Hello all, its been a very long time and bumpy road. AH is attending his first AA visit online as a provision of his DUI probation but since F2F is suspended indefinitely in our area he's drinking a beer whilst online. His probation seems to be ramping up the drinking but I'm hopeful that he'll get some good out of this all. I've been wanting to come back over these years; losing good people here and in my personal life has wreaked its havoc. In trying to see the positive side of this terrifying time whilst sheltering in place I've tried to reflect on everything that has lead me to this point. I started realizing how I've abused and victimized myself as much as the A. I've been judgemental and resentful even as I pity him. It's been tense of course at home and with my health conditions I can't work so the financial situation is disastrous as in so many homes in the world. I don't know if I'll decide to leave after or if things go back to normal but in the meantime I'll keep doing the best I can for us and hope and pray for everyone to be as well as possible. Thank you.