn green from brown, bulbs begin popping up and all seems to come awake from a restful period.

Thank you Mary for your service and the daily. I am one who can trace this disease back 4 or 5 generations. Yet, most of my knowledge about my family and the past has become known as I've become an adult. I have known for a while that both of my grandfathers were alcoholics, each having a completely different experience with the disease. My parents are both untreated Adult Children and I am the only one of four in recovery.

I do not know a single person who does not carry some level of trauma from their past. I know for me that when present 'life' happens, my mind (from habit) wants to race to the past as a reference for what may happen next. For me, this is not a healthy step, simply because when I rely on the past for potential outcomes, I am setting aside my own growth in recovery, my maturity and wisdom in aging and most importantly my trust and faith in a power greater than I who really has the master plan.

When I am spiritual fit, I do better at opening the door to the past trauma of my life - to learn and see how far I have come. I no longer carry the weight of 'that' instead, have it packed in a corner for research only. I know that when I try to revisit the past and am not spiritually fit, I am more likely to stir up fear and pain. I do believe the only way to be present and positively anticipate the future is to let go of the past and trust the God of my understanding.

Practicing unconditional love and acceptance has been so very, very helpful for me in my recovery. When I am able to embrace others exactly as they are, as well as events, I am more able to find the good and lessons in every single event, present and past. I am not saying that I am grateful for the abuse or 'other' of my past trauma, yet that experience showed me how I don't want to be, and that I have a choice one day at a time to break cycles of disease and insanity in my lineage.

As I ponder all this, much of my learning has come about by knowing what I don't like, don't want to be, etc. A continual process of elimination through aging has brought me to a simple place today where I just intend to keep trusting God, cleaning my own 'house' and being of service. These 3 simple concepts that I explore each day give me the best results and align with my ultimate goal of peace of mind and heart.

Make it a great day all - find and keep your joy! For those who care, Joel's sermon today was/is, "Trouble is Temporary"....good messaging!!

Thank you Mary for your service, and to all who have shared their experiences.

I am coming to terms with my FOO's stories/experiences... something that has shaped who I am today... b/c that is what has shaped them. Or at least who I was. Today I learn and grow through Al-Anon. Not always perfect, but certainly intent on changing! I am finding that I am dwelling too often with the past of my marriage as of late. It brings up melancholy. I know that I need to acknowledge it, but pack it away. I think it was important for me to see another say that one cannot change the past, and it is futile to try...it cannot bring you peace.
It kind of reminds me of the trend lately to "rewrite the past." If you say it loud enough and long enough, then people will begin to believe the fallacy instead of what actually occurred. The "Truth" gets buried in all the noise. The noise can be in my head as well... trying to deny what occurred and my role.

Thank you
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