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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> February 11, 2021 – ODAT – The First Step
Post Info TOPIC: February 11, 2021 – ODAT – The First Step
Debb


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February 11, 2021 – ODAT – The First Step
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The first of the twelve steps in Al-Anon, it is suggested, should leave no doubt where we stand when it comes to dealing with

alcoholic situations.  Admitting we are powerless over alcohol" might challenge our need to control the chaos, because we

automatically want to fix this, but the step goes on to point out that our lives had become unmanageable.  Todays ODAT

suggests that this challenge denies that we are able to do any fixing.  For haven't we, ourselves, demonstrated beyond doubt

that we have not been competent to manage our lives?

Todays Reminder:

The First Step is not a statement of despair.  It just points out that we humans have limitations.  It points out that in order to

remove the need to control and uncontrollable disease that we need to view our humble side and find the our spiritual answers

that place our lives on an entirely different plane."  The First Step is preparing us for deliverance from problems we cannot

cope with alone."

Let not my stubborn self-will, stand in the way of my achieving serenity.  Before I can accomplish anything, I must accept my

need for help.

I looked back to 2014 to my Step work and thought it would be poignant to share what I wrote when I first worked Step One:

I began Step One in May of this year, it was a huge relief admitting I was powerless over AH's drinking I thought there was

something wrong with me that I couldn't control the situation because AH was blaming me for everything and I believed him

for 10 long years. My emotions have become so much more stable and less self-conscious, I worry less about finances, my

spirituality has been enhanced and my relationship with my HP is much more trusting in that I realize that the hardships were

lessons that were for my own good and which have helped me to become wiser and more self reliant. I feel like I have come

full circle!! 

I readily admitted that I cannot control someone elses behavior, has been very pivotal in my recovery.  Admitting that, even

though this person in my life is my spouse, I cannot control their decision to drink.  It has to be their decision to stop, even

though it does affect me, the chaos that my spouses drinking causes is controllable, if I learn to not look at it as a personal

challenge and detach with love. 

{{HUGS}}    



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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart" ~ Unknown

Debbie
Lyne


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Thanks for your service and share Debb. As a former mental health professional, I was used to helping folks find solutions that would fix things. It seemed logical that within my own family, I could help find a way to fix my A. NOPE! Didn't work, no help, no way, no how. I literally spent years trying. It took a while for program and step 1 to sink in, but what a relief when it did. It didn't matter what I helped people fix before, I had to accept I could not, EVER, fix this. It was a hard concept, but the truth. And since doing all the steps now twice with a beloved sponsor, I am a much happier and healthier person. I can fix me! Yeah.

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Lyne
PosiesandPuppies


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Thank you Debb for your service & Lyne for your ESH!

Admitting I was powerless... not always easy for me. It helps to understand/accept that I am the only one to have ultimate power over... me and my actions & thoughts!

Enjoy this Thursday!
&

__________________

"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend

"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness."  Mary Oliver

 

 
Iamhere


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Greetings MIP - late to this daily, yet still grateful for all the shares & ESH. Thank you Debb for your service and the daily.

As I consider Step One today, it is a calming 'tool' for me. I do not understand what it is about me and my first instinct to 'fix', 'manage' or 'control' things and people well beyond my scope - yet it's present always. Step One just helps me to remember that I am powerless and admitting, embracing and accepting this truly gives me a bit of calm, long enough to realize what's within my scope and what's outside my scope.

In the beginning of my recovery, I battled everything and everyone. Not so much that I thought I was right yet did not want to admit I was wrong. I arrived with extreme black/white thinking, never understanding or considering that many can be 'right' and there are many ways to travel this journey called life. Accepting myself and others as mere humans, designed to make mistakes and be perfectly imperfect truly has helped me become more humble & graceful as I go through this journey.

My car accident was one week ago yesterday and I'm already battling my insurance company over 'it'. I'm less than excited with what they've offered and unhappy that I have to deal with at least 3 different persons to get through this process. While nobody has asked, if they did, I'd offer one great process suggestion - give each customer a single point of contact. *Sigh*

I just attended the virtual memorial service for my friend who passed unexpectedly. I had hoped it would help me with closure and grieving and while I appreciate the service, I have a big resentment today at Covid. We were not able to gather, hug, cry, etc. or honor her as we should, so just for today, I'm going to be mad at the damn virus. Another *sigh*

Because I've been raised in recovery to look for the good, I am grateful that I am angry with the virus and not God. Before recovery, I blamed all 'bad' things on God - even yelling at the sky at times. Today, because of recovery, I'm a bit less insane and can focus my energy/feelings better. I can allow myself to be sad about my loss, yet angry about the virus & the insurance company. Knowing where I am at helps me better focus on what I can do, today, just to get to the other side of today...

(((Hugs)))

__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
SunnyFrogs


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As I take a step back and absorb my powerlessness over another persons addiction I am also learning there's so much more that I am powerless over too. Whether it's another persons work ethics, their clothing choices,the way they talk,behave, whatever it may be,I am powerless .

And all I can do is accept that fact,which sure the heck isn't always easy. But it does make my life more manageable when I am able to.

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JerryF


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I often am amazed at the power of this, our program in evidence by reading the membership input and responses to how it works when we work it. 

I read the responses here with memory of past responses and get to see and hear the growth and changes which have come over us as we do what has been suggested by others in this family and which has worked for them; not perfectly just much more effectively after we have come to understand and then applied practice, practice and more practice.

"Change and then practice what the change has brought to me."  My sponsor was big on these lessons and the consequences from it made new changes miraculous.  I was supposed to be locked up or dead but left to live in new freedom and to listen to the ESH of others who benefited and came away with lives they would not let go of for anything other than more change, more progress.

My imagination includes thoughts and feelings of being able to let go of all of the gratitudes I have and to return to pre first step living.  Can I?  Yes.  Will I?  Not as long that on a daily basis I have a large loving, caring family to hold the light of recovery up before my journey.

I seems so very easy to have when I surrendered my self will to my HP and HP's will and then heard that new way of thinking and feeling and acting.  Mahalo Akua and my Family Group and allowing me to give it all away to others. smileyawn

 



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Jerry F
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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> February 11, 2021 – ODAT – The First Step