The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I had a REAL bad issue with my upper back...had to go to a physical therapist to help me find relief from this searing pain that would come and go...come and go...so she evaluated me and showed me stretches and exercise that would help my hips get mroe aligned and also my upper back, cervical where there might be some arthritis activity, but not bad, but my POSTURE, bending my head forward, texting, computers was HORRIBLE...when walking, I look OK but sitting was bad....I had to make LOTS of life style changes, exercise, stretching, stuff that will help my spine from cervical to lumbar be better aligned....its slow going...last week, I think I hit my lowest when I was cleaning my bookshelf, my hands were on top and my feet sorta slipped out from under me, (Dogs jumping on me, wanting to play) so I am hanging by my hands on bookshelf trying to get them off me, feet not supporting my weight, so my upper back is being stretcheddddd big time.. and I badly strained the same muscle I was having trouble with and I mean strained it...The pain was so bad, I was shaking..so i had to get some tramadol/tylenol for the pain...its slowly healing, but its gonna take about 2 months according to PT for this all to heal and be right......
So I have not felt like typing much because the pinch nerve from the muscle compressing ulnar nerve in r. hand, I COULD NOT TYPE....yea, i could get on Iphone and use microphone but even that was a chore because holding the phone were i am not crinching my neck was painful....I am typing now as the arm is slowly getting better, but it has its ups and downs and my baby finger is still tingly and clumbsy on keyboard
so thats where i've been at...flat on my back on heating pad or doing my physio to help this badly strained muscle to heal
THEN, today, my MIA family FINALLY dare to contact me today!!! ALL 4 of them have Covid....even the baby.....they are recovering, but all down with Covid, so there goes my New years visit........I felt robbed, but then I realized that they ARE recovering and they are NOT in hospital, they are NOT on ventilators.....so I guess that is how I need to look at it to not feel sorry for myself in that I get so lonely for my family....Wish I could afford to go home.....
Anyway, I hope you all are well and happy and safe
I can't type much because of this arm and the pinch nerve...already I am feeling discomfort, so gonna sign off for now....unemployment has dried up as of the 27th...if we don't get stimulus package, I don't want to think about it....i saved enough to last me a while, and SS pays the bills, but that is about it......I am waaay more fortunate then many who have nothing, no safety net at all.......So I am fighting off the fear if we don't get extension and no work comes in and with this injury, I can work out of my house as I fixed up my office to accomodate my special needs for right posture...its gonna be about 2 months before the physio will correct the damage done due to years of office work and bad posture from it and my C_PTSD not helping matters.....
there are times I have to DIG to find gratefulness, but I have been blessed in many ways...family will recover...I will recover.....finances will sort themselves out, HP has been carrying me along, carrying me over the rapids that have been my entire life....so I just need to chill and go get a snickers bar out of the refridge and indulge my sweet tooth
Merry Christmas Rose! So sorry for your back issues/pain, etc. Sending some virtual (((hugs))), healing prayers and positive energy. Come back by when you can!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Wonderful to "see" you back here!
With this pandemic, I do tend to worry when I don't hear from people for awhile... fearing the worst. I have kept you in my nightly prayers. Sounds like you are really having a rough patch with your back... but, you have the right help, the right meds... and you are taking care of you. Still, I send you virtual hugs! (((((Rose)))))
Keep up the self-care. Especially the mental self-care. You are right to focus on the fact that even though your family has COVID, they are not in hospital.
&
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Oh my! What a lovely bunch of people here to wish me hugs and just to welcome me back with open arms. I have missed all of you. Everyone of you I send love and light and positive energy to. I am still on my microphone on my phone as it still bugs my little baby finger to use the keyboard although I am able to use it somewhat as opposed to not at all. Its good to see you all doing OK and Truly love coming here because this is such a loving place. My back is slowly healing. Soft tissue issues are the hardest to deal with I have to do my physiotherapy every day without fail and so far the last two days I have not needed my pain meds and have not needed my muscle relaxers so that is a good sign. I think I can overcome this I think I just did a horrible strain on my rhomboid muscle the right side of me. And it never really healed thanks to my inability to slow down and take care of myself I would keep re-injuring it, well those latest really just put me into bed literally so I had to do some thinking and just get a hold of myself and except that I must slow down and listen to my body and if I feel sore or pain or anything, dont push through the pain like I used to, listen and take care of myself. This was a very hard lesson. A very painful one. But I do think because I have been an athlete all of my life, I think I can overcome but it is going to take time.
My family, thank you all for your prayers for them, so far nobody is in the hospital, so far everybody is OK. Sick but OK. You know this cousin we grew up more as sisters then cousins because I lived with them as much as I did in the pit. And maybe that is why I survived all that horrible abuse because I did have respites from it living With my dear cousin who is more a sister than cousin and my aunt Harriet and uncle Dick. I was loved and wanted and my cousin dearest and I slept together and we bathed together and we really were sisters because we were the same age and oh it was horrible when I had to go back to the awful place we would cry and cling to each other and aunt Harriet and uncle Dick did want to adopt me and they petitioned my mother and she was willing to let me go because she knew I was better off. But he would not but he would not let me go. And because he was uncle Dicks brother, it put uncle Dick in a very uncomfortable place because he knew that I did not have a good home but as my cousin told me had he any clue just how evil he was, not only would he have gotten me out of the house but he wouldve prosecuted him to the fullest. But it didnt happened and sometimes my cousin and I have a cry about it when we are working our program together, she is an Al-Anon due to too Her ex-husband and though she is not active in any Al-Anon board, I would love to see her come here, but she seems to be OK just working the 12 steps with me and the slogans and all of that we just kind of work together. But I would love to see her get on here.
I hope all of you had a good Christmas and I cant believe it it is in the 60s today. Lovely day. I may do a bit of a walk after I do my physiotherapy or just get out in the backyard and throw a tennis ball for the dogs. That sounds more like fun. Its just such a lovely day.
for the last TWO days, i've been chatting up with my only remaining brother, my favorite one and its been great...Hes an alcoholic, and I cannot change that, so I just savor the time I have with him and enjoy our conversations and leave it at that....We chat about the present, he helps me understand some stuff from the past and we both kinda see the past for what it really was, not embellished on or diminished because of wishful thinking...we just see it for what it was and its good to feel validated, him as well as me...I MAY get to see him this summer when , IF he goes into business with his friend, they vaca and they want to see me...He said he showed my pics to his friend and he wants to meet me, LOL....I've spoken to him on the phone and he sounds like a nice guy
anyway, physio therapy is calling me...I AM getting better, more mobile, and limber, range of motion is much better, I still am not going to swim but just work out in pool, cardio stuff until this upper muscle is all healed..I think that is where I messed up...re-injuring it doing things too soon after recovery
it was great talking with my brother...I do miss him...
Thanks, all of you for your nice replies on my post here..
it hurts to use my r. hand when typing as I am doing it now and the baby finger will be the last thing to fully recover...So I will be on my I[hone mic for a while and I'll try to watch the words it transcribes so my posts make sense....I am gonna EASY does it with this recovery....
& 