The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Thank you for this post, bob. Since I had a major depression 10 years ago, my serenity is really worth more to me than almost anything. I have become more honest about my thoughts and feelings. I have become more forgiving of myself and others. Sometimes I even find myself feeling compassion for those I have trouble with! I have learned that it is better for me to take time away than to spend all my time at something when I am obsessing. I still have a long way to go. I tend to blame myself - always, first - when there is conflict. Sometimes I "do the same things over and over, expecting different results," even when that is truly insane. Most often, I still think I am the one who can make any relationship "work out," if I just do and say exactly the right things. I am still the responsible one, which I learned to be in my family of origin. Thankfully, I have not been asked to make the choices you have suggested. They are truly ethical choices. But I think I have to make many ethical choices every day, and Program helps me to do that, by being true to myself, as much as I can. I am working the fourth step (again) right now, and I am still learning. Going to meetings, finding a sponsor, working with my sponsor regularly, and learning to be kind to myself, to forgive myself, are big things I am learning in the program. Thanks again. And thanks for being here. Blessings, mebjk
Wow.... A really big piece of bacon to chew on Senora
It is weird, how so often I will give up something that I worked so hard to find just a little bit of.....serenity.....I know it is rare to find it in life, and that I should cherish it when I have it.....but when life throws rubber chickens at you it can fade away as fast as it came to begin with. This reminds me that I need to seek out serenity every day...and aviod decisions that can lead to someone, something, or some action taking my serenity from me. Its MY serenity!!! You Can't Have It!!!!!!!
I don’t really know how to answer this question, since I am still working at accepting and protecting the “priceless gift of serenity” and I feel like I have it at moments and sometimes at great stretches. But, maintaining the serenity I have is worth so much, and the promise of being granted more serenity is worth SO MUCH, which is why I’m so grateful for this program, and so committed to working the steps. I think I’m still to scared to find a sponsor, but I have been praying for willingness and openness, and to find the right person, and have been taking action despite my fears, talking to people about sponsorship, making program calls that double as “sponsor interviews” etc, which is a HUGE gift or recovery, to be able to take right actions even when I am in fear.
((((((((senora))))))))))) Thank you for the reminders about "what is MY serenity worth?" I really appreciate the reminder!! I am here to learn from others and to share my ESH to others!!!
My serenity is worth a lot to me and to share my serenity to others here on the board and in chat!!!
I love you all and I am very gratitful for all of you in my life and recovery!!!
For me: Serenity isn't something that you obtain once and then keep forever. It is constantly working the Alanon program, using the tools that are given and reminding myself of them. I'm certainly not serene all the time, but I do notice the longer I'm in the program, the sooner I can find my serenity again when it slips away. That to me is an achievement. Rather then days of being upset, I can recover my serenity in minutes IF I remember to work my program and use my tools. What I also notice as I live the program is it takes longer for me to lose my serenity. Things that used to upset me no longer do, they just aren't important enough. When I do feel myself getting caught up, I reach a point when I know I have to let it go, and do before I get upset.
It is becoming a habit to question situations. How important is it? Is this my business? Do the 3C's apply? The things that are huge and that are out of my control, I know to put in my HP's hands.
I look forward to the day I don't have to question which tool to use, the day that I just knowingly react because I've worked the program so much that it is ingrained in my being.
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
This reminds me that *I have the choice. I have the right, myself, to choose and also to maintain my own personal inner self " Serenity. "
I have the choice to keep my Mind and my Heart near to my mindset. My *Positive mindset. I can stay close within myself. I can reach out for and I can cling to my HP when I feel the need to be near to Him. THAT brings me Serenity. Fills me up with good will. It helps me to remain focused. This brings me Serenity. I find it is then easier to accept that is allright to "Let Go and Let God." I can give HP burdens I have allowed to begin taking on as my own. I choose, to let my Hp have those things that are not mine to possess. I have more strength and find it easier to choose throughout my Day what is right for me. This helps Me to remain serene.
With the love and acceptance I feel within me from my HP....all things are possible as long as I know my decisions are because they are what is best for me. What HP would want for Me. Best for my inner happiness. Those decisions, based my Serenity, help tp keep me at peace within myself (and with others.) I feel inner strength from making the right choices, the right decisions. I do feel the strength grow from within myself because of having it in my life. Serenity as a foundation .. a Key... it is also an action (a choice within,) for my Self. I am thankful for having the choice and for making the choice to keep it as a part of my daily life as much as possible. (((Senora)))(((BigHug)))
ty for the post, i read somewhere that having serenity is not the absence of problems, but the ability to cope with them. I really like that, reminds me that i dont have to have a perfect life to be happy, just life on lifes terms. My hubby always tells himself, well, would i rather be right or happy? lol i make sure he's happy cause i'm to busy being right! ROFL!!!!
Hug)))
