The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
And we come to this program to heal, this is a disease of perception. How I feel about a situation does not have to agree with how anyone else feels. We have been given the courage to finally speak up and take a chance and voice an opinion , that is a big deal .
Perception is tricky kinda like a boundary ,what may be acceptable to me is unexceptable to another and thats ok . we all look at things differently . Sitting around a table with several people giving thier opinon on a particular reading is amazing to me that everyone takes something diff from the same paragraph .We don't have to think alike to recover.
We take what we like and leave the rest .
Learning that just because u and I don't agree on something , dosent make me wrong , it simply means that we don't agree. Just my opinion Louise
I agree Abbyal. I like the take what you want and leave the rest. Though sadly, it takes time to learn this skill.
But as we know, it is vital to be able to keep the "put one foot in front of the other" slogan going too. We have to do this in order to cont. in alanon.
If we come down on each other, and not be supportive and we lose a member, I guess I hope we learn from that experience.
I also hope people will just keep coming back, no matter what, and learn from the experience. It is sometimes a hard one, but it's the only way we can grow. love,debilyn
Right. Another huge benefit of all of our own opinions is by hearing what others think, I can see a new view, new truths about something I haven't seen by myself. Just because our opinions aren't the same doesn't mean we disagree. That is the benefit of meetings vs. reading alone in a room. that's been my experience. ---Jill
Abbyal, The Program has really taught me that if someone else doesn't agree, that doesn't make me or them wrong! What a novel thought!!! Through working the Steps and going to meetings, I have actually come to a place where I can see the side of someone who thinks and believes totally differently from me - sometimes. That is amazing! Thanks for your thoughts. Blessings, mebjk
I thought about perception and boundaries today. My husband's perception is that he has moved on ie solved the problem read end his marriage. For me it has only caused hardship. I think that I have to set strong boundaries about my husband's perception.
Ya rang a bell with me nancy , yrs ago i was at meeting a new one . and a lady sharred that she had jsut called her ex husband to say hello , she was m issiing him that day . And she said that to her husb , his reply was well this is all your fault I was happy in our marriage just the way things were , you weren't .
Was so sad because she made changes and could not live with this crap anymore but He was always happy = go figure .
For me, I often find that my "expectations" (ha ha) of others in program is often higher than those not in program. And we all know what they say about expectations!!! The "outsiders" if you will, someone at weekend conference called them Martians (hee hee), don't know or are in denial of the 12 steps, traditons and concepts. But us "insiders" are. And yet I am often reminded that everyone in program is in a different place of recovery. I like the title of your post, so true.
Thanks,
Maria123
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
