Hi y'all...

                   ...I don't just have to come to Alanon when my life is in a state of crisis.

I have been through the daily readers any number of times- all three of them.

And I read the readings here- regularly. I was in a fog much of my life and often the readings went in one ear and out the other. But I realise now- that a lot of the ideas stuck- on the way through.

I was petrified and scared that I would get things wrong. That I would touch on something that was not conference approved. I think this stemmed from the alcoholic home. Where right and wrong was sometimes applied randomly- on a whim. And the age old terms we use- walking on eggshells. Sometimes on broken glass.

But I still try to keep to the programme. A neighbouring meeting to me closed down. A member turned up and was ordered from the room for mentioning codependency. They didn't come back.

Okay- so after three or four weeks- this had become the sole group topic... then it was time for the group rep- or old timer, to have quiet chat with this member.

But at the same time- people pleasing and issues around codependency do exist in Alanon in my view. Expanding and sharing on this topic can be healing- without breaching the traditions- in my view.

We do have to move with the times.

After all- over the years I have been in Alanon the status of women in the world has improved measurably. And I am sure this is reflected in our programme- which was spear-headed mostly by women.

I am strong on this point- because I was around, and involved in, what my mum went through. This experience is a part of my personality and character.

Because his group is made up of written shares we can speak longer- when we need to.

And looks at other details of the programme.

This morning I picked up references to Mary Pearl T.

I can pick up her talks, later in the day through You- Tube.

As I get older- I don't want to become an old fuddy-dud. I model on Betty, Jean, and latterly Gwen who are all old-timers in my world who have passed away this year.

Gwen was a great speaker- in person- on higher power issues. At her funeral the pastor was an Anglican woman. She said that she went to Gwen for personal support. That says a lot about the strength of Alanon.

Last Christmas I took Gwen some cherries, and we had a really good chin-wag.

This is the kind of friendship and support I have come to expect from Alanon.

And it often takes a lot of time and support- and trusting- and bonding to achieve this all round.

Thanks for the share,

DavidG.